Autumn Rain
by trasigtnintendo
Summary: AU: Piper stumbles upon someone in her backyard. A mysterious and guarded teen who seems to need help, but is too proud to admit it. Even so, Piper takes her in and shelters her, feeling the need to protect this somewhat fragile girl with a tough exterior. [TW: Physical Violence]
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** I just wanted to give my awesome and lovely friend Maugurt a shout out. (she also has an account here on so check her out. :)) She gave me this idea and she wanted me to write it, so she is to thank for this story coming to life. I hope you like it. Thoughts and criticism are always welcomed.

I do not own any of the characters.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

**Lost and found**

The heavy rain kept thudding on the big window. It had been coming down all day in the same great amount. The wind could also be heard, giving the rain extra force against the window sometimes. The naked trees kept swaying in the late autumn storm, although it was too dark to see them dancing in the wind at that moment. As the storm kept bustling on outside, Piper sat warm and content inside her big room with candles lightning it up. She was wrapped up in a cozy blanket and was long lost in a book. Her parents were away on some of her father's business trips, her mother probably drinking her night away in the hotel bar as her father was surely off at the business event flirting with other women. At this thought, Piper closed her eyes and tried to keep them away, but they kept swirling around in there. These thoughts had been keeping her company the whole night. She loved to be home alone, but it was the nature of her parents absence that kept her somewhat bitter. Ever since she saw her father outside that movie theater kissing another woman, she had started to view her parents relationship on a whole different level. She could see how they slowly grew colder and colder against each other. How the fake smiles grew larger and larger. Every Christmas picture kept getting stiffer and stiffer.

She put the book down to try and clear her head better. The words just kept jumping around when she thought about how shitty her whole family situation was. Lucky for Danny, who had moved away a few years ago, he didn't have to go through the worst passive aggressive years. He didn't even bother to visit much. His quest to become a star doctor was apparently more important than to visit his family and check on how is siblings were doing.

Cal, as well as Danny, wasn't home much and was out doing his thing, her parents didn't even seem to really care. He was basically only at home for meals and forced to stay home on so called important family events. They already had their two "star" children to account for, so what Cal really did wasn't accounted for on the same level as what Piper did.

She sighed deeply and stood up to go to her big window to maybe let the storm clear her head. The only thing visible though, was her own faint reflection in the window. She sighed again, about to give up on clearing her head, when a sudden metallic noise caught her attention. Piper abruptly turned to the window again to look for the source of the sound, but was met by more darkness. After having roamed the backyard with her eyes, she found nothing of interest and shook her head, thinking she had imagined the sound. Thankful for this distraction she went back to her bed and blanket, ready to yet again lose herself in the wonderful world of words.

After about two pages, she heard something again, this sound was much more distinct. She rose from the bed again and went downstairs to the living room that had two large french doors towards the backyard. She tiptoed to the doors, not sure if someone or something was really out there. As she got closer to the door, she raised her arms to her chest and clenched her cardigan tightly in her fists. Her breathing got faster as she gazed out and slowly laid one hand on the door handle. In the same pace she walked out on the small wooden patio that had a roof over it. She left the door open to be sure to have a quick escape to safety.

The only thing she could see was the dark yard and the rain that kept hitting the ground with it's big wet drops.

"Hello?" She said, although not in a loud voice. It didn't feel safe to shout out into the night when it was this dark outside. Like she wanted to find the disturbance, but at the same time she didn't if there actually was something there. She didn't get an answer, though. All that could be heard was the wind and rain, but at one point the wind almost stopped and she thought she could hear faint footsteps. The kind of footsteps that were stuck in wet and muddy grass. She stood deadly still and tried not to breathe, until the wind picked up again. She let out the breath that she was holding and was about to turn around when she could hear something falling. Well, it was surely more a someone than something as the sound resembled a body hitting the wet grass. Her eyes went wide and she turned around again, more alarmed than before.

"Hello?!" This time she said it more loudly. She didn't really want to walk out there with her brand new uggs, but what if someone had just collapsed there? Like an old person or something. So, she squared her shoulders and took the first step down on the wet grass, sure to destroy her new shoes. Even so, she continued on and kept her eyes open for a body on the ground.

When she rounded the corner of the house and got closer to the old tree that was the center of the backyard she could see something moving slightly. At first she stopped, scared of what might lay in front of her.

"Hello...?" She said, although this was more like a whisper. She took a few tentative steps closer to the lump in front of her when she stepped on a twig that gave way under her weight with a sharp snap. This awoke the lump and it turned around shielding it's face with it's hands.

"Please don't hurt me, I'm not a burglar." A raspy girls voice exclaimed. Piper was a bit taken aback by the voice, but relaxed some when she could hear that it was a girl. Ignoring the quite cold rain, she took another step towards the body. Even if she took some comfort in the stranger on the ground being a girl, she couldn't quite understand what she was doing there.

"I'm not going to hurt you. What are you doing out here in the rain?" Piper asked as she got closer, but it seemed as the girl didn't want to be near her.

"Please, just... just don't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry..." The girl said in a broken voice that told Piper there was so much more to this story than she originally thought. Sure, a stranger out in her backyard when it rained heavily in the night was bound to be a long story all by itself, but just by the way the girl was acting told her that it was an even longer story and not as simple as just walking in to the wrong backyard.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm not trying to harm you. Are you hurt?" Piper gently asked as she crouched down so she was more on the same level as the other. She had read somewhere that being on the same level as another person signaled that she wasn't a threat. It could've been complete bullshit, but it felt right to do it at the moment. She wanted to know what the girl was doing there.

The wind slowed down again, and she could her faint sobs coming from the other girl, but she didn't get a verbal answer. Even so, the sobs were an answer enough that something terrible must've happened to the girl.

"What's your name?" Piper tried in the same gentle tone as before, maybe she didn't want to talk about whatever had driven her there.

"Alex..." The gravely and broken voice answered her.

"Hey, I'm Piper. We should go inside. It's warm and safe there." Piper stretched out her hand, even so, the other girl flinched at the movement. She bit the inside of her cheek when she saw this. A normal person wouldn't do this. So something really terrible must've happened to the girl for her to react like this to a friendly gesture. After some time of Piper being completely still, the girl took her hand and they slowly rose from the ground together. When they both had risen to their full height, Piper lead them both inside.

When they reached the doors, she took off her wet and slightly destroyed shoes on the patio and the girl did the same. She hadn't let go of Alex's hand yet, as if she was scared that she might run away and then Piper would never know what had happened to her.

As they stood on the shielded patio, Piper could tell from the faint light coming from inside that the other girl's clothes were dirty and ripped on some places. Her hand was so cold. How long could she have been out there in the rain? Days, weeks? Piper felt weights coming down on her shoulders, but not from the burden of taking care of the Alex. They came from the sorrow she felt for the other girl, for what she may have suffered. One does not simply end up in a strangers backyard without a reason.

She lead them inside, closing the door. Piper paused, unsure if she wanted to let go of the others hand. Like she thought Alex would run away the first chance she got. So she didn't let go of Alex's hand. Slowly she took Alex upstairs to her room, where the candles were still glowing with their warm flame. Piper turned around and faced the girl for the first time in somewhat good lightning. When Alex realized that the other girl was staring at her face, her gaze fell to the floor, aware of how she must look.

She had a large bruise following her right cheekbone, and even if it rained outside, traces of dried blood could be found on her face and around the bruise. She also had small cuts all over her face, like she had run straight through a compact thorn bush. Even if she looked rough she was still beautiful. Her wet raven hair cascaded down her shoulders. Standing taller than Piper, she looked to be a little older, but not by much. Black rimmed frames covered her gentle spring green eyes and if she hadn't looked so beaten up, it would have been a happy and beautiful picture to keep in mind, but it was just sad that someone would want to hurt the girl in front of her.

"What happened to you?" Piper whispered, but Alex didn't offer a reply as she just shifted in her place. Piper sighed and closed her eyes as tears started to cloud her vision. She felt sympathetic towards Alex, even if she didn't know what had happen. The wounds didn't look self inflicted.

Since she didn't get a reply, she thought she should get Alex more comfortable.

"We should get you warm, those wet clothes look uncomfortable." Piper said, but blushed immediately when she thought of how that might sound.

"I don't mean that I'll warm you up, just that a warm shower could warm you up since you've been out in the rain and your hand was so cold, so I figured that you're cold and wet clothes are never comfortable so..." Piper bit her lip when she realized that she had just showed Alex one of her special talents: to rant on endlessly and end up in an even more awkward situation than before. Even if the situation Alex was in wasn't idealistic, a ghost of a smile played on her lips as she lifted her gaze to meet Piper's.

"Thanks, that would be nice." Alex said while her gaze shifted to the floor again.

After showing Alex the bathroom and laying out a towel and some clothes that she thought might fit the older girl, she closed the door to the behind her and went to her bed. She laid down to think about what had just happened. It was a huge risk letting a complete stranger inside her house, but she had acted so wounded and scared and she felt more of an obligation to help the girl. It wasn't like this obligation felt like a burden, she wanted to help the girl in any way she could. It was highly unlikely that she would have let the other inside had she been hostile. She could only think of what her mother would say. Scolding her for letting the girl inside. It wouldn't matter to Carol what the other girl had obviously been through. She couldn't let her mother know, since she didn't want to kick Alex out. Inevitably her parents would be a problem, but that would be a problem for later. She really felt the need to protect the other girl from whatever was out there and that was the only thing she wanted to focus on at the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

**Please do read the Author Note. **

**AN:** So I deiced to change the rating of this fic, since I will be discussing violent and abusive themes in this. I do not want to be responsible for not labeling what may be triggering content to some, so this is, from here on out, an M-rated fic. I will also change it in the tags of this story. Please do forgive me if some of you only followed this story for its rating, but I realized too late which themes I would bring up. I will write at the top of all the chapters that are going to contain triggering content. I apologize for my bad planning and scatterbrained publication of this story.

_P.S A shout out to all you fantastic guests who left reviews! I can't reply to you guys, but seriously all of you melted my heart and made me smile. I am so grateful for that. Never thought that this story would get such a reaction. I'm blown away by all the response! _

_Thank you so much! And to the rest of you all who left a favorite, followed and reviewed, thank you so much! You guys are the best. _

_D.S_

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Nightmares**_

After quite some time, Alex emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed in the clothes Piper had given to her. They looked to be a bit too short, but they were cleaner and warmer than her previous outfit. Alex fiddled a bit with her fingers before she fixed her glasses, which sat perfectly on her nose already. It was almost like she pondered what her next move might be. It was uncanny how much she looked like a little deer caught in the headlights of a speeding car. Something about her seemed to be out of place. She seemed to be stronger than the average person was. It was just the way her whole aura seemed to glow with an almost untouchable core. Like nothing could ever scratch an inch on her surface. This was a girl who could stand up for herself, but at this moment, she looked more fragile than a porcelain doll on the edge of a dresser, ready to tumble to the ground.

Alex took a deep breath and looked down onto the floor before she spoke, this time with a more sure voice.

"Thank you so much for being kind to me, I know I'm just a stranger and you don't have to do anything more. I'll get going. Thank you." Alex lifted her spring green eyes to Piper's crystal blue ones. Only then could Piper see how puffy they were and her gaze was almost hollow, but the shininess of them told Piper a different story. All the cuts and bruises didn't help the picture either.

"No, you don't have to go." Piper said as she sat up a bit straighter on her bed, but Alex still turned around, ready to open the door to Piper's room.

"I want to do more for you, Alex."

"Look, you don't have to, you have done so much more than you need to already." Alex said in a soft and shaky voice and pressed down the door handle slowly, like she was forcing herself to leave. Her whole body language was stiff like she was fighting every step to actually leave.

"No, I only did what anyone else would've done." Piper said and rose from the bed, slowly walking closer to Alex.

"I won't let you leave. You can't go out there, Alex. I know something terrible happened to you. Please just stay the night, my parents won't be home for another week and I don't have school. Please?" Piper pleaded and stood behind the older girl's back.

"Why, are you doing this...? I'm... I'm just a stranger, I could be a thief or a... a... whatever. How do you know that you can trust me?" Alex said down to the floor, but still had her back turned to Piper.

"I don't think a thief or a bad person would have reacted the way you did when I tried to help you up, or try to leave when asked to stay." Piper said in a hushed tone. She extended her arm, but withdrew it immediately since she wasn't sure of how the other would react to the touch. They stood there in somewhat of a cold war stand off. Neither girl said a word until Alex moved again, apparently having made up her mind. She turned around and Piper let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Look, Piper. I can't..." Piper closed her eyes when it became evident that the other still wasn't giving up on leaving.

"Please, don't..." Was all that the blonde could say. She didn't want Alex to leave. Piper knew she could help her, at least with giving a roof over her head. It would feel like she was abandoning the other if she let her walk out the door.

"Piper..."

"No." Piper interrupted again, but all she was met with was the other girl turning around again.

"Please, don't leave." Piper whispered, and the raven-haired girl stopped dead in her tracks. She saw how Alex's shoulders slumped a bit as she sighed, clearly giving in to Piper's pleading.

"Okay..." The raven-haired girl just whispered. Piper released a quiet breath and smiled lightly. She walked closer to the other and placed a tender hand on her shoulder. Thinking that this time it would be more okay to touch her since she agreed to stay.

"Come on then, I'm sure you're tired, so lets just go to sleep." Alex nodded, still facing the door as Piper blew out all the candles in her room and got them something to sleep in.

She lead them both to her parents bedroom that had a large enough bed to given them both some sense of space and so she didn't have to drag out some old and dusty mattress. She still wanted to be in the same room as the other girl, so she could keep an eye on her. Piper really didn't want her to leave yet. She wanted to know what had happened so maybe she could be of better help to the other girl.

After having changed once again, they both settled under the covers. Yet again, Alex turned her back towards Piper.

As the minutes ticked by, Piper watched the raven-haired girl's back. She didn't move an inch and her breathing couldn't be heard. The blonde didn't dare to breathe loudly. She was afraid that if she did, she might disturb or wake Alex up. She couldn't tell if she had fallen asleep or not, since she didn't move.

Maybe fifteen minutes later, Piper's body started to ache a bit from the awkward position she was in. She needed to move herself desperately. Little by little, she moved onto her back. The storm outside raged on harder than before. Had it been summer, the rain may have been accompanied by thunder that would've lit up the room with its powerful flash. She was glad that it wasn't. Piper hated thunderstorms. She couldn't tell why, but they scared her and since she only had someone's back for company, the whole situation would've been much scarier. She was thankful that it was only an autumn storm. Piper loved them. They were cozy and was a good enough excuse to make hot chocolate and curl up with the steaming cup and a good book. However, this particular storm made her edgy. The whole evening and night had been so weird. Finding the other girl in the backyard and the whole ordeal before. It was actually rare that she pondered over her parents relationship anymore. It seemed futile and overdue. It was what it was. Soon she would be able to move away from it and do what Danny had done. Even so, she would still want to visit Cal. He was a good brother and they always had fun when they spent time together. All these thoughts made her almost itchy to leave and be somewhere else. It was like her throat was tighter than it usually was and didn't want the air to reach her lungs. But it wasn't like the kind of air shortage one gets when winded from a long run. This was more panic related and she just wished she could be somewhere else. She could almost feel how the tears were being pressed out of her eyes. Piper bit the inside of her cheek, trying hard not to cry. She was so thankful when she heard a small whisper coming from beside her.

"Thank you. I..." Alex whispered so quietly, Piper thought she didn't mean to say it out loud and turned around to face her back again. All of the earlier thoughts just evaporated into the air as she focused on the other girl.

"What happened to you?" Piper whispered back, aching to know what had happened. She heard how Alex drew a sharp breath and saw how her body started to tremble, like she was holding back violent sobs. Piper yet again bit the inside of her cheek for being so clumsy with her mouth.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Alex." Piper moved closer to the other and put a hand on Alex's shoulder. Suddenly, the raven-haired girl threw herself around and embraced the blonde fiercely. After the shock, Piper returned the embrace and started to stroke Alex's hair, trying to comfort the other. She always found it soothing when someone would do that to her. Her dad would always do it when she was sick or if she was really upset about something. It made her feel safe and she could only hope that Alex felt the same.

"It'll be okay. Whatever happened, it will be okay." Piper whispered and continued her motions.

"No. It won't..." Alex whispered between quiet sobs. The blonde closed her eyes and just focused on trying to console the other girl.

Eventually the raven-haired girl's breathing evened out and she fell asleep. Piper on the other hand lay awake for quite some time before her world turned into darkness and sleep finally had mercy on her.

Piper sharply woke up from her short sleep by screams.

"No, no, no, no! God no! Please stop hurting her! No, no... no. Mom!" Piper was completely paralyzed by what she heard and by the time Alex stopped talking in her sleep, she woke up as well. Silent tears streamed down her face and her breathing was fast. The raven-haired girl squeezed her eyes shut and put a hand on her forehead as she seemed to fight sobs.

"Did you have a nightmare"? Piper whispered as to not startle the other as much, however, her intentions failed as Alex twitched and opened her eyes widely. When she saw that it was only Piper beside her she sighed and nodded.

"Do you wanna talk about it...?" The raven-haired girl closed her eyes again and turned her back on Piper. It started to feel like a defense mechanism. Like it was the only move the other could do to protect herself. Piper thought she was just going to close up again, so she relaxed back into the bed, still facing the others back.

"He... He just wouldn't stop..." Alex whispered and Piper could see how the sobs shook her body again. It terrified the blonde to no end by what she had heard. What did the other mean by "_He just wouldn't stop?_" Someone had obviously hurt Alex, considering the bruise on her cheekbone, it was a strong possibility. Even so, it didn't really explain why she ran away. And then with the sleep talk about something hurting her mother? Had her dad done this? And where was her mother? Was she still with the person who seemed to hurt them? Piper tried to calm her racing mind, she couldn't jump to conclusions like that. She knew nothing about what had really happened and she could be totally wrong. This nightmare could just be a fantasy monster brought to Alex by stress of maybe just running away from home for some reason.

"What do you mean? Did someone hurt you and your mother?" Alex didn't answer and just continued to cry harder. It felt so frustrating not getting any answers, but could she really blame Alex? They had barely known each other for a few hours and Piper wouldn't expose her inner most secrets to a stranger either. The blonde had to accept that she was a stranger to Alex.

"Alright, come here." Piper softly said and turned Alex around to hug her.

It was clear that the other girl needed a safe haven, comfort and someone to tell her that it was going to be all right. Sure, everyone is responsible for their actions. In Alex's case however, she just couldn't be responsible for hurting her mother or someone else. The way she acted told her that and she just had a feeling about Alex. Even if she seemed tough, she wouldn't hurt someone she loved. Piper bit the inside of her cheek. She was being silly and really needed to stop thinking about what could've happened. If the other wanted her to know, the answers would come with time.

Piper had become very good at reading people. Ever since the incident with her father, her whole world shifted and she started to see it differently. She started to listen more carefully to what her parents said to each other, how they acted around each other. Piper's friends would think she was crazy, when she said that her parents detested each other. They would usually comment with, "_What, are you crazy, Piper? They__'__re adorable __together._" When Piper got that response she would usually just shut up or change the subject to whatever was _really_ important to her friends.

She swatted those thoughts away, she didn't need more things to be sad about. Her main focus at the moment was to try and comfort the girl in her arms. It actually felt a bit weird to take care of someone when she was so used only take care of herslef, but it was good. She felt useful. Yet again she felt stupid. This wasn't about her feeling like a better person. She sighed and stroke the silky, raven hair. The sobs had stopped, but she could still feel the wet stain on her shirt that the raven-haired girl left on her.

"Ssh, ssh. Hey, whatever happened it's not your fault, okay?" Piper cooed, trying with all her might to calm the raven-haired girl. Alex just shook her head, crying harder into the blonde's chest. It ached inside of her. She wanted to make this stranger whole again. It was a weird feeling. She didn't know the raven-haired girl at all, and yet she wanted to make all the bad things go away.

"Hey, you know what?" Piper softly said and looked down on the other, a light smile bracing her lips. Alex looked a bit confused and slowly shook her head. Her cheeks were covered in tears and Piper gazed down at the girl for a moment before she wiped them away.

"Before I found you, I read a really good book. You like books?" Alex only nodded, still with a puzzled look on her face.

"I could read to you or you could read something on your own?" Piper whispered, still stroking the other girl's hair.

"Yeah... Read to me." Alex nodded, but still had hear eyes out in dead space. Piper could see how the tears slowly stopped running down her face and that the girl was in that stage where everything is just strangely calm. The aftermath of a crying session.

The blonde untangled herself from Alex as she rose and went to her room. She wondered for a while what she would pick up as she scanned her small bookshelf. There were so many good books on the shelves, but she wondered what the raven-haired girl would like.

At last, she went for one of her favorites. It didn't seem fair to the raven-haired girl if she picked up the book she had been reading prior to the whole ordeal.

When she got back, Alex laid in the exact same position she had left her in.

"I picked one of my favorites, I hope that's okay." She climbed back into the bed and sat up, leaning against the headboard of the bed. Shockingly enough, Alex placed her head in her lap as she opened the book to its first page. Piper cleared her throat before she started to read in the dim light coming from the corridor outside the bedroom.

"_"So you're all set for money, then?" the boy named Crow asks in his typical__sluggish voice. The kind of voice like when you've just woken up and your mouth still feels heavy and dull. But he's just pretending. He's totally awake. As always._

_I nod. _"

**AN:** The quote is from _Kafka on the shore_ by Haruki Murakami. For those of you who haven't read it, it's about this boy, Kafka, who is running away from home. I just found the quote fitting and I absolutely love Kafka on the shore.

I know that Murakami is criticized for a lot of things, mostly about his views on women. I couldn't agree more that his views are off, but I can't help but love the way he writes and how he weaves his stories together... I don't know. I could go on and on about his books, but this isn't the place. Thank you for reading. Love always.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **I'm still blown away by the response I get on this story. It's overwhelming and I'm humbled by it all, thank you so much.

To the guest reviewer who asked about their age: Yes, they are around high school age, about the last year. So 17-18. And also, thank you for your review. :)

I wish I could reply to all of you who leave a review. They mean the world to me and I want to repay that by giving you guys the appreciation and by replying to you. The same goes to those who have decided to follow and favorite this. Thank you so much!

Okay, this chapter contains some discussions that may be triggering to some. Just so you are aware.

Also, from this point I will be really scared of fucking this story up. I try my best to make this as realistic as possible, but it is hard and I cannot guarantee that I will succeed every time, but I am trying my hardest. Since I have no first hand experience of something like this, I can only try and put myself into Alex's situation. So we'll just have to see if I succeed or fail.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Sometimes you just need to be someplace else**_

Hard winds pushed against the windows and woke Piper from her sleep. The storm seemed to still rage outside. The rain kept coming down and the wind kept the naked trees dancing. It was yet another day to stay inside.

She felt like she had slept longer than the last time she woke up. Thankfully, it had been a dreamless sleep, even so she didn't feel rested at all. She slowly stretched out on the bed trying to feel more awake. As her stretching session was over she thought it odd to have slept in her parents bedroom. She would almost always avoid it at all costs. It just reminded her of how distant they really were from each other.

Suddenly she remembered why she had chosen that room to sleep in. Turning to her side she found the other side of the bed empty. The sight made her heart drop in her chest and she got up fast, willing to have a berserk search party to find the other. It was odd what she felt. She felt like she had a responsibility towards Alex. To take care of her, make her feel safe. Safe enough to get her to talk so Piper could take the necessary actions towards the still mystery event. Piper could call the Police all by herself, but that didn't seem like such a good idea. She only knew two things, and one thing she wasn't so certain of and if she was being honest, she couldn't say that she knew anything for certain either.

With bare feet she ran down the cold stairs trying to find the other.

She first went into the kitchen as it was a direct route from the stairs, but couldn't see a living soul. It left her with a sense of worry and she froze on the spot. What if Alex had really been a thief and had just played Piper? How would she defend that to her mother?

She shook it off since she saw the genuine look of sadness and distress on the other girl's face the night before. No one could fake that or the way she was behaving, Piper thought as she started to move through the kitchen and gazed into the large living room that had tall bookshelves around the walls. Piper found the other girl facing them, gracing some of the spines with her fingers. She felt relief to have found the other girl. To know that she was not in fact a criminal or that she had left without saying goodbye. She released a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Hey, finding anything you like?" Piper asked as she got closer to the other. Startled, Alex turned around. She nodded after fixing her glasses and turned around again. The bags under her eyes were deep and almost the color of her bruise. It was clear that the girl hadn't slept well or much in quite some time.

"Like what?" Piper asked and got closer to the bookshelf Alex was standing in front of. She scanned the shelf with practiced ease and found her favorites in no time. Relishing all the good memories they came with.

"I had forgotten how good Murakami is..." Alex whispered in a hoarse voice, letting her fingers grace over a book spine of his. It was _The wind-up bird chronicle._ Piper had actually managed to read through it one time. It was a very surreal book, but a really good one. It was one of the best she had read, but she could never explain why.

"Yeah, he is good." Piper answered and took a seat on the big couch that was placed in the middle of the room, facing the huge television standing proud on a low furniture. She watched the raven-haired girl for a while as she browsed the large bookshelf, seemingly becoming lost in the ocean of words that lay before her.

Piper stayed in her position for a while and just observed the other's movements. Soon though, the other turned around, almost like she was too aware of the eyes on her back. She fixed her glasses on her nose and seemed to straighten herself out. She wore a look that almost resembled defeat, but maybe it was just tiredness shining through.

"You been up long?" Piper asked from where she sat on the couch. Alex just nodded and walked over to the furniture and sat at the other end of it, staring right in front of her. There was a slightly tense pause hanging in the air. The only other sound was the wind and rain from outside. The room was dusky from the lack of natural light from the absent autumn sun. Piper tucked her feet up on the couch, hugging her legs while she studied the raven-haired girl. She drew a shallow breath and decided to speak her mind.

"Please, Alex can you tell me what happened? I'm worried..." Piper asked in a tiny voice, hugging her legs tighter while she could only study the older girl's profile as she drew a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"It's just stupid, okay?" Alex said in a hard tone and rubbed her temples as she sighed deeply again.

"If you want me gone, then I'll leave." She said and Piper could see how her muscles tensed and readied themselves to push their commander into a standing position.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I'm worried. Is someone hurt? Do I need to call the police or something?" Piper said as she also prepared herself to leave the couch if necessary.

Alex relaxed again and slacked back into the cushions almost like she deflated, no longer having the strength to run away.

"Look, I was just really upset yesterday. I know it looked way more dramatic than it was. Trust me." Alex said and straightened out her glasses, which again, sat perfectly on her nose to begin with. It seemed more and more like a nervous habit of hers.

"Then tell me, because I have quite vivid imagination and from the things I heard, someone was really hurt." Piper said, still with her eyes wide and her whole body on the edge, ready to take action if needed.

"Look, like I said, I was way more dramatic than I needed to be. Something... I'm not really proud of myself for..." Alex lifted her glasses and sat up as she placed them on the coffee table in front of the couch. She rubbed her temples again and closed her eyes hard.

"So, what happened?" Piper probed, trying to soften her voice so the other didn't feel so pushed into talking, even if that was exactly what Piper was doing.

"I... It's complicated." Alex said and let out a huge breath.

"I'm a good listener." Piper said in the same soft voice she had used earlier. She saw the hesitance in the other girl, but let her decide when she felt ready to share.

"I got into an argument with my mom's new boyfriend." Alex closed her eyes for a moment as she let out a shaky breath before she continued. Piper had yet again drawn her knees up and listened to Alex with rapt attention.

"It was just a verbal confrontation. He blamed me for some money gone missing, which he probably gambled away on his online poker obsession. Anyway, I was just making a sandwich and suddenly he got closer and started waving his arms around, and..." Piper's eyes had gotten wide again and she hung to every word, finally getting the closure she needed to not feel like her stomach contained a bunch of tied ropes.

"So, did he hit you?" Piper asked as she let her legs fall down so she sat with them tucked underneath each other. The other girl paused, opening her mouth only to close it. It was as if she was choosing her words very carefully and deliberately. Alex closed her eyes again.

"Eh... No."

"It's just that he flailed with his arms and I got... scared and fell over something. And then he just towered over me and reached out his hand or something and I guess I just lost it and ran out of there as fast as I could." Piper knitted her eyebrows together.

"Why did you run? Has he hit you before? Is that where the bruise came from?" Piper asked, trying hard not to trip over her own words. It was not that she was excited to hear about the slight possibility that Alex may have been abused, but she just wanted to find out what had happened so bad.

"Um... No, I just... I just don't like him..." The raven-haired girl said and sat up again and leaned her head in her hands.

"And in that moment I just freaked out and ran, you know?" She rubbed her face when she finished the sentence and seemed to go into her own head. Her eyes had that slight glace on them and Piper decided that they weren't going to talk more about it at that moment. It would come later. Piper felt like there was more to the story than the raven-haired girl let on, but she had at least share some of it and that was always a start.

"I'm really sorry that happened..." Piper whispered as she studied the thinking girl for a moment. She sighed. There wasn't much more that could be said that would make it better. She just wished she could take the bad away, but since she didn't have full the picture, it would be so much harder to do so. Even so, Piper wouldn't let that stop her.

The only thing that she knew for certain, was that Alex had ran because she wanted to be somewhere else and that usually comes from something bad. So, Piper decided that she was going to try and make something nice for the other girl. Whatever that was, she would figure it out later, but at that moment she knew they had to eat something. Maybe that would clear the atmosphere between them and hopefully get Alex on other thoughts. Piper understood that talking and thinking about hard topics all the time would do more harm than it would ever be useful. So that was what she would try to do; get the girl something nicer to think about and maybe then, the full story would come out.

"What do you want for breakfast?" Piper said, rising from the couch. Alex seemed to snap out of her thinking session and just shrugged her shoulders.

"Come along then." Piper said as she passed the other and smiled a bit.

After devouring the feast that Piper had presented as breakfast, they both sat down on the couch again, a bit more content. They had eaten in silence and Piper was feeling a little antsy about it. She still wanted to ask so many things about what had happened to Alex, but felt that it was still a bit too fresh to go over it all again so soon. She was trying to be patient, but it wasn't one of her strong suits. It never had been. It was like that one time she called the traffic information center when her buss was ten minutes late. She couldn't for the life of her be patient when she wanted to get somewhere or just when she generally wanted something.

Out of habit, Piper started the TV and Alex didn't protest. As she found something that was okay to watch she laid the controller on the table, signaling to Alex that it was okay if she wanted to switch the channel.

They watched in silence for about ten minutes before Piper started to get restless again. At that moment, it wasn't because she wanted Alex to talk about what had happened, she just wanted to do something. That made her wonder what the raven-haired girl used to do on her own time. Did she take long walks? Did she hang out with friends? Or did she just like to relax and listen to good music while reading a book? All those things, Piper couldn't really provide for. Sure, she could leave the other girl to read, but then what would she herself do? She had to find something that they both could do. It was becoming more and more evident that she wanted to get to know Alex. Piper let her mind wander to all of the things they could do, but found nothing that seemed good enough. She was about to give up when she got the most brightest idea and just hoped that Alex wanted to do it.

"Hey, do you um... Want to play scrabble or something? We have quite a lot of games so we could do that." Piper said and looked over to the other. She actually saw a tiny smile on the other girls face and Piper exhaled a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Yeah, sure. But I warn you. I kick ass at scrabble." Another weak smile formed Alex's lips and Piper found herself smiling back.

"We'll see about that." She said as she got up from the couch and went to fetch the game.

After three rounds of scrabble, where Piper found herself embarrassingly beaten, they were both in much higher spirits and it just made the blonde warm inside. She really enjoyed the time they spent together and Alex made for a really good gaming partner. How cocky she was and how easily they both found themselves falling into bantering sessions, teasing each other in every way they could. It was nice to see Alex come out of her shell. She found herself dreading the time when Alex would have to go home. The time would come, it was inevitable. Piper assumed that the raven-haired girl's mother was worried about her daughter's whereabouts. The thought of Alex leaving left Piper with a tinge of sadness.

She really liked Alex's company and found that it was something she could get used to.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: **Yet again, I want to thank all of you who have reviewed, followed and favorited this story. It means so much to me. I hope I can keep you all interested in this story. As I said before, I may fail, but we will see when it comes to that. I know this is short, but the next one will make up for this kind of filler chapter.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Tidbits**_

Piper had found some more games, and they played all the way into the evening. Finding themselves in a blissful little bubble that only contained _them_, their banter and small talk about everything and nothing.

After finishing a long game of Trivial pursuit, where Piper lost again, they started to pack it back into its box. What took most time of the game was discussing why one or the other of them didn't know certain things. Even after they had put the game away they continued discussing certain things, but mostly their topics were kind of abstract in the way that they didn't really talk about themselves, they only talked about things like what they thought about politics or what kind of music they liked. Piper found that Alex was so much different from her and had a fascinating view on the world. The blonde had yet to find out where Alex lived and which school she went to. Even so, it didn't bother her that much. It was so nice to get to know someone so unconditionally, without any kind of expectations of social status and the like. Sometimes it seemed that that was all her other friends cared about and naturally Piper had started to judge people that way. But it was beginning to wear thin on her. All they ever talked about was who had the right shoes, who had the right outfit in the right color or who had the right whatever. Piper couldn't for the world care what others wore on their feet. Even so, she hadn't the power to rule over how her friends had taught her to judge people.

It was so liberating to hear Alex talk about how the world was a rotten place with all social standards and expectations. Never in that monologue was there ever a personal attack on somebody because they wore something considered wrong, or that they were born with an ugly face. It felt weird to think that it was liberating to hear that the world was ugly, but at the same time, she couldn't agree more. It felt nice to hear somebody say that it was wrong to judge people like that and that not all people were like her friends.

When they had been talking for an hour, Piper found herself getting hungry and as much as she wanted to keep talking to Alex, the conversation they had would most likely be interrupted by her growling stomach.

"Hey, do you want pizza for dinner? I could make something, but ordering is much faster." Piper said when there was a slight lull in the conversation. The raven-haired girl just nodded and put her glasses down on her nose again. When they were talking, the glasses had been resting on her head. Piper found the other girls gaze to be so much more piercing without the little pieces of glass shielding them. It was too easy to get lost in their hazy green color that reminded Piper of the spring that hadn't yet fully bloomed out. It was rare for Piper to find herself mesmerized by someones eyes, but they were simply so beautiful that it was hard not to find them more and more appealing.

She shook herself out of her thoughts as she felt the tugging hunger in her stomach return and went up to find her phone.

"What kind of pizza do you want? We could order two and then save one for later?" Piper asked as she entered the living room again, phone ready to order.

"Whatever you're having." Alex said and smiled a bit, and Piper returned it as she called the number to order the pizzas.

"I'm just going to take a shower, you can just read or watch TV meanwhile." Piper said as she stood up from the couch and looked to Alex for an okay. The other girl just nodded and stood up as well, but she went to the bookshelves.

As Piper stood in the shower, in the process of cleaning the conditioner out of her hair, she recalled that Cal had yet to return home. Piper vaguely remembered something about him staying the entire week at some friend's cabin or something. She didn't really care, her parents had left her some money to buy food, and really, she was able to take care of herself.

She sighed, if she hadn't had Alex there, she would be alone. Sure, she could hang out with some of her friends, but most of them were away some place. And since she had gotten to know the other girl a little better, she realized she didn't want to hang out with her friends more than she had to. As she turned off the shower and stepped out of it she smiled a little to herself. Piper actually felt that she had found a new friend. Even if they had a long road to walk, it started to feel like they were becoming something at least. During the little time they had interacted, it felt more and more normal to be around the other. That feeling had definitely become stronger when they played games and just relaxed, not thinking about the situation that had brought them together.

She dried her hair and got dressed before she made her way downstairs.

When she got down to the living room again, she found Alex cuddled up on the couch with a book in her hand. It was _Kafka on the beach_, the book she had read to the raven-haired girl the other night.

"So, you liked it?" Piper asked as she stood in the doorway. Alex looked up from the book, looking a bit like she was caught in the act of something, but seemed to quickly shake it off and fixed her glasses that had slid down her nose a bit.

"Yeah." She closed the book and put it on the coffee table and just looked at the blonde.

"We should wait in the kitchen for the pizzas to arrive, it's closer to the front door." Piper said as she waited for the other to join her.

"Oh, I forgot. Do you want to take a shower? If so, I put some clothes on my bed if you want to change out of the ones you're wearing. We could wash yours as well." Piper said as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"Sure." Alex said as she quietly made her way upstairs to the blondes room.

Piper took up her phone and opened the Candy Crush app to have something to do while she waited for the other to join her again. As she selected a level and started to play, her surroundings were blurred out and she became more engrossed in the game.

She cursed loudly as she realized she had missed a chance to make a bomb candy and totally missed the fact that the raven-haired girl just sat down in the chair opposite to her.

"No luck?" The other girl asked, causing Piper to snap out of her little game world and blush as Alex must've heard her foul words of frustration.

"No, not really." She said and looked down on her phone again, this time to close the game and pocket the device. A silence settled between them, but it was cut short by the door bell and Piper got up fast to get the pizzas.

When she got back with the warm boxes, she set them on the table and was about to grab some plates when Alex interrupted her.

"Um, could I borrow your phone?" Alex said and fiddled with her nails. Piper frowned, not knowing what the other would do with it. It wasn't that she didn't trust the raven-haired girl. If she had been a thief she would've left already with something more valuable than her phone. It was just that she was kind of curious about what she would do with it.

"Sure." Piper said warily and picked it up out of her pocket and passed it to the other girl. She saw that Alex typed away fast and was soon done with whatever she did and gave it back to Piper.

"I um... Sent a text to my mom. Read it if you want." Alex said as she looked down at her fingers again.

Piper was actually dying to know what she wrote so she opened her message app and found the newest message there.

"_I__'m fine and safe, don't come look for me, but don't expect me to come home anytime soon._" Piper didn't know how to react so she just locked her phone again and stared at Alex, who was still fascinated by her nails.

"So um, you can stay another night if you want to." She saw that Alex shifted a bit in her seat and sensed that she would protest, so before the other girl got the chance to, Piper cut her off.

"I actually would like if you stayed. It's nice with good company." Piper blurted out, blushing a little at what she said. Alex just looked at her and a tiny smile formed her lips as she nodded slowly.

"Okay, then." Piper smiled as the raven-haired girl accepted her offer without a fight. The stared at each other for a moment before an idea popped into Piper's head.

"So... Do you um, want to maybe... play a drinking game? I have some vodka hidden and we could make drinks and just have fun, you know?" Piper asked as she resumed her quest for plates and reached for them in the cupboard. She was glad that she had her back turned towards the other girl since she wasn't sure how her proposal would be received. As much as Alex looked like she was cool with alcohol, looks could be deceiving. It could turn out that the raven-haired girl had bad experiences were the intoxicant was involved and would take the proposal badly.

"Sounds like my kind of party." She heard Alex say as she turned around with the plates in hand. The other girl had a smirk plastered on her face. It looked so natural that Piper wasn't really shocked to see this new emotion, but it was good to see something else than the tentative little smiles. Alex had such a strong aura around her that it didn't suit her in a way to be shy and tip toe around. That aura had been the first thing Piper had noticed about the other girl. Even if she looked rough standing there in the bedroom on the first night, she could tell that Alex carried herself in a way which communicated that she was a strong soul. As the thoughts about the other girl swirled through her mind, she got closer to the table and put the plates down on. Completely lost in her own mind, she hadn't realized that the other girl followed her every step.

"Didn't take you for being a little rebel that would keep vodka hidden." The raven-haired girl's words cut her out of the thoughts and she felt herself blush again. At that moment, her position couldn't hide her colored cheeks and Alex's smirk seemed to grow from the sight of her slightly flustered appearance.

"Well... There are a lot of things you don't know about me." Piper said as she smiled secretively and for the first time ever, she heard the other girl laugh. It was rich, deep and full of life. The sound wasn't loud or intruding, but just simply beautiful, a word Piper never thought she would use to describe a laughter. The blonde couldn't help herself as she also joined in on the laugh, but didn't want to over shadow the other so she just chuckled.

"I'm sure there are." Alex said as both of their laughs subsided and there was a new glint in her eyes.

Something Piper couldn't quite decipher, but even so, she found that it caught her interest in a way that was rare. It was captivating seeing the other girl bloom out of her shell even more.

When she entered her room to grab the vodka, she replayed the other girl's laugh in her head and also how the tone of her voice had been different when she spoke. Unwillingly, a smile started to grow on her lips when she reheard the sound in her mind and in her stomach, butterflies flew around in formations, conveying a message she couldn't quite understand yet. Or she just wasn't ready to understand.

Reaching under her bed to grab the hidden bottle, her smile didn't falter. Neither did it fall from her lips when she walked down with her little treasure happily joining the other girl in the living room, where she had placed one of the pizza boxes and plates. It seemed to grow even wider when she met the eyes of the raven-haired girl and the butterflies returned even stronger than before. They held each other's gaze for a moment, not moving an inch. It was only when Alex smirked that Piper found her way out of her slight paralyze and fully entered the room, almost a little giddy with excitement to get to know Alex on a more personal level. For the drinking game she had planned for them to partake in, seemed to always relay peoples inner most secrets and fantasies.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **I just wanted to give you guys a little heads up, I have to delay this a bit. School is getting a bit crazy and I've had a hard time writing this lately. It's a hard text to write at the moment. But I think this chapter will make up for the upcoming update delay. Sorry about it, but yeah school is important to me.

Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites. They mean everything to me. Thank you.

Thanks for reading. Love always. 

_**Never have I ever**_

They sat down in the living room, plates filled with pizza slices and newly mixed drinks that consisted of vodka and Sprite.

"So, have you played Never have I ever?" Piper asked as she took a nibble of the pizza slice in her hand.

"A game as old as time itself. It never gets old. I'm in." Alex said as she also grabbed a slice, but didn't let her gaze fall from Piper's eyes. The glint that had emerged in the kitchen was there again. It seemed to be stronger though. Maybe it was enhanced by the still present smirk on Alex's lips.

"Well then, let the game begin." Piper said with glee as she put down the pizza and took up her glass.

"Never have I ever... skipped a class." Piper said as she waited to see if the other would drink. It was quite an innocent question, but she figured she would start easy as to not freak the other out.

She slowly raised her own glass at the same time Alex did and they both took a sip of the drink.

"Well, well, well. Aren't you full of surprises? Drinking _and_ skipping class? Never took you for that kind of girl." Alex drawled as she put her glass down, her green orbs never leaving Pipers blue ones. For what would be the umpteenth time that evening, she felt her cheeks getting hotter.

"I'm not really a... bad girl. It happened once, when I had a rough day. So... I went home a little earlier with a faked case of cramps." Piper said as she dropped her gaze to place the drink down. She heard Alex chuckle at her little story.

"What about you? " The blonde said as her eyes slowly made their way up to met the other's again.

"Well, school isn't really my thing. Too boring and I have to share space with a bunch of complete idiots every day." Piper nodded lightly at the statement as she could relate a bit to what Alex had said. There were definitely more people in school that she couldn't tolerate than there were people she could. A silence grew around them as Alex pondered on the next question and they both continued to devour the food in front of them.

"Never have I ever... gone in public without a bra." Piper didn't know why she blushed when she raised her glass to her mouth to take the punishment the game was built around. Alex chuckled as she watched Piper drink.

"What? Have you never done that?" The blonde asked a bit chocked.

"No, not really, I mean when I was a kid sure, but not since these two started to show." Alex said and arched one eyebrow at the blonde before her gaze fell to the body parts that was referred to. It was the first time she really took her time to observe the swell of the other's chest. Well, they are big, Piper thought as her gaze was still busy taking in the cleavage that the tank top offered. She had let the raven-haired girl borrow a black tank top and some ripped jeans she thought the other could fit in. It was Piper's only jeans she thought the raven-haired girl's rich figure could fit in. She didn't want to offer the other girl yet another pair of sweatpants, she thought that it would be nice for the other to wear something that actually felt quite normal to hang out in. The blonde had also offered the other a sweatshirt to borrow, but she seemed to have felt comfortable enough to just sport the skin tight tank top.

Before she could further analyze how the clothes fit Alex's body, the other girl cleared her throat and Piper quickly returned her gaze to the other's with her cheeks growing warmer and redder when she fully grasped what she had been doing.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry..." Piper said down to the couch, not having the guts to maintain eye contact even if she could hear Alex's deep chuckle.

"It's okay, kid. Your turn." Alex said which caused Piper to find enough courage to meet the other's gaze again. She didn't know how, but the raven-haired girl still had that smirk on her lips, even if Piper had taken the liberty to stare at her breasts. Did she like that she had looked? Shouldn't she be appalled or at least... a little offended by the blondes action? As it seemed though, Alex was highly amused by the situation so Piper snapped out of the embarrassment and thought out what next question she would ask.

As the evening grew older, the questions became raunchier and bolder and more than one glass of the alcoholic beverage had been consumed. Piper could feel the buzz that the intoxicant caused as she tried hard to come up with something she could ask the other. They had already asked things like, if they had ever kissed someone, had sex with someone, but they hadn't gone into deeper details of that specific topic yet. Slowly the dutch courage that had been building during the evening finally reared it's head to the fullest when both of them put down their glass on the table again, having answered the question if they had ever woken up drunk the day after a party.

During the game her gaze had began to wander elsewhere than the other girls eyes, but never again to her bust. She didn't want to get caught again as she couldn't stand to face another wave of humiliation. It was in fact quite rude to stare at someone else's chest. But she had begun to really study the other girl and once again she was struck by how beautiful she was.

"Never have I ever kissed a girl." Piper asked after having considered her options for a while. They had already crossed off topics like that, but the blonde realized that neither of them had been gender specific about their questions. It made Piper wonder if Alex had done it on purpose just to maker her drink more or if she just didn't want to reveal it yet. When the other girl heard the questions, she raised one of her eyebrows in a challenge as she raised the glass and took a large gulp, never breaking eye contact with the blonde.

"Really? So, you've never kissed a girl, huh?" Alex asked, a sleek eyebrow still perked in challenge or maybe it was curiosity, Piper couldn't really tell in her half hazy state of mind.

Alex got up from her position on the couch and Piper feared that she had said something that might offend the other, but to her relief the other girl just came closer to her, _much_ closer. She felt the raven-haired girl's soft thigh touch hers as Alex relaxed against the cushions. The feeling of relief was short lived as Alex turned her head to Piper and that's when she really understood just how close they sat. Their faces a few inches from each others. She held her breath as her heart stopped upon the realization that she could feel Alex's soft breath hitting her face.

"Never have I ever thought about kissing a girl." Alex asked in her deep voice, which had been lowered significantly since she got closer to the blonde. That time, Piper didn't bother raising her glass to her lips as there wasn't enough space between them to fit it.

"Yeah." Piper breathed out not being able to do much else in the presence of the other girl. As the seconds ticked away, she got to study Alex's face. The scrapes were still noticeable, but they had begun to close up a little more and the bruise had a slightly stronger color, meaning it would soon begin to fade and heal. Even with all the wounds, the girl in front of her was still mesmerizing in a way that Piper had never before experienced. Not being able to deny it anymore, she glanced at Alex's lips. Taking in their form, color and how her tongue wet them slowly and Piper found herself mirroring the action unconsciously. Alex smirked and leaned in a bit closer, their lips barely touching and the blonde had to fight to keep her eyes open. Feeling more drunk than before, her heart sped up and her body tensed as if she was bracing for a huge impact, but before the anticipated contact was initiated, soft words were spoken from the other girl.

"Is this okay?" Piper could feel the words on her own lips and was just able to nod slowly. She wasn't sure when she felt the surge to kiss the other girl. It wasn't like she had planned it when she had suggested that they should play a drinking game, but at the same time she wouldn't mind kissing the raven-haired girl. During the game she had discovered that Alex was quite the sexual being. She seemed to be so experienced and comfortable talking about it and even if Piper wasn't an innocent girl she couldn't say that she had done and experienced all the things Alex said she had. It wasn't just what she said that told Piper that she radiated sex, it was her whole being glowing with confidence and that sort of appeal, if one put aside all the tragic things that had happened to Alex. Piper still hadn't gotten the whole story about it, but she found herself getting more patient the more the two of them hung out. Another thing she found was that she cared more and more about the girl in front of her. Well, she had cared for her from the beginning, but it kept getting stronger and she wished that the two of them could stay in their little bubble forever. Getting to know each other better without the outside world that would eventually come crashing down and maybe put a barrier between the two of them.

She pushed all those thoughts away as she felt herself longing for the smooth skin in front of her. It was a long time since she had kissed someone and she had secretly always wondered what it was like to kiss a girl. It wasn't just the song "_I kissed a girl" _ by Katy Perry that had made her wonder. She guessed she had always been like that. Looking at girls the way she would with boys, but since neither of her friends had ever talked about it, she had never brought it up. Not feeling like it was something that she should talk about.

"Are you sure?" Yet again, she could feel the words on her skin and opened her eyes to meet the spring green ones. If they had been playful a minute ago there was no trace of that lingering in the other girls eyes anymore. That went for the atmosphere in the room as well. The fun and games were gone and replaced with a seriousness that floated around in the air and Alex's eyes matched that feeling, like she was the one who brought it with her. In a sense she had and Piper was grateful for it. Grateful that she got the chance to really think if she wanted to or not. She guessed that was why it was so easy to decide that she actually wanted to, really wanted to.

"Yes." Piper all but breathed out, tired of waiting and bracing for the impact of their lips. She got to wait for a few more seconds as Alex studied her eyes carefully. Slowly, but at the same time all at once, their lips collided softly and Piper gave up the battle once again to keep her eyes open as the feeling of the other girls lips consumed her. They were still for a couple of seconds before Alex softly moved her lips and Piper finally released the breath she was holding and leaned in for more, moving together with Alex.

The raven-haired girl's lips were so soft and tender and the way that they moved made Piper feel like she was cradled. Taken care of. It was like falling into a pit of foam. So soft it felt like those lips could melt her away, take her to another world and so easily forget all that was around her. She could feel a soft hand on her cheek. The warmth from the palm was comforting as well, but there was more than just warmth and comfort in the kiss. It was electrifying. The sort that made the body burn for more. Her body had completely taken over, leading her hand to thread in the ever so soft locks of the raven hair. Her fingers tangling in the soft strands, unconsciously pulling Alex closer by letting her hand wander there. The heart beats kept getting stronger and faster and she had a hard time keeping a steady breath as the kiss continued to grow. Piper couldn't believe that it was possible for it to become more than it already was, but as the seconds grew older, the kiss grew newer. As if there was a life time of things to explore and it would never end. She was glad they sat down, she didn't know if she would've been able to stand up through the kiss. Alex got closer as well, as she placed a hand on the blondes hips.

When she felt the other's seeking hand, she couldn't keep it in any longer. She needed to let it out in order to keep her head leveled. It wasn't something she could control, the soft moan just escaped so naturally, spawned by the other set of lips.

Soon after, they broke the kiss, Piper panting and Alex doing a valiant attempt to hide her heavy breaths as well. They leaned out of each other's personal spaces a bit to study the other. To make sense of the massive shift that had just occurred. Neither said something for a while, until Alex cleared her throat and adjusted her glasses.

"I hope I didn't overstep or something." She said, looking hesitant. It was fascinating how quick the raven-haired girl could shift from the cocky, self confident persona to being shy and almost looking sorry for breathing. Piper was still a bit lost for words as she could still feel her lips tingling from the kiss. Never had she experienced something quite so powerful, nothing could compare to what Alex's lips had just done to her.

"No. That was... wow." Piper stuttered, blushing a little when her voice came out a little bit hoarser than she had anticipated. She had literally been rendered speechless by the raven-haired girl. Like she knew how to steal words with just her lips.

Alex smiled as their gazes met again, but neither of them was sure how they should continue. The kiss was the first more personal contact that they had ever had, besides from holding hands the first day and Piper's comforting embraces. Piper got the feeling that it would be a little complicated, but she would be damned if she didn't get to feel those lips against hers again.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** So this was a struggle... Thank god I have my fantastic beta reader that can bear with me. Without her this would not be as good as it is. She did a freaking horse job correcting what this was before. So cred to my wonderful friend for bearing with my crazy, scatterbrained, weird mind! She's the best.

And to you all, you're the best readers ever. Thank you.

Thanks for reading. Love Always.

_**Different kind of storms**_

They continued to study each other for a while, before Alex broke the stare to finish up her drink and mix a new one. It was a huge relief to Piper that the other girl didn't want to end their night yet since she didn't either. The blonde also mixed a new drink, even though she could hear that faint voice in her head that told her that maybe that wouldn't be such a good idea, but she didn't care. If drinking another drink meant that she got to spend more time with Alex under pretty innocent circumstances, she would gladly do it.

As she took a little sip to try out the new concoction, she thought that it would be really hard to forget about the kiss. She wonder how a second or third kiss would feel like and couldn't fight how her lips twitched into a faint smile.

Even if it was a bit stiff at first, both of them feeling the after effects of the earlier event and what it could possibly mean, they continued with the game and had as fun as before. The questions generating more discussions than before. It was a bit obvious that they both avoided the more juicy questions, but even so, it was fun to continue playing.

After some time, Piper could feel how much the alcohol had taken to her brain and stated that they should really go to bed. Alex nodded and helped to clean up.

When they made their way upstairs, Piper didn't even reflect on the fact that she reached out and took Alex's hand. She couldn't explain why she did it, but blamed it on the need for balance as her legs always got a little wobbly after a few drinks.

Another thing Piper didn't think about; she lead them both to her own room. As they entered the room, she released the raven-haired girl's hand, almost like she had forgotten that she ever held it. She began undressing out of habit, tossing clothes haphazardly onto the floor, totally oblivious that Alex was standing in the doorway.

Instead of crashing onto the bed immediately, she put on a tank top. She turned around and saw the raven-haired teenager standing awkwardly in the doorway. The blonde paused, but the alcohol in her system made her forget all about modesty. She retreated under the covers of the bed, watching as Alex shifted on her feet. The other looked like she considered leaving the room, something Piper was completely oppose.

"Don't leave me." She said and made grabby hands towards the other teenager. Alex chuckled lightly and walked up to the bed, much to Piper's relief.

"You know, we should probably brush our teeth." Alex said, towering over the bed. Piper frowned, not wanting to get up from the warmth of the covers. It was childish, but she didn't allow herself to care that it was at that moment. Something that came across her mind when she laid under the covers, waiting for the other to speak, was just how normal it felt. Like everything that had played out during the evening was how it was supposed to be. Maybe not the whole drunken part, but just being around the other girl.

"Come on, it'll be worth it." Alex said as she reached out a hand to help Piper out of the bed. At first, Piper groaned and covered her face with the sheets, still playing the child role. She could hear the other girl chuckle again and that was what made her peek out from the soft shield she had taken cover beneath.

Her drunken vision may have betrayed her, but at that moment, Alex was so beautiful, so unguarded and just so... Piper couldn't find the word for it, but it struck a cord in her, like her heart skipped a beat at the same time as clenching together from the sight. She guessed that the sound erupting from the other was what made it so perfect. The raspy voice combined with that form of laughter, was just a match made in heaven. Piper knew she would never have described it with such strong words if she had been sober, but what was it that people said? The most honest people in the world are kids and drunk people. As she belonged to the latter group, she knew that what she thought was the truth, but even so, it was hard to admit the truth to herself.

Shaking off the thoughts, she took the hand that was offered to her, still a bit transfixed by the other girl's presence. She had not forgotten how those lips felt against her own. It was the closest thing to magic she would ever come. That feeling was something she would take to her grave, how good it actually could feel to be kissed. She didn't know if Alex had felt the same, she hoped that she did as Piper felt the wish to kiss the other at least one more time.

After the tedious chore of brushing her teeth, as it feels when one has been tucked up good in a comfortable bed, Piper grasped Alex's hand again and lead her back to the room. Once more it wasn't a conscious decision, it just sort of happened. Alex didn't say anything about it either and quite frankly, the blonde was a bit lost in her alcohol drenched brain at that moment to event contemplate it. It was just such an innocent thing to do, it wasn't like a kiss when someone could actually feel intruded upon. Sure, holding hands could be intruding, but it was so much easier to just pull away a hand.

As she entered her room, she repeated her actions from before, letting the other's hand go and making her way underneath the covers. When she had settled, she looked over to Alex. She seemed a bit uncomfortable and awkward.

"Please, just sleep with me tonight." Piper whispered out, close to falling asleep. She cursed the alcohol for making her so sleepy and tired to clear her mind when she realized how her sentence would have sounded to someone with more alert ears than hers.

"Shit, I... I didn't mean to sleep with me, just, you know, sleep next to me. I hate having the bed all to myself when..." Piper weakly tried to defend herself. Though, she knew she had possibly tangled herself even further into a more complicated situation that needed a lot more explanation than her brain could cope with at the moment. For like the fifth time that evening, she felt relief at the way the raven-haired girl reacted, with a simple chuckle. It was just so easy and not at all dismissing.

"Please? There's enough room for the two of us in this bed..." Piper whispered, still not giving up on the idea of not sleeping alone.

"Um, okay. Are you sure?" Alex answered. It touched Piper to hear yet again that the raven-haired girl cared enough for her to ask for permission. The blonde only nodded and scooted closer to the wall to make room for the other body that would, hopefully, soon inhabit the bed. Alex undressed to the point of only having her tank top and underwear on before she slid beneath the covers. For a brief moment, she could feel the naked skin of Alex's long legs against her own, but it lasted merely a second as the other pulled away from the contact. Piper's heart sank a bit at that, but she understood it as well. Skin on skin was a much more scary kind of contact. Almost like the closer one got to touch someones heart, the scarier it got.

It didn't take long for the blonde to fall asleep, even if she could practically feel how the bed got a lot stiffer just from all the tension resting between them. She was too tired to care and just wished that Alex would be there when the morning came.

During the night, or what was left of it, Piper woke up on several separate occasions, but was able to fall asleep pretty quickly, never minding the other body that seemed to rest peacefully next to her. But the last time she woke up, something other than herself woke her. Alex sat up in the bed gasping loudly, breathing heavily and staring blankly ahead of her. Piper could still feel some of the alcohol lingering in her body, but felt disturbingly sober even so as she watched the other girl crashing back to reality.

"Hey, hey." Piper whispered and laid a hand on the other's girl's arm, feeling it tense under the touch, only to relax seconds after.

"Come back down." The blonde urged softly. Alex did as she was told and faced Piper.

"Another bad dream?"

"Yeah." Alex whispered back hoarsely, and closed her eyes for a moment. It was clear that she didn't shut them with the intent on going back to sleep, but merely to try and erase the images with the warm darkness that eyelids provided. Piper studied the face in front of her in the dusky light that the lingering dawn offered. It seemed that the storm had quieted down and that the clouds had become more see through. Piper couldn't be sure though, she only guessed as she didn't look out the window. However, even if the storm outside had calmed, the storm inside seemed to still be raging, the one that only Alex seemed to be captured in, but it seeped out of her skin like a rising fog from a scary movie. Pain and fear was most evident, smudging out anything else that might have been captured in the wild, raging whirlwind of emotions. There was so much more that lingered inside of it, but Piper didn't have the tools to read them as they were hidden beneath the most alarming of it all. If the outer shell were those two emotions, then what was hidden in the eye of it?

"I'm sorry. I wish I could make it better..." Piper whispered, aching to be able to do so. She tried desperately to grab at something that could make it better.

The soft words that left the blonde coaxed Alex's eyes open and momentarily interrupted Piper's search.

"You already have." It made Piper die inside. Not because she wasn't happy to hear that she had actually made it better for the raven-haired girl, but because she didn't feel like she had done anything. She had merely provided company for the other and a roof over her head, but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe that was all Alex needed, a safe haven because she didn't have one. Add that to the fact that the other girl looked beaten up. It made her heart beat achingly slow and hard. It felt like something was forcing tears out of her eyes, like her body needed to get it out, but she didn't want to cry in front of the other. She didn't feel like it was her sorrow to carry, but she really wanted to take it instead of letting the other carry it around. At least share it, so the raven-haired girl didn't have to be alone with it.

Piper felt lost and the only thing she could do, since she had no words to answer the other girl, was to grab Alex's hand and don't let her eyes waver from the other set. She could feel the gentle pressure from the other as well. Like they were sealing some unspoken oath. Of what, Piper wasn't sure of, but it was so much more than just a handshake or a comforting touch. She was sure that Alex could feel it too since the other's eyes swam with sincerity and a heavy seriousness that could rarely be seen in the light of day. It was the kind of seriousness that only the darkness of night could bring out. The kind that arose on all those countless nights spent with a best friend or a beloved one, sharing your inner most darkness. Feeling like the trust to the other consumed the whole room, your whole body, so much that it felt like one shared ones soul with the other participant. Where all the weights dragging ones body further down in to the dark sea of emotions one cannot control, disappeared for a short lived night. On those nights, nothing other then each others' than breaths existed and the slow murmur of words that filled the room. The world outside wasn't there anymore. It evaporated as soon as the door was closed and the night grew darker. It felt just like that and it scared Piper a bit to feel that. To feel like she had that kind of trust to the other when she hadn't even known her for a week. It didn't scare her enough to run, though. It may have been because she had seen the other girl so vulnerable and already there was a bond that had begun to be tied between them.

The silence still dressed the room as Piper let the waves of emotions run through her body. If the kiss had shifted their brief relationship, yet another shift came with their wordless exchange, a major one. Another thing she came to realize was that she was comfortable staring into Alex's eyes even though they didn't speak to each other. The raven-haired girl's eyes were like books. Wells of words and a story strong enough to be able to read, even if some pages were torn out, lost to Piper's eyes.

Even if she didn't want them to end it there, she felt sleep pulling her back in to its soft grasp. She tried to fight it even if she was powerless to do so. Piper just wanted to know one thing before she went back to sleep. Wanted to be reassured that the other would be okay even if she had just experienced something terrible in her sleep.

"Will you be able to fall asleep again?" Piper whispered after what felt like forever. It had taken some time to find her voice again. She could feel how her will to fight the tiredness faded, she wished she could resist, but the body always does as it wants.

"Yeah." Was the only soft reply she got as the world around her began to blur and meld with the ones of dreams. The last thought that was coherent was that Alex was always so short worded when it came to herself, but when she spoke about other things she loved or was passionate about, she could paint the whole world with her words.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN**: I am so, so sorry for the long wait, school left me barely breathing. I handle stress very, very badly, but now that it is over I hope that I'll have a little more time to write, but I got a job. Even so I'll still have more time than before to write so that's good.

Honestly though, I felt really disheartened by watching the third season. Idk, but yeah. I haven't really processed what I feel about it all. So I'll probably struggle through this story, **_but_** I will finish it.

Seriously though, thank you all so much for leaving a favorite, follow and review. It still means the world to me. Thank you all!

Thanks for reading. Love always.

**_The leaves are starting to fall_**

When she opened her eyes the next time, she was blinded by the light that seeped in through the window. It wasn't bright, but enough to sting in her eyes. It was enough for her to become fully awake and aware of just how hungover she was. The world was spinning inside her head and it throbbed painfully slow. She groaned loudly and dug her head deeper into the pillow as she rolled over on her stomach.

"So, you're a lightweight huh, kid?" Piper jumped as she heard the voice, but when she realized who the voice belonged to, she just groaned instead of answering in a coherent way and dug her head deeper into the pillow. It felt like it was too early to even comprehend anything else than the fact that she was hungover. Piper heard the other girl chuckle and a page being turned. That coaxed her attention, making her forget for a moment how she was feeling and rose up on her elbows to find out what the other girl was doing. Alex was sitting on the floor with a book in her lap that she was engrossed in.

"What are you reading?"

"The old man and the sea." Alex answered, never letting her eyes leave the worn out pages of the old little book.

"Isn't that a little sad this early in the morning?" Piper joked as she laid down again, facing the other girl.

"It's eleven. Besides, it's never too early for a classic." The older girl said without taking her eyes off of the pages. Piper bit her lip, thinking that she might have said something inappropriate since the other girl didn't even meet her gaze. The silence hung thick in the room for Piper, but Alex didn't move from her position and continued to read the pages for a moment before finally lifting her gaze.

"This book somehow calms me, if that makes sense." Alex said, before she put the book down and looked over to the window. Piper felt her head throb again, and had to close her eyes for a moment. She wished that she could shake off the hangover, but knew from experience that she would feel like shit the entire day. Even so, she made a valiant effort to swallow it down and give the raven-haired girl her undivided attention. Piper wanted to know if the other had been able to fall asleep again. It didn't seem like it, so she had to ask.

"Were you able to fall asleep again?" Piper asked as she opened her eyes again. She studied Alex for a moment since she didn't get an answer right away. She looked even worse than the previous day. The circles under her eyes were darker and bigger and the bruise had taken on an even stronger color. Even if Piper knew that it meant that it was healing, Alex looked so battered her heart was crushed by the sight.

"Um, no I couldn't. I went up after a while and got a book from your shelf. I hope that's okay." Alex said, turning her gaze down to the floor. Picking at small fibers in Piper's light gray carpet.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course." Piper frowned at Alex's somber state. It was so unlike the girl from before.

"You have a nice collection. I was happy to find this. I think it's my favorite." Alex said as she lifted up the book she had been reading, but didn't let her eyes meet Piper's.

"Thanks. I like it that one too." The blonde was able to get out. It was weird how Alex behaved. Was it just her dream that had her acting that way? Or was it something that she had said? Alex sighed heavily and put her glasses on the floor before she rubbed her tired eyes.

Then it dawned on Piper. It might have been the kiss. Instantly her stomach churned in fear. Had she hurt Alex by kissing her? Or had she crossed a line when she suggested that they should play a drinking game? Piper felt how her stomach shrunk and how it started to hurt with anxiety. She didn't want to push Alex away, that hadn't been her intentions. In fact, she never wanted the raven-haired girl to leave. The other girl just sat in front of her, still picking at the carpet as silent as ever, like she wanted to convey something with her silence. When did the mood shift like that? Why had it shifted? Piper wasn't sure and she couldn't bring herself to say a single word. All she wanted was for Alex to stay with her, not see her leave when her eyes were like shattered mirrors. Even if it was hard, she had to bring herself to say something.

"Alex, are you okay?" The raven-haired girl finally met her gaze, the green eyes looking like wet summer grass after a storm, crushed with defeat and staring blankly back at Piper. The pause that hung in the room was smothering and even if she asked, she knew the answer. She just wondered if she would actually get a pronounced answer. She did, but no more than in a hushed whisper and avoiding eyes.

"No."

Piper sat up in her bed. Her heart beating faster as she watched Alex bit her bottom lip hard. The blonde was sure that the other girl would soon be tasting the hard copper taste that was blood. What was there to say when she got the answer she least wanted to hear? It wasn't surprising, but still, Piper fell at loss with words as she watched Alex try and compose herself. Almost like answering that question had taken a toll on her. Like she had given up one of her biggest, darkest and scariest secrets. It was the saddest thing in the world to see the struggle Alex seemed to be going through.

"Hey, come here." Piper urged softly, as she sat fully up in her bed and slid down onto the floor where Alex sat. Her head still spinning, but this time she wasn't sure if it was because of what she witnessed in front of her or the left over alcohol in her body. Alex just stayed still, staring as hard as ever down on the floor. Piper got closer and tried to collect the raven-haired girl in an embrace, but Alex shuffled away from her and sighed shakily.

"It's okay. I guess I'm just tired." Alex said as a finality. Piper frowned, unsure of how to move forward with the conversation since she could practically see Alex closing up before her. She was getting desperate and didn't know why the raven-haired girl was withdrawing from her all of a sudden. Things had been so great the previous day when they had played that drinking game. They had even been laughing, but at that moment, it felt as far away as the first day of the summer.

Even if Piper knew that the kiss would cause a huge shift in their brief relationship, she had never in her drunken mind comprehended that it would end up where they were at that moment. As her mind sped up, so dangerously close to going into overdrive, she decided to spare herself from the unspoken tension.

"This is not because of the kiss, is it?" The blonde asked, regretting it immediately. It was out there, the fear that Piper was feeling. She would get her answer, whether she liked it or not. She gathered her last bit of confidence and raised her eyes to find the other girl's gaze fixed on hers. Alex studied Piper for a while with a guarded look, seemingly on a hunt for something that Piper wasn't entirely sure of.

"No. I'm just tired." Again, Piper knitted her eyebrows together, wondering why the girl suddenly decided to do an about-face. They had shared their fair share of things the previous day. Piper thought that Alex trusted her. Sure, she understood that some things were so hard that one couldn't speak about them, because once everything was out, it became true. But Piper wanted to know since it was so obviously hurting the other girl. It was the same thought she had been thinking about when they lay in bed. She wanted to take Alex's hurt away from her, to make it easier to bear.

"Come on, I know you're not telling me the whole story here. It's okay, I can be patient, but right now, I know you're not just tired. You said so yourself." Piper said as she remained in place to give the other girl her personal space.

When she got no reply, she sighed and looked down at her hands. It only seemed fair to Alex if she shared something personal. Even if it was only to gain her trust.

"I know from personal experience that hiding things and not telling them to someone isn't going to make it better or make them go away." Piper said. The silence in the room continued on, only being disturbed by the mild wind that kept stroking the facade of the house. It had also started to rain lightly. Its light patter on the roof calmed the silence and made it more bearable for Piper.

"You can tell me about it." Alex said and when the blonde looked up, she was met by the unshielded green eyes. They held each other's gazes for a moment before Piper shook her head.

"I can tell you later, but right now this is about you, Alex." Piper said, and looked back, willing her gaze to be as soft as possible. She guessed they were past the stage of dancing around each other. Alex bit her lip and looked away again.

"Don't you trust me?" Piper whispered. She hated herself for dealing out such a hard blow below the belt. Even worse was that she could see what her words did to Alex.

"It's not that. Sure, I trust you, it's just... I don't usually do this."

"Neither do I, but I think it's because I don't have anyone that listens. Do you have someone that listens to you?" She saw Alex disappear deep into her mind again, going back to biting her lip. Yet again, the blonde was worried that the raven-haired girl would actually bit through it and add another wound to her list of old ones.

"I said earlier that I was a good listener. I still am, you know." Piper said in a hushed voice, as not to startle the other completely out of her thoughts. She saw the other girl sigh in defeat, and look down into the carpet again, before she spoke in a low voice.

"I just don't want to go back there, but I have to. I can't leave my mom with him." Even though her head was pounding and it hurt more than she would want it to, she devoted her full attention to Alex. Her fast and hard beating heart didn't help her either, but she would be damned if she didn't push it away. Alex was more important than how she was feeling.

"I already feel... guilty for leaving her with him, but I guessed I just had to." Piper wanted to ask if he was the one that had hit her, but didn't want to prob Alex further or push too much when she had actually started to open up and _really_ tell her what had happened, or was starting to explain it. Piper guessed that the _he_ was her mother's boyfriend, the person she had talked about earlier.

"I'm so fucking scared that he... that he will do to her what he does... to me."

"What does he do to you...?" Piper whispered out. Her mouth was incredibly dry. She couldn't even remember that she was hungover any more. It was just Alex's words that made her sick to her stomach, not the left over alcohol causing the feeling anymore. What the fuck had that person done to Alex?

"Uhm, the... the bruises." Piper furrowed her eyebrows, not really understanding at first, but then she felt how the blood in her veins froze. She wasn't even aware that she held her breath, but could feel how her heart stopped beating, making it seem like the ice in her veins lowered her body temperature rapidly. She how her stomach clenched together as the reality of the raven-haired girl's words truly sunk in. _He hit her._ It couldn't have happened just once. If Alex was afraid of him doing it again and her running away from home had anything to say about that fact.

She sat speechless for a couple of minutes, not really having a clue what to actually say to the other. What was there to say?

"I'm so sorry, Alex." Piper whispered in such a soft voice she could only hope that the other girl heard her. She was not sure if she could actually move to be able to comfort the other girl. Having no control over her brain as it processed the new information, she couldn't stop it from going into overdrive, trying to tangle out and make sense of how to deal with it.

"Have you told your mother?" Alex only shook her head lightly.

"But what about the bruise? Haven't she noticed it? You said he'd done it before? How could she not notice?" Piper felt how she almost stared to ramble on, trying desperately to structure her own mind around the new information. She needed it all to make sense. That was the main reason she usually went on her rants. If she was nervous, stressed or just pressured into uncomfortable situations her mouth just went off. And the current situation was all those three things in one. But Alex had nothing to do with it. It wasn't her fault that that man was a horrible person, but Piper still needed it all to make sense. Needed to untangle it all in order to plan... something. She was unsure what to do, but she knew she had to make some kind of plan. Otherwise she would implode from all the feelings she didn't know how to handle. Luckily for her brain, Alex answered the question with a hollow voice that carried little emotions towards the subject, but if one listened closely, one could hear a smallness.

"She hasn't seen them. He doesn't usually hit me in the face. Unfortunately, he is kind of smart... but this time, something just snapped and well yeah, that's why I ran." Alex laughed quietly, sadness tainting the laugh, making it echo hollowly around the room's cream white walls, forcing Piper's heart to a stop once again. Closing her eyes hard, she tried to force the anger away. She hadn't even met the person and yet she hated him more than she would ever be able to explain to another person. When she opened her eyes again, she could see Alex, sitting in the dim light of the new autumn day, looking as hollow as broken egg shells. Every single thing the other girl had radiated the other day, was gone. Like dust swept away in the wind, like a grand fort after a hard war- Left in ruins to be showered by mother natures cruel hand. She was a shattered piece of that person Piper had met only hours ago.

Without another word, Piper embraced the raven-haired girl. Holding her tight, fighting back her own tears, trying to push away how much she hurt for the other girl.

Piper could feel Alex's steady breaths against her throat, feeling how they started to calm and how her body relaxed, little by little. Any other day, the blonde would've reveled in the feeling, it would've cradled her heart with warmth, but as the other girl slowly sank into her lap with her head, she had a hard time fighting off the helplessness that started to claw in her chest.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:** I am so, so, so sorry. I just had the worst writers block ever. I don't know why, but I couldn't write a single sentence, it just drained me and work has had me totally exhausted. I am sorry, but hopefully the next one isn't going to be as delayed as this. I am not giving up on this, no matter how hard it becomes to write it. _This will be a finished story._

Thank you for still following this and leaving your thoughts about it. It means a lot.

Okay, enough about me. Here you go! Happy reading and as always;

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Autumn air in your lungs**_

Piper couldn't tell how long she sat there, Alex's head in her lap, slowly stroking the raven hair. She was still stricken by what the raven-haired teenager had told her. Everything was made crystal clear with her confession, but that didn't help Piper one single bit. She scolded herself for thinking that it would. The situation at hand was far more complex and was out of her hands to handle. Moments like that, time stops to matter. The only thing that was going through Piper's head was how the fuck a person could go around and function normally with that kind of shit hanging over ones head. Sure, if one was able to look as closely as Piper had gotten the chance to, there were cracks to be seen; how damaged Alex really was and it broke her heart to see that. She didn't really understand either why the raven-haired girl had lied or made light of the situation in the first place. Was it because it made it easier to handle? Or maybe it just was because Alex didn't want to worry someone else with her problems? It sounded irrational, but was it really? Some people in the world just function that way. They believe that they will be a burden to others if they so much as confess to having a slight struggle or a big problem. And some people actually think that people with problems, who confesses them, _are_ a burden. Like Carol, her mother. Nothing could or would be broken in that woman's world. And even if something was broken, as long as no cracks were ever seen on the surface, then it wasn't broken and that was how the world was supposed to be, flawless. At the thought that people like her mother could cause people like Alex more pain, she felt that famous lump in her throat that she'd have to swallow down so many times in her life. It was getting sickening, and each time she had to force it down, it became harder to do so. Harder to ignore how much it hurt to put a lid on those tears that were aching to be set free. Even so, she tried, just because it was a habit. She tried to restructure her thoughts and how on earth she was to go about the situation. She didn't have time to cry if she was supposed to be the cliff in the situation.

Somewhere along the way, she had almost forgotten that something bad had brought the other girl to her. And even so, she guessed that she hadn't even comprehended for real that something like that could have happened. The thought _had_ hit her, but it was another thing to actually get it confirmed. It had shaken her foundation, cracked her view of the world in a totally different way than Alex had. The raven-haired girl had made her steer her thoughts into a new direction as how to perceive and view the world. Alex had showed her that there was a different way. But hearing what had actually happened, that it was a case of abuse, totally smashed that delightful bubble they had created over the past few days. And like a burnt down house; all the tiny ash flakes rained down around them, covering the ground like a dirty kind of snow, reminding Piper what had once been there, but no longer existed. There was still a bond between them, it hadn't gotten caught in the smothering flames, but it was different, at least to Piper it was.

Ever since Alex had uttered the truth, a sudden weight had been smashed down on her shoulders. Her wish had been granted. She carried Alex's burden, but she wasn't sure if she shared the weight with the other girl like she had so naively thought she could do. Even so, she wasn't mad for the extra load that had been given to her, but _fuck_ it was heavy.

She was actually glad that Alex was asleep at that moment since her mind was a raging mess. And she didn't want to be seen like that.

Piper only hoped that the exhaustion kept her from having another dream and that her silent panic wouldn't show through, unsettling the other girl. It was highly unlikely that her mindset would bother Alex, since she was sleeping, but still; the blonde fought hard to keep the panic from seeping out of her pores. She really didn't know how to face the situation. What was she supposed to do? She hated the helpless feeling that the panic brought with it, smothering every little calm that was left in her and disabled her from forming anything that would resemble a logical plan. She guessed that she had to ask Alex what she wanted her to do. Yes, that was what she was supposed to do. Ask the raven-haired girl what she could do to help her out. At first she felt kind of calm about her decision, but after a while she started to see the flaws in it. Alex wouldn't want her help and it would have nothing to do with a lack trust between them.

When Alex finally woke up, she looked so raw, like Piper had peeled away all the layers that were Alex, like she had finally reached the bottom of a deep, deep well. She could finally see what hid down there. Digging all the tiny pieces that were Alex up from the sand to study them individually. Starting to slowly understand them. Understand how all the different pieces worked together and how they didn't work.

Piper had had the time to really analyze their whole interaction from a different light during the time Alex was asleep. Once she finally let go of the thoughts of what she could do, because she simply didn't know what could be done, she started to wonder if there was something that could have told her beforehand that Alex had suffered from abuse at home. First off was the most obvious one; the first flinch when she had reached out her hand to Alex. The other more obvious thing was that the other girl always avoided talking about herself on a deeper level. Sure, she shared what she believed and what she loved, but not much more than that. That didn't necessarily mean something, though. No one tells a complete stranger what one feels deep down inside. After that, everything was a bit more subtle, like the nightmares, that could be the cause of anything.

Piper swiped some hair out off Alex's face when she was a bit more awake. When the hair was swept aside, she saw that the other girl didn't' have her glasses on and remembered that she took them off so the other girl could sleep without discomfort.

"Here, I took your glasses. It looked kind of uncomfortable to keep them on when you fell asleep. So I took them, if that was okay." Alex nodded and accepted them back as she sat up again and stretched her back to get rid off all the stiffness that her position of sleeping had caused. Her movements suddenly stopped as if she realized something. Piper could almost see the gears in her head working frenetically to try and come up with a way out of the situation. At that, the blonde could also feel her panic start to rear its head, because she didn't know what to say to make things less awkward or just less tense.

"So, um. Do you want something to eat? I'm kind of hungry and there's still some pizza left so we could eat that if you want." Piper stopped herself before her panicked nervousness around the situation got the best of her and ultimately Alex. Since the raven-haired girl wasn't facing her, she couldn't see her facial expression, but she hoped that she was as relieved as Piper when she nodded her head in acceptance.

So Piper took them to the kitchen to try and eat something. Even if she had no apatite at all and Alex still looked like she hadn't slept for a week. That little power nap she took didn't seem to have done its job.

Piper made them both large mugs of green chai tea, even if it was weird to drink with the pizza, but it had always helped her when she was in the need of comfort. She took the mugs into the living room. The big window in the kitchen showed an almost clear sky with a cold sun shining and honestly she couldn't even be bothered with the weather. Any other day she would've thought it was lovely, but that felt so foreign to think about that she just wanted to crawl away to a darker corner of the house and stew in all of her feelings to make them a bit more comfortable to feel.

She started the TV and took a small bite of a pizza slice, not even feeling the taste of it. Piper still hadn't quite made peace with the idea of doing nothing to help Alex. Even so, she couldn't for the life of her figure out what would snap her out of the apathy she was a prisoner to.

She stole a glance over at Alex and saw that she seemed to be stuck on the same page. She was also just taking small bites of the pizza, starring blindly ahead of her.

Piper gave up on the food and instead brought the big mug to her mouth and took a hesitant sip of it as not to burn her tongue out. Instantly she felt the tea's warmth spread through her and how the spices in it gave her warmth as well. They sat like that for a moment, Alex trying to eat and Piper sipping on the warm beverage. As time went on, the blonde felt how it calmed her down more and more.

After a while, she felt courageous enough to break the dead silence with a proposal that would hopefully bring them back to where they had been the day before. She thought that Alex would actually like what she was about to ask.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?" Piper asked, turning around to face Alex, who was taking a large sip of the tea, also looking a bit calmer and a bit more alive. The raven-haired girl finished her sip and put the large green porcelain mug on the table before she turned to Piper and for the first time that day she spoke up.

"Sure, sounds good." Alex said and stood up from the couch. The blonde exhaled quietly and mimicked the motion, glad that the other girl actually accepted the offer. She didn't think she could stand a minute more inside the house that seemed to grow smaller every second. It felt too infested with reality and how harsh it could actually be. Piper thought that she might be more like her mother than she would ever like to admit. Loving to live oblivious to bitter truths that she didn't have the tools to handle. She liked _her_ reality, inside of her own bubble. It wasn't so complicated to navigate the waters inside of it. There was always a quite well lit path inside of it that she could walk down even if she was troubled. There was always a way out of it. At that moment, she was so far outside of the bubble and it felt too cold and unfamiliar. And that hurt to feel too, because she cared so deeply for Alex and she didn't want to be so selfish about it.

Piper went upstairs to find them some clothes. The clothes that the raven-haired girl had arrived in were clean and dry so she handed them back to Alex again before they headed outside into the cold autumn afternoon.

It was actually colder than the blonde would've thought, but it felt so refreshing to be outside and to have the cold remind her of how alive she really was. She was glad that she had taken her beanie and her knitted woolen muffler that kept her protected from the brisk weather.

She almost felt like a little school girl having an idol crush on someone significantly older as she looked over at Alex. Piper couldn't help but describe her as the picture of cool as Alex walked in her black leather jacket, black converse shoes, black skinny jeans and a black plain t-shirt. Piper was thankful that the cold hid her blush as Alex looked over to her wondering eyes and smirked weakly as if she could read her mind.

The autumn sun did nothing to warm them up. Instead it just gave that crisp sheen to their surroundings, almost like someone had put a slightly blue filter over her eyes.

Piper lead their way, starting to unknowingly walk to one of her favorite places on earth. There was a little park about seven minutes away from the blondes house and she just loved to walk in it.

After walking for about five minutes, their shoulders brushing up against each other's occasionally and fingers subtly reaching out from time to time. Piper took a really deep breath and held it as she closed her eyes and searched determinedly for Alex's hand, grasping it when she found it. She waited for the subtraction, a reaction from the raven-haired girl to separate herself from Piper. Instead, Alex intertwined her fingers with Piper's and squeezed the blonde's hand firmly. The blonde opened her eyes and first, it landed on their linked hands and then on the raven-haired girl's face to see her gazing onto her. During the time they had been walking, nothing had been said about anything really, but at the same time a lot of the previous tension had disappeared from the both of them. Even more so when their hands touched. Piper took so much comfort in that little contact and she could see that Alex did as well. It was so nice to feel and it kind of felt like some of the weights were lifted off of her shoulders. So she couldn't help the small little smile that crept up on her lips and how her cheeks grew just a little hotter and that seemed to boost a smile, which was more of a smirk, on Alex's plump lips as well.

They were just about to walk into the park when a car turned into the street they were walking on. The engine almost roaring even though it had such a low speed. Its sound echoing down the empty street making both of the girls turn their heads. The car had a bleached baby blue-greenish color, riding low, a couple of inches above the gray asphalt it was riding on. The car was big and boxy, having a wide grill and stretching out long and proud behind the headlights.

Piper found herself almost mesmerized by it, not because it was beautiful, but it looked like it was a classic icon of an old and faded out American era. She could clearly picture that proud period of time, when those kind of cars gracefully sailed down streets like the one they were walking on.

As it came a little bit closer, Piper could see a silhouette of the driver, who seemed to be quite a big grown man, with broad shoulders and a bald head. The blonde didn't get to further analyze how the driver looked, since she heard Alex mutter out several breathy _fuck__'_s and tugged on Piper's hand sharply. Before she could question what was wrong, the raven-haired girl was almost dragging her into a sprinting pace.

"Alex, what the fuck?" She was able to get out between managing to get her limbs and brain to coordinate themselves into something that would resemble a running motion.

"It's him!" Alex breathed out, sounding utterly terrified and just as that was said, Piper heard the car accelerate and a deep menacing voice shout in the distance.

"Get back here, you piece of shit or you'll be sorry!" The voice shouted and confirmed the raven-haired girls exclaim. It turned Piper's blood into ice and she could feel the adrenaline run out into her veins and she pushed herself to run faster. She barley had the time to focus her eyes on the ground in front of her as she could hear a car door slam shut and heavy thuds starting to chase them.

The cold air rushed into her lungs in big and chunky bits, burning her throat as her feet flew over the ground trying to get as far away from the man as possible. Alex was a little bit ahead of her, but their hands were still interlocked and the raven-haired girl acted as some kind of compass; steering them into a direction of her choice. Something that Piper prayed would be considered safe enough for them to escape Alex's abuser.

They crashed down behind a large rock, stilling and trying as silently as possible to get their breath back. It hurt everywhere and her lungs were on fire from the oxygen deprivation since she couldn't so greedily gulp the air into her lungs. If she did he would find them. As if that wasn't enough, Piper was convinced that her heart beat would give them away since it slammed against her chest and ear drums. Alex had a wild expression born from pure fear and she was also trying hard to be silent, but she kept looking around, shaking like a scared rabbit, surely searching for any sign that the man was hot on their trails. Piper couldn't hear anything, courtesy of her loud heart, and was as scared as the raven-haired girl was that they would be found.

A couple of minutes later her breath had evened out a bit and she could finally hear again; how dead leaves were ruffled around on the ground and how the trees creaked from the cold wind that stroked against their naked branches. A part from that, nothing else than the forest was heard around them. That didn't make the fear go away, though. It was still running deeply inside of her, scarring her veins in a way that Piper wasn't even aware was possible. Was this the kind of threat that Alex lived with on a daily basis? Or was this just the horrible consequence that her running away had set in motion? Either way, Alex was living in a much real hell. A hell she couldn't possibly return to. Piper couldn't allow that to happen. Not if she wanted to live a life in peace with a clear conscience. The blonde paused her thoughts. No, fuck her conscience, Piper thought. She couldn't allow Alex to go back there, because Piper really, really cared about her and would do anything to see her _alive_ and well. The word _alive_ rang an enormous warning bell in the blondes head. Maybe if Alex went back there and Piper did nothing to stop or help her with the situation, she wouldn't make it out of there _alive._

"You-You're not going back there." Piper whispered out so quietly that she wasn't really sure that Alex could hear her. Panic and fear morphing her hushed voice to sound shrill and small. She sounded utterly helpless.

"I have to." Alex answered back in the same volume almost with the same hint of feelings in it.

"No, fucking way, Alex. Were going to the police." She was getting angry and fought hard to keep her voice down. There was no way that she was letting the other girl go back there. Piper had no real clue what could happen if she did, but she knew it would result in something really, really bad. Something she wasn't prepared to put to the test.

"No. I have to go back. I have to protect my mom..." Alex's voice was shaky and on the verge of breaking.

"Alex, she's and adult and..." Piper didn't get any further as the raven-haired girl interrupted her.

"No, I don't have a choice. It'll only get worse if I don't go back there now." Slowly, Piper felt tears making their presence known and her eyes were Alex's mirror.

"No, no, no..." Piper whispered out and squeezed the raven-haired girl's hand harder, that she still hadn't let go of, willing the other girl to stay. The weights that had previously been lifted off her shoulders returned with more force than ever, slowly pressing her deeper down through the soft ground beneath her aching feet.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:** I am sorry for the delay yet again. I really suck a writing at a fast pace. I hope you all can stand the waiting. I'm not happy how this turned out. The direction of the story is going as I want to, I just don't feel good about how I captured it... It's a hot mess. I guess my lack of inspiration has something to do with it. Ahwell...

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Don't say goodbye, it tastes so bad**_

They waited until the darkness clung to them like a sticky mat, the frost beginning to cover the ground like a fog rolling in over a calm lake, the dead leaves crunching under their feet when they emerged from the rock they'd been hiding behind. Their breaths visible as it slowly ascended higher up in the raw atmosphere.

There was no urgency in their steps when they made their way back to... somewhere. The fear of the man still being present was chased away by the passing minutes that turned into an hour or two. Neither one of them was really sure where to go, so Piper acted like the compass that time since she had lead Alex to the park in the first place.

Piper clung to Alex's hand, convincing herself that the contact would make the other teen stay and not go back to her mother. It was of course naïve to think that, but that was all Piper could do when exhaustion started to creep over her, when the adrenaline wasn't there to feed her energy. At that moment, more than ever, her mind was a swirling mess. She was in despair, numb from just the clinging and suffocating feeling of it. How could she even begin to process the chase? Would she be a target for something since she had been seen with the raven-haired girl? What would Alex be "welcomed" home with? Worse fists and harsher words? Would she tell her mother? It was all questions and no answers in her brain and scenarios brought to vivid life by them. Every time a new thought hit her, her pulse sped up and her whole body tensed up as if it would actually happen. And she couldn't for the life of her understand how she had the energy to feed the scenarios. She didn't understand how she didn't just collapse then and there on the ground with the lack of energy she felt. Maybe it was the raven-haired girl that kept her from completely giving up. She kept telling herself that Alex needed her. She had to be strong, because she wasn't the one who was having a hard time. She wasn't the one who had a shitty situation at home. Alex was the one who needed someone. She needed to fight on her bloody knees for Alex and it didn't matter that she couldn't cope. She just had to. It gave Piper a sliver of energy, enough to at least not completely drop dead down on the ground.

It had taken some time, but eventually Alex had stopped shaking like a frightened animal. It was like she had broken the surface of an icy lake and was able to breathe again, but the state she entered wasn't more preferable. It was a silent surrender. A resignation from her rebellion, forcing her to abandon her new found safe haven. She was giving up something that had been good.

As their heavy feet hit the ground, she could feel the subtle squeezes from Alex's hand. As if she was reassuring herself that the blonde was still there by her side. Piper felt that she needed that; like she was some use to the raven-haired girl, even in her numb and slightly apathetic state of mind. It felt like it was the only thing she could do to help Alex. Piper guessed that that was as the only comforting feeling she was getting at that moment. Immediately, she hated herself for thinking about her own contentment instead of Alex's.

When they got out of the park, some kind of energy seemed to shift. Piper wasn't the compass anymore; the raven-haired girl took over the position of the navigator, walking a step ahead of Piper. It was like Alex realized that she had to take the lead because Piper couldn't lead them to their inevitable parting. The unfairness of the situation hung heavy on her shoulders and she felt like something was putting pressure on her chest. She was supposed to be the rock. It was Alex who was supposed to cling to her, depending on Piper to lead her to safety, not the other way around. But once they got to the house, it would only be a matter of time before the other would leave and Piper just couldn't bare that thought, no matter how much energy she would have. She didn't want to reach the end of their time together and Alex's words from earlier, which still rung loudly in her ears, told Piper that she had already made up her mind about returning home.

Even if she was numb, a chest constricting thought flooded her paralyzed emotion system as she saw the front porch of her house. Maybe this was the only place Alex had felt really safe in for a long time. And she was about to walk away from that. They both were equally powerless to do anything about the imminent separation.

She didn't even know why they had walked back to her house. Alex had nothing of hers left there, besides of the memories they had created. What was the point of walking back there? Was it so that the raven-haired girl could feel what a safe haven felt like for maybe the last time? Maybe to remind herself that there was actually something good in the world? Whatever the reason, they were all equally tragic.

With her feet weighing like two large cement blocks, they walked up to the door. Piper unlocked it and stepped into the dark hallway, closely followed by the other. It was in that dark narrow room that they let go of each other's hands. Piper switched into her normal routine, the only thing that could numb the more suffocating numbness she was feeling, turning on the lights in the hallway, but regretting it almost immediately. The light felt so intruding, like it would shatter the already fragile ice that was keeping them both afloat.

Piper couldn't help but feel like she was slowly shrinking; her skin becoming too big for her and she felt so incredibly small, as if the world had started to outgrow her at a rapid pace, like there was no one in the world that could make her feel safe or make her feel like she was home again. However, there was one person that could, but that didn't feel like the band aid it was supposed to be. It felt more like someone was about to rip duct-tape off of a huge burn blister, ripping off something that had become a piece of her, only leaving a fresh and burning scar in its wake.

It felt so final, like she was being forced away from her home by unforgiving flames of a merciless fire that had rained down from the sky; something she couldn't control no matter how hard she would cling to it. Piper felt for the first time in her life how hard it really was to not be in control of something.

As the time ticked by and they stood motionless, loneliness started to fill her every pore. It was the worst kind of isolation, making it hard to breathe. All the feelings needed to stop. Alex just had to stay. Even if Piper knew that she had a flare for the over dramatic, it was what she felt. _It was real. _She had to make a last desperate attempt to cure her oncoming aloneness even if it would sound pathetic. The blonde was beyond caring if it would. How could she care about something, in reality, so meaningless as sounding pathetic? She had a need, and she would ask for it no matter how it would come out.

"Can't you stay? Please?" Piper struggled to finally get out the words. It hurt to say, because it was so hopeless to even ask. There was only one answer to that question and they both knew it. She felt like a little child being abandoned by their parent, but at least she asked. Maybe it made it all worse, since she saw the apologetic sadness shine through Alex's eyes. There was no need for the question to be answered.

Piper's eyes were roaring river's of unshed tears, waiting to tip over the edge of a cliff. Wasn't there anything else she could do? Was Alex just hoping that Piper would forget the whole event that had played over the past days? How could that even be possible? The raven-haired girl was smart enough to know that it wasn't even a possibility. There had to be something that could make them keep the bond. One does not tie bonds as strong as the one they had, just to let it burn to pieces in acid of abandonment.

All the things they had actually managed to experience during such a short interaction would be etched to her forever. Not etched to her memory, but actually carved into her whole being. She felt slightly different. One cannot possibly hope to be fundamentally changed over the course of a few days, but it was like she had gotten a taste of what she _really was, _like Alex had opened a door inside of her she didn't know was there and open doors comes with new possibilities. Finally there was another way of thinking that didn't make her so damn tired. She just hadn't realized that it actually drained her to be around those so called friends. But Alex made her come alive with a subtle vibrant energy. There had to be some way to save it, to continue it.

"Can I at least have your number?" Piper stammered out, choking on the tears still stuck in her throat. That was her last hope. Her last hope of doing something right, her last hope of being of help to Alex and her last hope of saving herself from the loneliness that was so slowly trying to strangle her. I didn't matter for what purpose she did it. She needed Alex. How can a person become so dependent of another after such a short amount of time? Was it even possible? Had Piper been so lonely to begin with that she chose to cling onto the first person available? No, she had never felt as alone as she did at the moment, knowing that at any second, Alex would walk out of her door. If she had just settled for someone, she wouldn't feel so freaking broken about the other leaving. So, she put her last bit of faith into hoping that Alex would give her her number.

"Sure." Piper swallowed hard, feeling how her head became lighter, relief washing over her like gigantic waves of the ocean hitting a shoreline. Even if the relief had disappeared as soon as she remembered that she would be left soon.

With shaky hands she handed her phone over to the raven-haired girl and watched as the other's fingers typed in her number. It was something. It had to count for something, but the ball of communication had landed in Alex's corner and Piper would just have to trust her to keep it up.

They were still standing in the hallway, Alex on her knees slowly tying her black converse, dragging out the last bit of time before the inevitable. Awkwardness hung thick in the air. They both were asking the same question, _how are we going to say goodbye? How are we ever going to cut th__e__ tie that we __so tightly __tied together?_ It practically oozed out of them. The drowsiness of their movements, the fumbling of fingers, like they had gone numb from sudden coldness, coldness brought to them by oncoming loneliness.

Piper chewed on her bottom lip when she watched Alex rise from her kneeling position. In her head she was screaming, _please don't leave, please don't leave_,_please don't leave __me here_ and she was sure the mute words in her head resonated through her eyes, because she could see the echoed answer in Alex's pale green ones. And it hurt like nothing else had ever done. Piper couldn't help herself as she wrapped her arms around the other's neck and held her tight, tighter than she had ever held onto something in her entire life.

There was no eye contact or words exchanged between them, because neither one of them could stand to hear what they really meant. _Goodbye._ It is so hard to say goodbye when one is clinging to something so hard that it's like ones life is depending on that.

"I-I'm sorry, Piper..." Alex whispered in the most quiet voice Piper had ever heard someone speak in. The blonde just shook her head, not being able to speak, which she hated. She wanted the raven-haired girl to know that she wasn't mad at her, that she didn't blame her. Piper just wanted her to stay for a million and one reasons. She wished that she could've let Alex know that, but her numbness laughed in her face and denied her that privilege. She just hoped that Alex knew.

When the door finally closed, Piper turned around, ready to go up to her room and loom around there, but she paused. She didn't feel like walking up to her room. In fact, she didn't feel like doing anything. How would she go about doing something normal, when it felt like the only normal thing had just walked out of the door? And how could it fucking be that after just a few days her normal had shifted so massively that Piper knew she would never ever feel the same again.

Unsure of how to continue with even her next breath, Piper walked into the kitchen, but found no meaning there, so she entered the living room. It turned out to be her biggest mistake yet. In the room sat their forgotten mugs of tea, taunting her with the reminder that the girl that had once used one of them was gone. There was no way to tell if Alex would actually answer any of Piper's future attempts to contact her. So just those fucking _mugs,_ made the tears burn even hotter in her eyes. She turned on her heel, not being able to exist if she looked at them any longer.

Everything in her hurt. Not only just physically but mentally. Fighting back tears was one big battle meant to be lost. The body can only take so much before it breaks into tiny pieces of ash.

Not even bothering to put the mugs in the sink, she turned around and walked up to her room, practically dragging her feet behind her. She laid down on her bed, feeling like a wounded animal, left to die on the highway.

Staring at the wall in the darkness, slowly, Piper finally succumbed to the lump in her throat. It was a mess, not having pulled the plug in quite some time, the tears just came. She was so glad that she was alone. Her sobs were loud and ugly and she lost control. Luckily, there was no strength left in her body to flail and hit things. She was just an apathetic heap on her bed, crying her soul out. Why did she have to go out into her backyard that night? Why did she have to find Alex out there, so battered and bruised? Why did she have to take her in? Why didn't she do more? Why did she let Alex leave so easily?

Piper couldn't help but hate herself more when all the questions screamed inside of her and the tears wouldn't stop coming.

**AN:** I'm so sorry if you feel like this is dragging on, this always happens when I write. I guess I love catching tiny moments and chop them into too tiny pieces and sometimes it gets messy...

From now on I guess I'm going to cover a little bit more time as a chapter progresses and more will happen that isn't just in their little bubble, which I totally burst (oops). I hope you all still like it.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:** Unfortunately, I will have to read three courses in the span of two months which equals studying at 150% pace, which means I probably won't be able to update this during that time. I am so sorry, but I just wanted you guys to know that I won't be abandoning this story, it's just that school has to go first. I will write when I have time, I just highly doubt that I will have it.

Thank you all for being patient and still sticking with this story. I also want to thank every single one of you who left a follow, review and a favorite. You guys are the best and I just want you to know how grateful I am that you are reading and leaving your thoughts on this even if I suck at updating. You're such sweethearts all of you.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**That's a fine looking high horse**_

Her room was clad in a murky kind of darkness. The kind that emerged long after the sun had set all the way behind the horizon, like the earth tried in vain to regain that last sunlight as desperately as a thirsty man in a dessert with only dew on a cactus thorn to drink from.

It had been hours since the other left, but she hadn't even managed to move from the bed while the night grew heavier. The crying had eventually stopped, the body can only produce so much tears it seemed, but the sadness hadn't left her. Piper guessed she was just too exhausted to do anything else than just... stare blindly into the wall and let her thoughts drain her to a place where everything would hopefully just be still. That was what she wished for, but the blonde knew that she was far beyond the point where wishes meant something. If she was able to fall asleep she could, at best, be looking at a dreamless rest and even then, the silent stress that was slowly clogging her lungs with it's infectious dark anxiety, would ruin any good the rest would do.

Since Alex came into her life, her reality seemed to become too real and wishes isn't for reality. Even if she was kind of harshly uprooted from her own safe little "normal-bubble" she didn't regret going out that dark night she found her. How could she regret it? It was such a disgusting thing to even think, that getting to know the raven-haired girl was something she could on some level regret. No, the guilt over the fact that she hadn't even tried to do _something_ about helping Alex was hurting her more than the stress. Piper had let her wander into an unsafe place without even lifting a finger to stop her.

These thoughts had been grounding around in her brain endlessly since Alex had taken the first step out into the cold and unforgiving autumn night. But the grinding didn't seem to turn them into dust, they only seemed to gain more armor from the wearing process of repeating. Nothing other than actual actions could make it better, but Piper was boneless. Like the last few hours that they had spent together was the one thing that had held the blonde together from completely falling apart from the mess their encounter had become. Like some kind of hastily made arts and craft from a second grade class, barley making it home alive in a dirty backpack. Tape and stick glue in all its dull glory. And Piper wondered if it was yet another naïve thought that Alex had held her together, like Piper knowing what had happened to the other girl would somehow make it better. Like just the mere presence of the other would magically make everything feel alright again.

At last, Piper let herself be taken away by the sandman, childishly hoping he could be merciful and bring her the energy she would need to cope.

There was a faint knock on her door, and she tried to get herself to actually open her eyes and comprehend who it could be. Piper felt her world spin and her whole body felt like syrup, not one of her limbs seemed to obey her command to move, so she gave up and closed her eyes again. She didn't have enough strength to keep them open. Just for a split second she felt energy rouse through her as she had thought that against all odds it would be Alex coming back to her. Coming back to curl up next to her. Cling to her like the only raft out on the massive expanse of a vast ocean. Maybe it was Piper who needed to hold onto the raven-haired girl, needed that kind of unconditional relationship they had developed during a few short days. Nothing in Piper's life had previously felt unconditional. Everything she ever did came with some kind of expectation or demand.

"Hi, I'm home." It was Cal's voice that came to her and quickly shattered every ounce of hope that she had managed to builed up. Disappointment flooded her every fiber. She wished again, hopelessly, that Alex could come back so she could glue all of Alex back together and pick out all in the world that would ever bring harm to the other girl. She didn't want to think about the disappointment she felt and tried in vain to cling onto sleep again. If Alex wasn't there, she didn't want to face the world just yet. It would be so nice to just fall asleep and not wake up until the raven-haired girl was there by her side again. Slowly she felt the sludge that was sleep cling to her again and she let herself be wrapped up by the welcomed warmth.

She had just dozed off for a few seconds when Cal abruptly tore her from sleep again with his voice as he opened the door and stepped into her room.

"Hey Pipette, are you okay?" Cal said, coming further inside the dark room. Piper closed her eyes hard when she turned around to the wall, hoping that her gesture would be enough of a hint for him to leave her alone. As always with Cal, he didn't seem to mind other peoples body language and just probed for her attention again.

"You're not getting sick are you?" She drove her head into the pillow a bit further and put one of her arms over her face. Not even that was enough for her younger brother to leave.

"'Cause if you are, I have some dried up roots that my buddy says is the bomb against colds, but they might cause you to trip a bit, but that's like the best part of it. I mean, fever already does that to you, so what's the harm, you know?" Cal rambled on, while Piper barley moved or acknowledged that she could hear him. Her brother took the hint and sighed heavily before he walked to the bed and laid a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll leave you alone, but I'm here if you wanna talk." Cal said before he walked out and left Piper to her sulking. She felt a tiny warmth spread through her chest at her brother's gesture, which made her feel even shittier about totally ignoring him. He was such a sweet kid. The only good thing her parents had ever done. She felt the warmth leave her and the numbing cold possessed her body once again. Her parents inevitable arrival home was yet another layer of icing on the shit cake.

The next day, Piper was as silent as before. Cal didn't take much notice as he was camped up in his room, probably getting high while he worked on something weird made out of scrap metal. She was thankful that she was left alone since she really needed the space to further process everything that had become her life.

She had only left her room to go and make a cup of tea. The thought of anything else made her stomach clench, which made her feel nauseous. So tea was the only thing she could think of that would put a patch on her fragmented soul. The warmth of the beverage had always been a comfort to her and since her other comfort wasn't there anymore, it had to do.

Once it was done, she sought refuge in her own room again. Happy to hibernate in it if it meant that no one, but Alex, would disturb her angst slumber. Yes, she was melodramatic, but she couldn't stand the thought of having to deal with other people at that moment.

She sank down on her bed, the warm cup in one hand, and leaned against the wall, letting her head fall back against it. She was still so damn tired. Her ten hours of sleep had done no more than add to her misery. Thankfully, though, she could only remember vague tidbits of her dreams. Even so, they seemed to have eaten up the energy that the sleep would have provided her.

While bringing the mug to her lips, she reached for her phone that had been discarded on the bed. She hoped that the cyberworld would be a good distraction, even if she really didn't care for what Stephanie or Angelica were doing that day. It was just something to rest her mind on and a way of hopefully distracting her so that the hours could pass and she could go to bed again.

Just a second before the blonde pushed the Instagram app open, she realized that she had Alex's number. If she was missing her so terribly, why not try to talk to her? The idea of numbing her mind with social media quickly disappeared when that bright idea shone inside of her head.

Her fingers hesitated over her keyboard, having already tried typing out a dozen different messages, but no matter what she tried to say or how she tried to formulate herself, nothing seemed appropriate. There was no point in asking how the other was since she would surely deflect it immediately with an _I'm fine_ or something along those lines. Not letting Piper inside of her head for even a second.

She put down her phone on the bed and sighed in defeat. Why was it so hard to strike up a conversation? Piper tapped her cup in thought, not wanting to give up that easy, she wanted to talk to the other so badly so she would be damned if she wouldn't do that when she had the opportunity. The tapping on the cup made her think of something. She had yet to touch their forgotten cups that still sat in the kitchen sink and taunted her like a fresh red scar against skin. Maybe that was a place to start? Or was it too casual? It felt wrong to bring it up, like she wasn't taking Alex's situation seriously, but if she couldn't ask how the other was, then what would she talk about?

She picked up her phone and tapped out a message that felt terrible, but it was an invitation. An invitation back to their easy banter, where they had thrived best together before reality came crashing down around them.

_You left me to take care of the dishes. A habit of yours? ;) _

Piper stared at the message, swallowing hard. She had her thumb over the send button, hesitating once again. It could either go horribly wrong or work out fine. Piper just didn't know if she was willing to risk their fragile bond. The distance between them was already tearing on the blonde's end. She closed her eyes and hit send, wishing to her lucky star that it would be okay.

Five excruciating minutes passed by and for every minute that ticked away, Piper felt herself coming one step closer to full on panic. Maybe she had destroyed their bond by those thirteen simple words that were no more that tiny pixels on a digital screen. Nothing more than electricity and light forming unpersonalized words that were perceived as communication. Once more she felt the tears wandering up her throat when suddenly her phone buzzed against her bed. As if a lightning had struck her, she sat up in her bed and snatched the phone to her chest and opened it as fast as she could. She had one new message. Piper almost sobbed out in relief, it was from Alex.

_I don't play housewife well, I thought it would suit you better._

Piper actually laughed. It was so, so, so good to get that kind of reply. It was so Alex and she finally felt warm again.

_So, you have thought of me as a housewife? That's interesting. Which of my qualities would even make you think I would qualify as one?_

They kept messaging back and forth the whole day. It made Piper relax, even if she was painfully aware of the fact that Alex was still on unsafe ground. It felt like a robbery to just go along with the kind of play pretend that they were doing with the texting. The only thing that made Piper not just stop and ask what she could do to help or ask if anything else had happened was the fact that she hoped that their conversation made Alex think of something else. It was incredibly self absorbed of Piper to hope that she was the raven-haired girl's beacon of light, but she did only because she thought it might help Alex to have someone to cling to. And she felt addicted to the raven-haired girl's words so she couldn't stop herself even if she wanted to. Any contact with Alex was better than no contact at all.

Her parents would come back on a Sunday. So as usual, she and Cal had to clean up the house so that their parents wouldn't notice how decadent they had been living. Since her little brother came back home, three days prior, they had basically lived off of pizza and Chinese take out. Piper didn't have the energy to cook something and she wouldn't even think about letting Cal do something that had to do with food, it would always end up in a catastrophe.

The cleaning was a welcomed distraction to Piper as she had spent the three days thinking about Alex. Even if they had a good time with the messaging, Alex hadn't responded since they had said good night two days ago. It was starting to get Piper really antsy and her parents looming arrival didn't make her feel calmer about anything. It was just added stress to her gigantic pile of it. But as always, when life brings one hardships, one must face it. So when she heard the front door open and her parents voices swam up to her room, she steeled herself with platinum armor and hoped that the dinner she heard was being made would go over smoothly without any hiccups.

As she descended the stairs to join her _family_ for dinner, she took several deep breathes and just hoped that she would survive it.

"Oh, _we_ had such a pleasant time, darling." Carol addressed her daughter as she poured herself a big glass of white wine. At least it was an acceptable hour to drink, the blonde thought.

Piper rolled her eyes, not having asked in the first place how their trip had been. She knew how it had been, there was no need for asking. Her father only hummed in agreement not seeming particularly interested in what his wife was bringing up. Piper knew her mother hadn't said that directly to her, since the blonde didn't ask how they had been during their absence. She was almost sure that Carol only said it to really rub it in Bill's face that she knew what was going on and that she didn't like it one bit. That was her mother's way of fighting back and hurting her father. What her mother didn't see though, was that it hurt Piper more than anyone.

"Your father's colleagues were _very_ entertaining." Carol said, with a slight undertone of venom.

"He practically lived in that hotel bar, talking to costumers, clients and just having a jolly good time."

Seeing her mother trying to start a fight mixed with all that had happened with Alex; she just couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't sit around and watch her two idiot parents stab each other in the back from their high horses anymore.

"Could you two just fucking stop it already?" Piper shouted, as she stood up from the table. Her father stopped with his fork midair, before lowering it and sending her a glare. He was about to speak and probably tell her to watch her language, but her mother beat him to it.

"Piper Elisabeth Chapman..." Her mother began, her father putting down the fork to also start some kind of scolding.

"Watch your lang-" Her father was about to continue his lecture, but Piper felt her temper flare dangerously hot, hotter than it ever had before.

"No, I've had it!" It silenced them both long enough for Piper to take a deep breath, before she continued.

"You" She pointed at her father. "Have been cheating ever since I was fucking nine! And have done it repeatedly since. Do you even care about us at all?" She didn't even give him a sliver of a chance to defend himself as she jumped to her mother to continue the unloading she was doing.

"And you!" This time she glared at her mother. "You pretend to not know and go about making all these hints, drinking yourself to sleep. You've been playing the guilt trip on Dad for I don't know how long. And _you_ know that I know about the cheating. How do you think I feel every time you make these obvious hints? For Christ sake, it's no wonder Danny won't even visit anymore! Who could ever survive in this passive aggressive hell that you have the guts to call home?" Piper bit the inside of her cheek to stop the tears she felt burn hot like lava. Her parents didn't even say a word as Piper collected herself. But she saw how her father clenched his jaw and she knew that he was about to scold her and she wasn't done with them yet.

"Both of you, get off your fucking high horses and get a fucking divorce. I've had it. I can't stand the pretense any more. I'm not going to sit around, _pretending_ that everything is fine when it isn't!" Piper pullet out her chair and walked away from the table, not even caring what the consequences was going to be for her little berserk rant.

"You can have your Christmas photo without me, we've never been a family anyways." Piper said as she grabbed her jacket and swung the front door open, entering the dark evening. She slammed the door shut and started walking at a fast pace as she took up her phone. Hot tears made their way down her face, mixing with the rain when she started to furiously type out a message in her blind rage.

_My fucking parents. Do they not know how much they hurt me? All because of their own fucking pride. I just wish that they would get a divorce. And what kind of a wish is that? I just can't believe them. My mom is sitting at the table, casually throwing obvious hints about how dad slept with several women on that trip and he doesn't even flinch or tell her to stop or admit that she is right. The worst part is that she is right. He is a cheating bastard and he doesn't even care about it._

_I just... I just want it to stop. I guess I've never had a family._

Piper didn't even see the send button since her tears obscured her vision, but out of habit she knew where to press. It wasn't until her phone buzzed with the delivery assurance that she saw that she had sent it to Alex.

**AN:** Ugh, I'm sorry, it just feels like I'm repeating myself... But I promise that after this chapter, things will pick up and we won't see as much of Piper's angsty pining.

_To the guest who wrote to me about having experience about a situation like Alex's, I just want to say; I hope you are safe and well. I also hope that you have someone to talk to about this. If you don't have, I'm always available here and my tumblr is thelovelyladiesoflitchfield. Please, if anyone of you want to talk to me about anything feel welcome to contact me here or on my tumblr. _

_Take care, all of you. Be safe. Love always. _


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:** I am so sorry for the long delay, but as I said in the previous AN, school had to come first and now that that tribulation is over I will hopefully be able to write at a faster pace. It was two really, really hard months.

Once again, I just want to give a major shout out to my beta reader. She is the reason I publish these things. Without her, this story would never have seen daylight. I owe everything to her. Thank you, my dear friend.

I'm so sorry, enough of me. Lets get the show going again. I hope you're all curious about how our two little ones are doing. Hopefully this chapter will make up for my massive absence and I so hope you like it. So here we go:

A slight trigger warning on this chapter: **there will be discussion of abuse.**

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Why do we always say goodbye?**_

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._ Piper thought as she stared at her phone. How stupid was she? How could she have sent that text to Alex when she had enough problems herself? Her petty little family problems didn't even compare to what the raven-haired girl surely faced on a daily basis. So why did she have to open her big mouth and rant about it? She was probably just weighing the other girl down, causing her more anguish than necessary. When would she ever catch a break? Couldn't everything just be normal for a second? No more angst, just normal, boring days. And yet again came the selfish Piper, who always thought about herself, caring only about whether she was comfortable, wishing only herself good. Even if that only was half true, her mood was not in the place to actually see that she cared so much for Alex and not only herself. The downward spiral had caught her and she didn't have to tools to break out of it.

She wanted to throw her phone down the over flooded drain, throw it down there so she could forget that she had sent that stupid text. Or maybe break the phone in half, it would be equally satisfying. She was fascinated with how self absorbed she could be. Why did she even have to tell anyone about it? Why couldn't she, for once, just keep her mouth shut? Nobody cared anyway. Her friends would think she was a maniac for what she had done. _"Like, who does that?"_ A direct quote from her "friends", she was sure of it. She guessed the only one who would care, if she wasn't so broken, was Alex, but why put weight on someone who was already down? Why did she have to send such a text? The focus in their brief relationship was on Alex and that was how it was supposed to be. Piper was supposed to be the listener, the good friend, the one to lean on.

She thought about breaking the phone in half again, just out of sheer frustration. Non the less, she shoved it down her pocket and continued to walk down the street, glad that it was dinner time and bad weather. She wanted to be alone, needed to be alone. There was absolutely no room for her neighbors judgment or just a simple stiff greeting between one of them and her. She craved loneliness, peacefulness, which made her think of the only place where she had ever truly been undisturbed, so she steered her steps in a more clear direction.

The rain crept inside her collar, feeling like sharp icy needles against her skin. She hadn't even bothered to conceal her face with the hood of her jacket, having been too angry when she stormed out of the house, even if she knew how cold the rain could be.

Her thoughts began to wander back to the dinner table and what had happened there. All she wanted was an escape, to be so far away from all that shit. Had her home ever truly felt like a home?

How could two adults continue to fuck up so badly? To not even consider how their children felt about it all? Was she and Cal really that invisible to them? Where they so deep down in their own personal trauma to even notice? Or were they so damn terrified of being viewed as a failure because of a marriage that didn't work out? Piper clenched her cold, wet fists hard. So hard that her nails dug deep in her skin. She was so sick and tired of all societies norms that were so untouchable and so scary to break, because if one broke the norms, one would be without the safety net that all normalcy came with. And all that fear of what people might say or think made people quiver at the mere thought of it. How could just silent rules hold so many people hostage to it's looming power? It was all just so fucking stupid. Who the fuck cared anyway? And one must ask oneself, who are you living for? A bunch of stuck up people who, out of their own fear, decided to just float along instead of giving up a fight? And they just don't care about anyone, since they only ever looked out for themselves and are waiting for someone to fuck up. Or are you living for yourself, working to make your life as livable as possible?

As all these thoughts raged on inside of her, she couldn't help but think of Alex again, how she seemed to so easily live outside these rules, how _comfortable_ she was to live outside of them. Like she was born with the ability to operate just as normal as any other person without these invisible strings pulling at her like a marionette. That was what it seemed like. She was like a calm in the storm, walking through a tornado without being touched by it's destructive force. Which, considering her situation at home, was slightly contradictory, since at home she was in the middle of one, getting hit by each and every harmful wind that kept sweeping by her.

Piper couldn't say why, but tears sprung to her eyes. She missed Alex, missed what they'd had those few days. How at ease they were with each other considering the fact that they were practically strangers. How it was so different from anything else that the blonde had ever before experienced. Even if it was spawned from a tragic event, she couldn't help but think that she was grateful she'd had the fortune to meet Alex.

She was glad it rained. It was like an invisibility cloak for her hot tears. The cold wind that made the raindrops even colder, colored her cheeks a sheer pink and helped camouflage the tears even better and the redness she knew would stain her eyes and make them puffy.

The big old wooden doors was a welcomed beacon in the darkening world that kept getting more and more hostile. She opened them and was immediately met with the muggy smell of dusty old books and old rustic wooden chairs from the early '70s. Even if it was old and cramped up, she always loved to spend her time here. There were seldom people who occupied seats and it was always quiet. Even though it was not a glamorous place to be, she always felt so at home and welcomed there. It was strange to think so since the place was old and lacked vibrant colors.

Before she went to her favorite seat, she made sure to pick up one of the newest books that the library had to offer. With the new book in hand she made her way to the farthest corner back in the building.

Piper stopped before the old chair, closing her eyes for a second, trying hard to calm her mind and self down. The tears had stopped a while ago, but her mind was as active as before. Taking deep breaths as well with her eyes closed, she tried to adapt to the silence that surrounded her, letting it be her calm of the storm. She sat down in her favorite old chair and opened the book to its first page. As far as she knew, she was the only person there. It didn't matter to her if she wasn't and she didn't even bother to find out if she was as she started to read the first words on the page preparing to be fully immersed in a whole new world. She got to be a tiny part in the universe that lay in front of her in her hands. She had always loved that, getting to live a totally different life for a while, turning the words into a movie full of details.

After ten minutes, Piper sighed heavily having struggled with the first three pages for way too long. She was really out of it, she thought as she yet again read the same sentence for the fourth time, not grasping its content, like something had knocked her out of her rhythm. It wasn't surprising in the least, but it bother Piper to know that her mind was declaring full out war with her, to be aware that all the shit that had happened to her held that much power over her. She really wished she had brought her headphones with her. Maybe the music could drown out her mind. It could've replaced the constant ringing thoughts that wouldn't let her be. Piper sighed again, trying once more to let the words of the book be her current world.

Giving up for a second time to read the book, she scanned the shelves that surrounded her. They were all made from a dark wood that, strangely enough, had a calming effect. Like they were guardians standing tall and proud, offering protection from the real world for a little while. They were filled up with so much comfort, joy, sorrow, crazy adventures and lives of so many people, characters that lived through pages and survived through generations and generations. Piper always found it comforting to be surrounded by silence that held so much life. If she wanted to, she could drown in each and every one of them.

However, she was not prepared for what she would find in between the rows of these large shelves. The person responsible for her longing stood amongst the rows, probably also searching for an escape.

Piper was stunned, frozen to her seat as goosebumps rapidly made their way over her skin. She began to wonder if her eyes were playing cruel tricks on her, rendering the one and only image that would give her some sense of calm just out of the satisfaction to see her suffer when she realized that it was all made up by her imagination. Even so, she saw with vivid detail as Alex scanned the shelves stuffed with dusty old books that were eagerly waiting for someone to open them up and discover their brilliance. And she couldn't have helped herself even if she wanted to when a single word slipped out of her parted lips.

"Alex...?" It was barely breathed out, but as the library was as silent as a tomb, it still managed to capture the other's attention. She could see how stiffness spread through the other body, like she had seen something horrible or just relived her worst nightmare. Slowly, the raven-haired girl turned her head, her eyes big and shiny. It was really her, more vivid than her imagination could ever have created. _It was her_. The tall girl with that strong and proud aura, the thick rimmed glasses, the pale porcelain skin and those sad early spring green eyes.

At first they were both completely still, like they both needed to confirm that it really was the other that they were looking at. The blonde was frozen in her seat, so happy to see the other that her body seemed to malfunction. It seemed that Alex wasn't doing much better as she too just stood frozen in the same position. The last time they had actually seen each other had been when they took that God awful goodbye in Piper's hallway. The blonde couldn't help the small tears that started to coat the surface of her eyes as she finally, finally got up from the chair and slowly started to move towards Alex. As soon as her arms had circled around the other's neck she let out a huge breath that felt more like a relived sob and in a way, it was. Alex was exactly who she needed at that moment. It was strangely comforting to feel the other's presence again.

Feeling Alex's arms around her was like coming home after a tiring and long trip. Piper squeezed her eyes shut hard, not letting the tears crash against the other girl's soft, dark hair. The blonde guessed that she had already had too many tears in her lifetime.

She didn't know how long they stood there, but it was way too long to only be a casual greeting between two friends, but Piper didn't want to let go. She couldn't.

When they managed to untangle themselves from each other, there was an uncertain pause between them, almost awkward, like they both had shown one too many emotions to each other. Which in reality would be absurd, considering the bond they shared.

Instead of talking they just stood and stared into each other's eyes, like they were searching for the meaning of their unexpected meeting. Once again, Piper let out a huge breath she didn't knew she was holding, mostly because of the tension between them. How would she act? They had already made physical contact, even if they didn't really mean to. it just happened, but what would she say to Alex? That Alex was an "ass" for leaving her to do all the cleaning up by herself, to pick up on the banter? Or would she just be casual and ask what she was doing there? It all just spun around so fast inside her head and she felt more and more pressure to say something since the silence hung so thick around them. She just wanted the other girl to say something, but maybe she needed to take the first step. Be brave and once again pick up their bond that felt like hot lava, so untouchable at that moment. She didn't know why it felt so hard to take that first step.

Her brain threatened to explode if she didn't do something and that wouldn't do any good so she opted for the simplest of all the things she could say.

"Hi..." She almost forced out. It sounded a little breathy, but her state of mind was to blame for that. She saw something flicker by in Alex's eyes before she responded to the greeting.

"Hey." There was a hint of relief in the raven-haired girl's voice and that just made Piper feel the same feeling so strong that she would need to sit down soon. She had almost forgotten how the other's voice sounded and was overwhelmed by how good it felt to hear it.

"Hey..." Piper said again, which made her feel a bit foolish, but it was just so, so, freaking good to see Alex. And to see a hint of a smirk playing at the edge of the raven-haired girl's lips was the best thing that had happened that day, even if it faded as soon as it had appeared. She couldn't really think of anything else than the fact that the raven-haired girl stood before her.

"I'm sorry about your parents, Piper. You did a good thing by telling them off. They should _definitely_ know better." Alex said in a low and incredibly soft voice. The blonde was grateful and it warmed her to hear that Alex cared. Piper blushed when the other brought up her stupid text. It was good to hear that she had done a good thing, but that didn't erase the fact that she had actually sent it.

"No, I'm sorry, Alex... I shouldn't have sent it to you. It was just stupid, I mean you have enough of your own problems and my problems aren't even close to serious and I shouldn't burden you with them and make you think that I don't think that yours aren't and..." Piper shut her eyes hard, squeezing them together as if that would erase her and her ranting. It was frustrating how easy it was for her to get tangled in words.

"You know I said I would listen. And besides, one should never compare ones problems. What good does it really do? " Alex said as softly as before and Piper opened her eyes and stared in disbelief at the other. She was such a kindhearted girl, it was amazing considering how broken she really was.

"I know, but still I..." Piper didn't even know what she was trying to say, but it didn't feel right to talk about her and it felt weird that someone actually cared, that someone actually listened to what she said and felt and considered it valid, considered it something worthy of recognition.

"No, I mean it Piper. I don't mean that we have to talk about it now. Just, if you ever feel like talking about it, I'm here." Piper just continued to stare at the other, more in awe this time and yet again she was struck by how beautiful she was. And not just in the sense of physical appearance, she was beautiful inside out. It warmed all of Piper to know that the raven-haired girl was there if she needed her.

"Okay... Thank you and the same to you. I'm here if you ever need anything." It felt no more than right to reciprocate Alex's gesture, but it didn't feel like an obligation. She genuinely wanted to help and be there for her and Piper hoped that she knew that. The blonde sighed just to let the tension spill out of her body. Alex wasn't mad at her for sending that text. They were good. Well, at least Piper was, the raven-haired girl seemed as quiet as usual, maybe even more withdrawn with her feelings than the last time. The only hint of them could be seen in her eyes, like they were tiny flecks of light that seemed to flicker by too quickly to catch.

"Maybe we could sit down?" Piper quietly said and moved her body towards the chair she had been seated in previously. Alex felt so out of reach when they stood up. It felt like Piper had to jump over a thick stone wall just to talk to her. It made the blonde instantly worried. Had her mother's boyfriend done something again? Was it worse than it usually was?

Alex just nodded and they both walked over to the set of chairs.

In lack of something else to say, since just everything she could think of felt wrong, she decided to just relax and say what she felt.

"It's so good to see you again." She whispered out, feeling her cheeks growing hotter and she let her gaze land on the table between them. Alex just spawned these feelings so effortlessly in her and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't for the life of her hide them.

"You too." Alex said simply, but there was a hint of something else in her voice. Maybe it was a bit of warmth? Piper couldn't know for sure, but it was something positive at least and that made a smile form on her own lips. She raised her gaze back to Alex's in hope of seeing a tiny flash of something good and it was there. Shining so clear in the dull lighting of the old library. That smile made her crave the other girl's warm and characteristic laughter. Before she could even stop and reflect upon what she was going to say, it was already out there since the tension between the two of them had seemed to evaporate the second their smile's came to life.

"You know, ever since you said that I had the characteristics to be a housewife, I haven't stopped thinking about it." Piper let the statement hang in the air for a second, enjoying how the dramatic pause effected Alex. She could clearly see the wheels in her head spinning on high drive, maybe thinking where the hell she was going with it.

"I've been so obsessed with it that I've submitted a resume to a local mail order bride site." She was rewarded with Alex's rich laughter and it felt like a true balm to her soul, but of course nothing between the two of them was ever that simple. She saw Alex wince at something and immediately felt that knot of anguish return with vengeance in the pit of her stomach. Something must have happened again, something bad.

"Alex, what happened?" Piper asked in a shaky voice, suddenly so scared again as she once more crash landed back into reality.

"Nothing, I'm fine..." Alex said as she clenched her jaw and kept her eyes shut in what must've been an attempt at blocking out the pain that painted the raven-haired girl's face.

"Did he hit you again?" The blonde felt her stress levels increase and the bile rise in her throat. She had sent the other back into this, she couldn't let it happen again.

Alex just shakily sighed, like she tried to let out her breath in a controlled way, it seemed to do the trick as the other opened her eyes again. The other's eyes had hardened again, raising the stone walls that had made her so untouchable a minute ago. Alex didn't answer her so they just sat there in a quiet kind of death match, seeing who would cave in first to the loud silence that screamed around them. As time stretched on and they remained in silence, Piper realized that Alex probably had upheld a facade of well being to her mother. The blonde just needed confirmation.

"You haven't told you mother, have you?" Piper asked, trying hard to not sound disappointed or scared, it wouldn't help Alex in any way if she let those emotions control her voice. As Piper suspected, the raven-haired girl shook her head and looked at the shelf behind Piper. The blonde bit the inside of her cheek, unsure of what else to say.

"I never said I would." Alex bit back after a while, like she'd had to collect her strength again. The blonde was surprised by the sudden defensiveness of the other, but at the same time what had she expected?

"But, Alex you have to..."

"No, I really don't. I'm doing fine." It looked like Alex was on the verge of a massive rage outburst. It chocked Piper to see that. The inside of her cheek started to hurt from the slightly manic shewing she was doing on it. She just _needed_ to help the other girl, but how? Nothing she did seemed to work.

Then she remembered the text that she had sent to her mother. The other girl seemed to care about her mother enough to send her a text when she ran away. It may have been a desperate grasp at nothing, but she at least had to try.

"Do you love your mother?" Piper asked sternly, although cringing hard at how she sounded. She didn't want to take that tone against Alex, but she knew she had to. As soon as she had uttered the words, Piper could see how a fire lit inside the other girl's eyes and how her whole body took a defending position. The blonde had hit a very, very sore spot and she was right. Alex cared about her.

"Jesus fucking Christ." The raven-haired girl muttered under her breath as she clenched her jaw and rolled her eyes.

"Answer the question, Alex." Piper bit back, maybe a bit too forcefully, but she just had to get the message across.

"Of course I fucking do!" Alex harshly whispered.

"Then you have to tell her." Piper stated as sternly as before not giving the other girl a chance to continue the argument. She saw that Alex bit the inside of her lip.

"You have to get you and your mother out of that fucking man's reach, okay? Who fucking knows what he will do next? Clearly he has already done something to harm you, _again._" Piper said in a desperate voice, hoping to reach through all of Alex's thick layers of defense.

"Why do you care?" Alex asked, clearly trying to change the subject and Piper felt cornered by it. She did expect to be asked such a question sooner or later and she was actually forced to think hard about why she did care. It was so easy to define why she did care, but at the same time so hard. She couldn't just answer with a "Because I care", but an "I don't want you to get hurt" wasn't sufficient either. Even if they both were true, it wouldn't satisfy Alex. There were too many fragments of the subject for Piper to decipher at that moment, they were from guilt and selfishness amongst other things, but not only that.

"I can't stand to not know that you're not safe..." Piper almost pleaded.

"I don't need your pity..." Alex said, voice laced with something that could resemble disgust and the blonde felt a little trampled upon. That was not why she was trying to help the other and the raven-haired girl _had_ to know that.

"That has nothing to do about it, I... I like you." Alex furrowed her eyebrows at that and Piper rushed to explain herself so the other couldn't start to argue again.

"And... I- I need you... I know it seems entirely selfish, but you already mean so much to me, Alex." At that, the raven-haired girl looked down at the table.

"But, that's not what we're talking about, Alex. If you don't tell your mom, I will go to the police." Piper said as a finality, having turned back to the original subject of their conversation.

"You can't..." Alex tried to defend herself.

"Yes, I can and I will if you don't tell your mom about it. I'm serious, Alex." Piper hated to do this, but she couldn't let this keep going. Alex was in actual danger and she couldn't continue to know about it and not do something about it.

"But..." Alex tried to argue back, but Piper wasn't having any of it. She felt like a real asshole for doing it, but she was so lost in herself that it felt like the only thing she could do.

"No, I'm serious." Piper interrupted the other yet again, having had enough of the whole discussion. She just wanted to help.

"I can't keep going around not knowing if you're safe or not, Alex." Piper said and reached out to touch the other's hand, gaining her attention.

"Please, if you don't do it for yourself, do it for you mom." Piper pleaded, feeling so desperate. She saw how Alex clenched her jaw and how she withdrew her hand to rub her temples. Maybe the blonde had crossed a line that couldn't be erased or taken back? What if the ultimatum that she had made to Alex was the final drop that made her leave Piper for good? Maybe she had destroyed everything when she had tried to help? That thick silence had sunk around them again, creeping it's way down Piper's throat, making it hard to breathe.

"Fine." Was all Alex said, clenching her jaw together and the blonde hated herself a little more, but it was all for a good reason, even if the raven-haired girl would shut her out of her life, at least she may have saved her from that fucking man.

"I'll text you when I've done it and we can meet here." They both sat in silence for quite some time, the reality brushing up against them in a crude and unforgiving way. They had to part ways again and Piper couldn't help herself as she once again grasped hold of Alex's hand and squeezed it tightly. She guessed that that was the only thing that would still her mind for a while, until the next time they would see each other.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:** I'm completely blown away by how many that were glad to see me back. I hope you all know how happy you make me. You're the best readers ever and I'm so grateful that you all want to follow and read this. I know I am slow, but the fact that you still stick around makes me so happy. Thank you guys so, so much!

You could see this as a passage chapter, but for me, important things happen in it, even if it is just to pass time. I'll say this; Piper is so brave. Poor little one. What have I put her through?

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Feeling as gray as the autumn sky**_

The alarm clock rang angrily beside her, pounding harshly to the beat of her tired heart. She pushed her face further down into the pillow, wanting to bury herself deep down in her bed so she couldn't hear the day calling so loudly. But the harsh truth was that she couldn't; she had obligations and expectations to live up to, like any other day. It was what she wanted, right? A _normal_ boring day, just like it always had been. But not on these conditions. Not with how things had developed recently. All she wanted to do was sink further down into the warmth of the bed, the only thing that felt close to comfort. Once again she felt as if her body was made out of concrete or something equally heavy. It wasn't like the usual morning tiredness, it was just pure exhaustion. Her emotions running on high drive, assaulting her with stressful dreams that wouldn't leave her alone. She wasn't sure if she had even gotten a full hour of good sleep that night.

Her apatite hadn't returned, but her body didn't seem to care since her stomach almost hurt from the hunger that inhabited it. She tried to ignore it as she forced herself out of bed to start her morning rituals, even if she didn't have the energy for them. Her friends wouldn't really care how she looked, but they would ask and that would be uncomfortable since it would make her think about what had happened. The last thing she wanted was to tell her friends. They wouldn't understand.

There wasn't enough energy on the planet for her to continue to think about it. She had a talent for pushing things aside and live in oblivion. That was what she was going to do. Use her talent to be able to survive the day so she could die peacefully at night in her nest of pillows and the warmth of her comforter. It would be a pleasant place to die. She wished she could be that warm and comfortable the entire day, just wearing big comfy clothes. But her friends would probably start to talk behind her back about what she was wearing. So yeah, of course they would care what she looked like. It was naive of her to think anything else.

She was forced to put on that familiar theater mask. Trying to convince everybody that she was fine, like the light make up she had put on would be that mask and her outfit would be her armor. Most days it kind of was, but only since she didn't know better, _didn't have any better_. She guessed she had nowhere else to go beside loneliness. They were all she had, tragically enough. Even if she had Alex, she wasn't present in her day to day life. It was frustrating. She finally found someone that made her feel good, but she couldn't be with that person all the time. Kind of like a _really_ tired cliché.

Piper sighed heavily as she packed her school bag while trying to reboot her system to be set on routine. Easier said then done since her head felt cloudy, like she was inside of a really thick mist. Almost as if she was still asleep. Considering her lack of it, it wasn't in the least bit surprising. All and all, she felt like shit and the day would probably be the same; absolute shit.

With heavy steps she descended the stairs. She had been dreading to face her parents all morning, feeling like another heavy and thick cloud was hovering around her. The minute she had stepped a foot inside of the house the day before, they had grounded her. Or more like her dad. He went on a furious rant about how she couldn't just storm off whenever she felt like it, since she wasn't an _adult_ yet. And not to talk about her _rebellious little outburst at dinner._ How could she possibly have said such things to her parents? He had almost sounded a bit like her mother. She had just waited for the word _scandalous_ to slip out of his mouth to emphasize just how outrageous it had been. She had felt too numb to actually mouth back during the confrontation. Neither of her parents had raised an eyebrow at that. She guessed that they were glad and maybe even thought that she listened and was sorry for it.

But she couldn't help the "_You know I'm right"_ that escaped her when she was finally dismissed to her room. She could've sworn she felt her fathers eyes bore into her back at that and she was so tempted to make an obscene gesture to show just how unfazed she was by his scolding. Thankfully, for her sake, she'd been able to contain herself enough to not do it. Even so, she dreaded meeting them. Like the light of day crushed her bravery from the day before since the tension between her and her parents hadn't dissipated. If it was possible, the atmosphere was even harsher when she caught a glimpse of them on their way to work. It just made the knots in her stomach tighten even more. Even if regret wasn't present in that knot, she was more afraid of what they could do to her. Afraid they would restrain her form the freedom of being with Alex. Even if they didn't know about her, it was a realistic fear and it wasn't allowed to happen. She needed Alex. Maybe the fear gave birth to the dread that she felt so thick and sticky on her skin.

Piper needed to be available, even if it meant sneaking out of the house. She promised the raven-haired girl that they would meet and she wouldn't break that for anything in the world. It became clearer and clearer that _she_ needed Alex. It wasn't just about helping the other girl, she had become so dependent on the raven-haired girl. It seemed a bit unfair and she just hoped that Alex needed her as much.

They hadn't said _goodbye_ when they parted the previous evening. Just like before, their eyes had spoken for them so clearly that they didn't need to say the word. Piper mused that if they had said it, it would make it so much more real, like they took farewell permanently. Maybe it had been because of their previous conversation. It was so raw and to sprinkle salt into that big, bleeding open wound by saying goodbye would've been too painful. Neither of them needed anymore pain.

In one sense Piper was glad that she finally had embraced the truth about her parents. It wasn't that looming, unknown pain that kept thumping hard and slow like some infected lump, hurting like a slow paper cut to her soul. It was kind of the same pain, maybe a bit more vicious, but at least it was true and she could see why she hurt. It wasn't something she was imagining. Even if she would suppress it, she had the right to feel it. She owned the feeling and it was true no matter how hard someone would try to diminish it. Somehow, it helped to know why she hurt.

Piper had merely gotten out of the house and yet she had managed to dig her grave deeper than it was when she woke up. She just felt so defeated and wanted to turn around and go back inside. But that wasn't an option, she had to meet expectations and if she didn't meet them, her grave would be so much deeper. There was no way out of that, so she forced herself to start walking to school.

The early morning was that kind of blueish dark, signaling that the winter was on its way. The air was crisp and unforgivingly cold, like only late dying autumn mornings could be. The naked trees stood tall and looming, like they were the judges of her fate that had sentenced her to feeling like shit.

Yet again she could feel her mind rambling on endlessly and swirling around her emotions to an uncompilable mess, like she had crashed and wasn't able to receive anything but pain. It was the same numbness that had attacked her when Alex left her the first time. But how could she feel like crying when she felt so detached from herself? She swallowed, trying to push the tears down.

It was like fighting a war against her throat and lungs. The strangling feeling the tears brought upon her couldn't simply be swallowed down and since it felt like her throat was being clogged, it became harder to breathe. Her heart began to beat harder, almost like it was aiding her tears in slowly killing her by asphyxiation. A slow and hard panic settled in her as well, just to make it worse. She had to get it together before she reached the school. Piper would not be able to pretend to be okay if the feelings kept attacking her so viciously. Her breathing was out of hand and she was shaking a bit, there was no way to hide that, no matter how oblivious and uncaring her friends were. She closed her eyes and slowed down her pace, inhaling as deeply as she could. There had to be a way to calm herself down, something good for her to think about that would slow her panic. She stopped and tried hard to ransack her brain for something that would anchor her back into calmness. A minute passed and nothing seemed to do it. Everything seemed so small and distant, like she couldn't tie herself to the event. Not even thinking about Alex seemed to help since she was tied to so many tragic things, but then it came to her. The raven-haired girl was the key to her calmness after all. The kiss. The kiss that had been shared during a blissful night of fun and games. It had been so tender, warm and slow, like Alex had reached out and caressed her heart with it. She found herself longing for that feeling again. Craving the softness of the other's lips against hers. Wanting them to take her away. Wanting those lips and Alex to be her knight in shining armor.

Reluctantly, she opened her eyes, feeling how her heart beat in another rhythm, mainly from remembering the kiss, and her tears didn't feel so present. Taking another steady breath, she started to walk again with that sweet memory as company.

She could see the old brick building towering over the house's surrounding it. As soon as she laid eyes on it, she felt more exhausted than before. It would be a hard day. She had at least one advantage, everyone would talk about what they had done during the break. Since she had nothing she could tell, her friends would just go right back to talking about what they'd done and she could tune that out. She hoped that pretending that the day wasn't there would make it go by faster.

Piper stood in a corridor filled with lookers against the walls, waiting for the first period to start, fidgeting with the sleeves of her shirt. As soon as she had entered the school building she had regretted putting it on. It wasn't especially warm and she wanted a bigger shirt so she could get the sense of being able to hide in it. She didn't feel comfortable in what she was wearing and vowed to herself that the next day she would wear something more comfortable, something that suited her mood. She wasn't used to feeling so shitty, well not to the same extent. Since she met Alex, she had realized that the ones she called her friends weren't that, not even in the slightest. She was just a part of a clique that was shallow and only cared about themselves, much like her parents. She didn't want to be like that; she wanted to be brave like the raven-haired girl and walk her own way, like she wanted to. She just didn't know if she could be brave and feel like shit at the same time.

Piper couldn't get rid of that hard lump in the center of her stomach. The memory of the kiss didn't last long. Sure, it was a comfort to have, but she couldn't make it last the whole day. It kind of lost its glow after a few rounds of replay, which was so sad because it had been such a wonderful experience and it was something she wanted to cherish until she could have it again. _If _she would ever have it again.

Even if the day went by in a sort of hazed blur, it seemed to drag on unnecessarily slow. She couldn't help how short her span of focus was. She didn't really notice it until lunch, when her friends were chatting away about Stephanie's weekend. They were talking about a party she had attended and what happened there. Piper tried to listen, she really did, but once they started talking about who was there, she unconsciously drifted away in her own mind. It wasn't a blissful daydream she entered; it was just her mind endlessly grinding about anything really, just not something that could be considered nice. Sure, the kiss came to mind, but like it had in reality it only lasted a minute or so. As did her mind. Daydreaming can last for quite some time, but she was only "away" for some unkind minutes and then she was back, trying to piece together what her friends had said.

It almost felt like a gift form above when the clock finally struck the end of her school day. Even if she had gotten quite a hefty load of homework to do, she didn't mind it. It was something that would take her mind off of everything else. It was nothing she couldn't handle. She looked forward to going home and just get lost in the books. It was almost a blissful thought until she remembered the fact that her parents would be around. Sure, they never disturbed her when she was doing her homework, but they would be in the house and if she knew them they would most likely fight about something. She just hoped that they could refrain from that for one petty day.

Dinner was suffocating. Her mother drank her white whine faster than usual and kept refilling her glass. It must've been the silent and thick atmosphere that spurred her little drinking marathon on. Her dad seemed to chew his food with a little more force than necessary. They ate mashed potatoes and meatloaf and that didn't need much processing. He kept staring anywhere but at Piper and didn't say anything during the whole time, not even asking Cal how his day had been. The blonde didn't mind the whole silent dinner thing, beside the tension that was killing her. At least she was left alone.

When she was done, she said a silent thanks for the dinner and then slipped up to her room as fast as she could. She could feel her fathers gaze once again on her back, but she really didn't want to talk to him. He would have to come to her if he wanted to say something.

As soon as she got up to her room she sat down and started on her homework. Trying to bury herself in it. Thankfully, time passed and soon she was so tired that she couldn't keep her eyes open.

Piper lay in bed, just starring, like she found herself doing a lot lately. She had shut all the lights off since she found it a bit easier to just be in the darkness. There was nothing to be expected from her in it. She could just be and that was the only comfort she could get. Before her eyes dropped, her phone lit up with its harsh digital light. Immediately her heart started to race. What if it was Alex and she had told her mother? All the possible outcomes of what could've gone down started to play in her head at an incredible speed. Slowly she picked up her phone, confirming that it was the other girl. She swallowed hard, trying to calm herself down before she opened up the message to read it.

What she found in it didn't make her panic, though. Instead it warmed her all the way to the heart. The warmth she had been missing the whole day just lit her up when she read it.

"_I'm thinking about placing an order on your ad. __I am in need of your services, __especially__ cleaning__. __I swear it has nothing to do with me wanting you around. __Just need you here to clean up my messes.__"_

That was the first time Alex had ever taken the initiative to contact her first. That said a whole lot, and Piper let herself think that it was because the raven-haired girl missed her. Piper didn't know where she found the courage to reply to the message like she did, but it was all she could do to keep them in their little play pretend bubble. Piper mused that they both were afraid of the world around them and to leave those words alone and so bold left them both exposed and kind of vulnerable. Saying simple, "_I miss you_", could be so easily shattered. But when they wrapped it around the banter, it didn't have to mean so much, even if it did. Simple could be too sharp sometimes and sharp wasn't something neither of them needed. They needed soft and warmth.

"_Oh, I'm sure. Although, you would have to help me. I may have fudged that resume a bit. I swear it had nothing to do with me wanting you to place an order on it. I mean I'm I woman, I have to be good at cleaning, according to society's standards. Nobody would want a housewife who can't hold a duster correctly."_

Piper sent the message, feeling warm again, if just for a second. Play pretend was also dangerous, because it was fleeting and never lasted long. There always came a time when reality came knocking on one's door. But if she could live in that little bliss for a little while longer, it felt good enough for her. Their banter was anchored in the truth, at least hers was and considering what Alex had sent her, Piper assumed hers was as well. Piper found herself wishing and hoping that the raven-haired girl felt the same as she did; that she missed her too. She didn't have to wait that long to find out. It only took seven minutes until her phone lit up again.

"_I miss you." _

There they were. The simple and bold truth of the digital words that Piper hadn't dared to utter, like she had been afraid of driving the other girl away. Therefore, it shocked Piper to read those words. The raven-haired girl hadn't been that straightforward before, but it was such a relief to finally see the other girl starting to let her in, even if only a little. It was a start.

Her initial shock didn't stop her from typing out a quick response.

"_I miss you too."_


	13. Chapter 13

**AN**: This chapter is brought to you by my lovely friend, who picked me up from the floor, sat me down and talked me straight. Thanks to her, I have inspiration again. Thank you Maugurt, you're the best. And thanks to all of you readers as well, without you guys I wouldn't be writing this, even though it has been scary to write at times. You all give me courage. Thank you, lovelies.

**Another important note:** I am not going to be able to write as much until the summer. This is because of school. I'm writing my thesis and doing a huge project in school which is a part of my education, so I am sorry for this, but when I am finished, I guess around May or something like that, I will pick this up. I am not abandoning it, I just don't have the time to write. I am so sorry, but I thought you wanted to know. And hopefully, this chapter will make the wait easier.

So, just bare with me. I have two story lines that needs to be dealt with and the one I'm guessing you're all more interested in will be there. Okay? This is getting somewhere and _**this is not the end**_. Well, let's get down to business, shall we?

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**The light in the dark**_

She was still wrapped in that thick heavy cloud. Nothing seemed to snap her out of it and her situation at home hadn't improved. Not even slightly. The atmosphere seemed to be even more stiff, like they had ran out of softener to smooth out the cracks in their family picture. So the fractures in it started to spread, thin like spiderwebs. Her parents had noticed, but they both were still busy sewing their protective blankets of lies and denial trying to pretend that the image wouldn't shatter.

The thin cracks had started to become more visible, at least to Piper, like the fact that Cal had started to stay away even more. Even if it was just a couple of days since her outrage against her parents. Her brother hadn't seemed to care before, but no one could be immune to the cold and harsh atmosphere that she called home. It was like a minefield. One misstep, and it all would blow up, but not like _blow up_. It was more like they were filled with gas that would slowly, but surly, kill silently. The looks her father gave her was the worst. It was almost like he was repulsed by her, not that he'd ever been very approving of anything she did, unless she was the best at something. It really felt like he was blaming her for temporarily bursting their finely crafted reverie. Her parents had just patched it up and pretended so bad that it wasn't in complete ruins. Her mother had started to drink even more, which made her talk more loudly. Her voice echoing in the otherwise silent house. No one said anything, beside her mother. She just kept talking on and on about irrelevant things, like how their neighbors had decided to put up new curtains that, according to her mother, were beyond hideous. She kept laughing about it saying it looked like they had bought them at the salvation army. During those outburst, which often happened around the dinner table, no one would say anything. Piper kept staring down at her plate, just like her father and brother.

The blonde just hoped that it didn't get worse, because she really couldn't imagine how worse would look.

Four days of the silent torture almost made Piper want to run away. She was so done with her parents. It was too heavy to come home to their silent war every day. She seriously considered doing what Cal had started doing; staying away. It was so tempting to just avoid it all, since she couldn't seem to fix it. It had been a particularly rough day, that Thursday. Her mother drank so much at dinner that she knocked over her wine glass, but just giggled about it. Her father had looked at her with pure anger, like she was the one responsible for the broken glass and the tainted table cloth. It crushed her to feel that glare. It wasn't her fault that the two of them were acting like idiots, but it sure felt like it when he looked at her like that. And when she went downstairs to make a cup of tea later that evening, she found her mother passed out on the couch, a large drinking glass in front of her, probably containing gin and tonic.

On that forth night, she lay in bed planning how she could run away from home. She wondered how she would be able to find food, where she would stay, how she could get enough money and where she would go. She had almost come up with a suitable plan, but then it was like all of her thoughts ran straight into a wall. She couldn't go. She couldn't run away. Alex needed her, or that was at least what she thought. Maybe she had completely deluded herself that it was like that. It didn't really matter, though, since one thing was for certain; s_he needed Alex. _She couldn't just drop everything and leave the raven-haired girl behind. That would hurt her more than what her parents were doing.

It had also been four days since they last talked. Piper had ached during those days, but couldn't find the courage to contact the other more than writing a tame _"Goodnight, I hope you're okay." _each night before she went to bed. Hoping that the next day would come bearing a reply from the other, but there was never a new message to wake up to. It started to wear thin on her, since she became sick with worry every time she thought about it. There were too many scenarios that could've happened and none of them contained a happy ending. It was more like everyone of them had a deadly outcome.

On that Thursday night, she found herself _craving _Alex's presence_._ She felt kind of desperate for it so she summoned up the courage in her and added _"I miss you." _to her nightly message. She had stared at her phone and willed the other girl to answer her. Hoping that her thoughts would somehow be received by the other girl and make her reply to it. Even a simple _"I miss you too"_ would make her feel better, just so Piper could see that she was still there. Nonetheless, her phone screen stayed as black as ever and soon enough, she fell asleep.

On Friday morning, she woke up to a new message from the raven-haired girl. She had received it at half past three.

"_I'll be at the library at 1 p.m."_ Piper's stomach fluttered when she read it. It was simple and didn't offer much and wasn't really the reply she was hoping for. Well, in a way it was. Either Alex just wanted to meet her and hang out, or she had actually told her mother like their deal was. The blonde was almost praying for it to be the latter. It was better if it was the latter, because that would mean that maybe the evil man was out of her house. And that needed to happen.

It was really well timed that Alex wanted to meet her on a Friday. Piper had a self study period on Fridays which she could sneak away from and say that she wanted to go to another library to study. Since she had never caused any trouble and never handed in anything late; she would be able to go. And Piper was grounded so she was expected home after school so that made Friday the perfect day for them to meet. She was so overwhelmed with feelings. They would meet that same day. Piper hurried to write out a reply, even though her hands shook terribly. Her heart raced so fast and she felt slightly dizzy, like she forgot to breathe.

"_Will you still be there at around 2 p.m? I can't get away from school until then..." _She still couldn't manage to restock her lungs with a sufficient amount of air and her skin was crawling as she waited for Alex to reply. When none had come one for about ten minutes, she had to force herself to get dressed and go to school. The text came to her really late at night and Alex was probably still asleep. That had to be it, but she couldn't help but think of other possible explanations as to why Alex hadn't replied. The anxiety ran thick in her veins as she walked to school, like it wanted to beat its way out of her, be free of the claustrophobic prison called her body. She wouldn't mind being free from the anxiety. At least it was better to feel something other than that cloud she had been walking around in. It made her somewhat alert and it felt like she had finally woke up from a long dream. It wasn't good though, considering the fact that she couldn't seem to focus on anything. She was just waiting and watching the clock slowly tick forward.

Five minutes before the bell was about to ring and call to lunch, her phone vibrated in her pocket and she reached for it with lightning fast reflexes.

"_Yeah, I'll see you there." _It was such a rush to read those five words and they made all the stress just pour out of her, making her sit back in her chair. It felt so good to know that she would get to see Alex. As always, the comfort of that knowledge only lasted a few blissful seconds. Then she started to wonder if Alex had really told her mother. Considering her previous reluctance to do so, Piper had little faith that that was the case. But hope was a lingering feeling and no matter how hard one tries to rid themselves of it, it's still there. Shining vaguely like a kind of white noise. Like a naïve little child wishing to see Santa Clause the night before Christmas. Piper guessed that that was what she had left, that tiny fleck of hope. Maybe then, everything would be alright. It may have been a child's wish, but it was all she had. Yet again the anxiety was upon her, but more smothering than before. It wasn't that energizing stressing kind, but more like the drowning kind.

She sat tense through lunch all by herself, since she had arrived before her... _friends. _She saw them coming into the cafeteria, but they didn't see her and she was kind of grateful for it. It actually felt better to be alone. They had nothing to say that would even remotely distract or interest her and she had nothing that she wanted to say to them. It was like a natural break, like earth's tectonic plates that keeps float further and further away from each other. She couldn't really feel sad about it. Alex had showed her that she was better off without those kind of people. Without even touching her food she exited the cafeteria and headed to her locker hoping to find a book in there that would make passing time easier.

She found herself aching, needing for the clock to finally hit two pm. English had never been so boring or felt so drawn-out. She had no interest in what her teacher was saying since it all sounded like static noise in her head. It was so annoying to hear so she shut off and took more interest in how low the sun stood in the sky. Occasionally she looked at her phone. It didn't help the matter since every time she looked at it, only a few minutes had passed. She sighed, maybe engaging herself in the lesson would make the time go faster, she thought, and turned her attention to the front of the classroom.

Like a gift sent from heaven, the clock finally rang and she was able to pack her bag and leave.

Her breath turned into a white cloud, slithering it's way up towards the slowly darkening sky as she walked with a rapid pace. Her heart was beating fast and hard for so many reasons, but she was determined. It was finally time to find out what Alex wanted.

When she entered the library, it didn't seems as bright as it did when they last met there. As if the sun had sucked out some of the florescent light, claiming the right to light up the world alone and not aided by some manufactured lights.

She didn't know where in the library the other would be, but she made her way back to her favorite place, figuring that the other would be there since the library wasn't that big and that was the last place they had seen each other.

Piper stopped as she spotted the characteristic black hair and clothes of the other. She sat bent over the table reading a book, looking completely lost in the world before her. What the blonde saw was almost like it was a picture describing serenity. It felt almost sinful to disturb the other when she sat like that, in peace, but she was there for a reason and she desperately wanted the other's attention. It always felt so good to see the other no matter the situation. She hoped that the other could feel the same calm she felt when she was around the raven-haired girl. Even if they both were a tad bit tragic, she always felt comfort being in Alex's company. It didn't matter that it hadn't even been a week since they last saw each other, Piper couldn't get enough of the other.

"Hey." Piper breathed out. It seemed that Alex always took her breath away with just her mere presence. The raven-haired girl lifted her head from the book and locked her eyes with Piper. The reply was instantaneous, with the same heaviness to it. They both paused for a moment, like they were unsure of their next move. It was kind of surprising that they still seemed to be a bit awkward in each other's company. as if they didn't know where each other's boundaries lay. Or maybe it was more that they weren't sure how much they wanted to put their hearts on their sleeves. Alex always seemed so guarded and in a sense, Piper was too. She hadn't really talked to the raven-haired girl about her situation at home nor had she told her how it had escalated during the last few days. There had never been enough time for it and Piper just really wanted to focus on the other. She was the one who needed support and a safe haven more than anything.

Still maintaining eye contact, Alex rose from the chair and took sure steps towards the blonde. Piper hugged her fiercely when she got within reach.

The atmosphere hung heavy in the air around them. It felt like it was such a finality, like they were at a crossroad and they had to choose whether to go together or part ways.

Alex's eyes were unreadable, but they kept their focus on Piper's when they sat down. The blonde felt how her pulse kept getting faster and harder. Her hands had started to shake as well. She tried to take several deep breaths to calm her nerves. The other seemed to notice her deep breaths and wavering gaze.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked in her calm and low voice. How was it that the other always seemed to be in control? She always seemed so calm and assured, like she wasn't trapped in her own chaos.

"Yeah, yeah." Piper breathed out, taking another deep breath, feeling a lot better just by hearing Alex's voice. She was there and it was about time to end her waiting agony, but she didn't know how to say it. So she just started by returning the assuring phrase.

"How are _you_?" Piper asked, her voice a little hushed and soft. It still felt like she was playing with fire, seeing how close she could get before she had to back down to not get burned. Alex just nodded, adverting her eyes while she let a hand run through her hair.

Piper didn't want to take the next step. She didn't want to ask the next question, because it kind of felt like those words would drive her off the cliff, like she would step right out into thin air, with nothing to land on. But she had to, she had to be brave for the raven-haired girl.

"So..." Piper started, but paused because it felt like something was stuck in her throat, trapping the words that were to come. The raven-haired girl still didn't look at her, probably already anticipating what she was going to say. Wasn't it better to just throw it out there instead of leaving them in a kind of agonizing limbo? But how would she ask? Just straight forward seemed too... Straight and _harsh_. Piper had come to the conclusion many times that neither of them needed harsh. But there was no silk gloves left. She couldn't handle the matter any more delicately than she previously had and maybe that hadn't been a good thing either. It just needed to be out there so her heart could finally rest from its hysteric marathon. As always her mouth opened without her consent and before she could decide what to properly say, it was just out there.

"Did you tell her?" It was out there before she could think twice about it. In a way it was good, since the hard part was dealt with. All she had to do was to free fall with it and wait to see how hard she would land. Her hands started to shake again. Everything was still for a moment, beside the humming from the old light tubes, like they were slowly dying.

"Yeah..." Alex whispered, but it wasn't louder than a puff of air, like the books around them absorbed all of the words they were saying and storing them in their dusty pages. If anything, Piper's breath of relief was louder than anything they had ever said to each other. Her trembling hands didn't stop. Her heart beat so heavily and it was such a rush to hear Alex say it. However, there was another huge step to take. Nothing was every easy. Piper was learning that as they went.

"What did she say?" The blonde fought hard to not rush over her words or let her voice tremble. Her eyes hadn't left the other. She was so still, like she was reliving the moment again. Piper could not imagine how it would've played out. It kind of wasn't her place to do so either, but seeing as Alex was so guarded she figured that she was like that all the time and that must've made telling her mother so hard. And maybe it was such a dumb thing to ask, but Piper had to know that her mother had done something about it.

Still, Piper was so proud of the other for finally saying something to her mother. She wanted to grasp the other's hand. It felt like the only comfort she could give, but she was unsure if Alex would allow it. And the table created a barrier, making it feel like they sat so much farther away from each other. She waited to make contact because she saw how Alex struggled to keep herself together.

"God." Alex trailed off taking a deep breath, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. Like the strength she needed to continue laid there. Piper could see how she fought and wished she hadn't put the other through so much stress and agony, but it was for the best. But when Alex continued, Piper's heart split into even tinier shreds.

"She- She cried so much." Alex said and bit her lip after the statement, closing her eyes hard and Piper felt the pain. She finally reached for Alex's hand. She had to do something other than to sit passive and watch the pain pour out of the other. Piper had to show the raven-haired girl that she was there and wanted to take some of the pain away.

"And... She apologized so much and just didn't know what to do with herself." Alex clenched her jaws, but it wasn't in anger. It was more like frustration or maybe hopelessness.

"It was a long time since she hugged me that hard. Her four jobs doesn't help that matter." Alex laughed humorlessly. Piper could see her falling apart, bit by tiny bit. The blonde didn't know what to say. She just sat there kind of hopeless herself, the tears clouding her eyes like a looming autumn storm gathers at the horizon.

"She ran around the house, throwing... _h__is_ stuff into a box and then just... threw it out of the window." The hollow laugh was still there and her voice was so hushed and hoarse. Alex's face was at war with itself. She was so desperately trying to keep it together, trying so unsuccessfully to keep her emotions in line. Her grip on Piper's hand hardened. There was nothing more that needed to be said. That fucking sorry excuse of a man was out of Alex and her mom lives. He wouldn't hurt them anymore. That was Piper's naïve wish. And God, did she hope she was right. She got up from her chair and rounded the table. Without another word, she hugged Alex tighter than she had ever done.

"You're so brave, you did really good." It may have sounded belittling, like she was trying to encourage a little child, but she didn't find other words that would have been closer to the truth than those simple words were. The raven-haired girl didn't say anything, but it wasn't needed. The strength of her grip told Piper what no words could've. True relief can only be conveyed like that.

"I'm so proud of you." That's when she felt them. The wet drops of salty tears staining her neck. Alex just buried her head further into her neck and tightened her grip on the blonde.

"It's over now."


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: **I'm so sorry I kept you waiting so long... But I've had like a week worth of free days, so there was literally no time for me to write and it's been hard to write this since I feel like I haven't found the style of writing... But let's just jump right to it. This is one monster of a chapter!

As always, thank you guys for still sticking with this story, even though it's over a year old. I know, I suck... Hopefully I'll finish it soon.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Broken mirrors on the bathroom floor**_

Piper's heart was pounding so hard, yet achingly slow. It felt like she had lost her hearing since everything around them seemed to have lost its sound. There were no buzzing or static noise from anything. All the blonde could hear was Alex's broken breaths and she could only feel how the raven haired girl forcefully twitched to hold back sobs. The wetness she had felt against her neck seemed permanent and she felt that it grew bigger as time around them seemed to lose its meaning. She could feel her own tears clouding her vision. It didn't make a lot of sense why they chose to appear. She was supposed to be happy, relived. It was over. Alex was out of harms way. But seeing Alex so absolutely broken kind of broke her too. She couldn't even fathom what the other girl must've gone through. And Piper just really wished she could take the pain away from the other. It didn't matter that she already felt her pain if she couldn't take it away from the other. The pain she felt inside was hollow and heavy. Crawling in her throat and blocking it. She couldn't help herself as she grasped the other harder and buried a hand in her raven hair. The smooth locks felt like the comfort of newly washed sheets and she felt so home and safe even though they both were lost and broken.

She slowly started to stroke the other's hair and felt how her heart started to calm its vicious pace. The stroking gave her something to focus on, something that would hopefully also calm the other. She remembered so vividly how she had stroked the other's hair that first faithful night they met. How the other hadn't objected, but instead fallen asleep in her arms. It felt like it had happened a lifetime ago, even though she could remember exactly how she felt Alex grow heavier in her arms and how her breath had fanned over her T-shirt.

After some time, Alex stilled in her arms. Her breaths on Piper's neck evened out. They were warm and moist, but turned cold as soon as the other would inhale. The cold of Alex's breath felt like missing her. Cold and uncomfortable. Piper hoped that she wouldn't get to experience that again. It felt like Alex was the only one left. The only one left who cared. Piper squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't think about that. Couldn't let the looming tears fall. It's wasn't the place nor the time for that.

She felt how Alex started to move away from her and she felt like she removed a puzzle piece from herself. The one piece that made the rest of them make sense. She released her grip reluctantly and was met with a heartbreaking sight. The other girl's eyes were red and swollen and her cheeks were stained with salty tears. Her glasses had built up fog from the hot tears that had escaped and she put the useless lenses on the table in front of her diverting her gaze in what was most likely shame.

"Fuck... I'm-I'm sorry." Alex said down to the table while she tried in vain to wipe the remaining tears away from her face. Her voice was harsh and strained, like she was still trying to suppress tears and Piper felt heavier than the second before. It was like a punch in the face to see the other so broken down. It wouldn't get easier no matter how many times she saw Alex like that.

"No, don't ever be sorry for anything, Alex. It's okay." Piper said and went to dry the other's stained cheeks. It seemed to calm Alex down a bit, but she still hung her head and Piper felt like she needed to tell Alex just how strong, brave and fantastic she was. She was just such a fantastic person that it almost hurt. She was worth so much better and deserved everything good in the world.

"You're so strong and you'll get trough this and I'll always be here if you want me." The blonde wiped the last of the tears from the other's cheeks and embraced Alex again. She could feel Alex's warmth and the silent thank you that came with it. The hug was much shorter than the previous one, but it managed to warm Piper up, make her feel like there was some hope after all.

When they let go of each other, the raven haired girl still held her gaze down at the table, but looked a lot calmer. They came to a still again, Piper unsure of what to do and Alex fiddling with the discarded glasses still trying to hide that she was wiping some stray tears away. There wasn't anything more to really say about it. _It was over. _She wasn't really _needed_ anymore. Alex hadn't commented on what Piper had said so, maybe Alex didn't need her _ever_ again? What if it was the last time they ever saw each other? She had tried telling herself that so many times, deluding herself that it was okay for them never to see each other again. When faced with the actual reality of what it would mean, she felt her heart shrink and beat harder at the same time, causing her lungs to slowly collapse, making her breathless for a moment. The only one that seemed to care about her could be gone. Tears sprung to her eyes, like on cue, coating her retinas like protective shields. Her lungs didn't seem to be able to inflate like they should. She felt so breathless. So lost. She had turned away everything, mainly because she felt that it had lost its meaning. But without Alex, there would be nothing left, not even the false pretense of her crumbled facade. No one to talk to, nothing to look forward to, just plain simple nothing. No more safety nets. And just to add insult to injury, she couldn't help but kind of hate herself for being so selfish. It was _her_ choice to turn her "friends" away. It was _her_ choice to mouth off to her parents. _She_ was the only one to blame for the hollow black hole she had created around herself.

That didn't mean that she didn't want Alex around. God, that was the only thing she wished for. But the world doesn't care for wishes and Piper couldn't force her company on the other. She wasn't needed anymore. It was a natural point to part ways at. And somehow, she had to be okay with it. And pretense had surrounded Piper her whole life, so she should be good at it, right? So, Alex was out of harms way and the blonde had helped her get there and they would part ways. _That was okay. _

In her panicked downward spiral of hurt, she hadn't noticed that Alex had shifted in the chair, her spring green eyes studying the blonde with endless compassion. And fuck, it hurt to think about never seeing them again. To never see Alex again. Pretense couldn't heal that wound.

She didn't know what to say, so everything just came out all at once with no sense of direction. She just wanted to keep it short and simple, she didn't need another slash to the injury she had created over just a few seconds.

"So, okay. I guess I'll be going then. I'll just go home, I am actually grounded so I should be home soon. Hopefully Mom hasn't fallen asleep on the couch yet. And maybe I don't have to witness my dad's walk of shame... Sorry, I'm babbling. It's nothing to worry about, really. It was so nice to see you again." Piper blurted out fast, forcing a strained smile upon her lips. It wasn't really a smile, more of a twitch to her lips, like the past weeks had erased her ability to form her facial muscles to a smile.

"Woah, slow down, Piper." Alex said and stood up from her chair and Piper felt herself shy away from the other, moving a bit backwards so there was space between them.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked in her gentle voice, still rough and hushed from crying.

"Oh, nothing, I just figured that you wanted me to leave. I've done my part and I'm just a stranger who you happen to stumble upon." Piper actually managed to plaster the most fake smile she had ever mustered to put on. It felt so wrong to do this to Alex, to put up this front for her when the other had always been so genuine, albeit very cautious from the beginning which was warranted. And she hated to play the "stranger card" against the other. They both knew they had passed that stage from the first moment they started to talk and for Piper to just pass it off as if Alex meant nothing more to her than a random stranger on the street was bound to hurt. Piper wasn't sure she could forgive herself if she left Alex believing it was true. She could feel how her eyes slowly died, concealing her feelings, smothering them to shield herself from the hurt she felt thumping in her chest. She must've looked like a creepy porcelain doll, starring out in dead space with dull glass eyes and that forced, thin painted smile.

"Do you really see me as _just __a_ _stranger_?" Alex furrowed her eyebrows, eyes looking stormy and betrayed, like a ship that has blindly trusted a lighthouse only for it to lead the ship straight into more treacherous waters. Piper closed her eyes and absorbed the hurt in Alex's voice and felt herself sink further down into the floor. She hadn't meant for the conversation to turn the way it had, she hadn't meant to hurt the raven-haired girl. She opened her eyes to apologize and explain herself, but she didn't get the chance when Alex continued.

"So you lied to me when you said that you liked me?" Piper was so stunned by the statement that she was too tongue tied to answer or correct the absurdity of what Alex had just said. The raven-haired girl grew silent, leaving the room dangerously quiet. The blonde could almost hear the other's anger that filled the pause she made as if to amplify it. Letting the feeling grow heavier to underline it's importance. She felt trapped under the massive weight of it, leaving her speechless yet again.

"Is that a thing you have? Lying to make people like you so you can feel good about yourself for a while? And when you've had enough, you walk away?" Piper could see how the raven-haired girl's body tensed with every words she said. Raising the walls just a bit higher every time a word left her mouth. The blonde was powerless to stop Alex's tirade or stop the walls from growing too high to ever climb over them again.

"Is that what I am to you? A nobody that you feel _nothing_ for? Something you can use for your own purpose?" Alex raised her voice an inch and it felt like steel. It was so full of blame and anger and she could feel the bruises her words had caused the raven-haired girl, like they were littering her own body. And Alex gave as good as she got as the words coming out of the others mouth hurt her just as well and caused just as big, purple bruises as she had caused.

"You took me in and _cared_ for me. So, what? I'm just a feel-good-project to you? Something to increase your karma? Which you apparently felt that you needed." Alex clenched her jaws and her eyes were like brick walls on an autumn night. Hard and cold.

"And you were just going to throw me away when your _charity work_ was fulfilled so you could walk away feeling absolved because apparently, I don't matter to you." The words rained down like punches, knocking the air out of her. It hurt that Alex would think so badly about her, but what other interpretation could her previous words have provoked? It was completely justified what Alex was saying, but it hurt more than anything to hear how she made herself look. It also hurt to hear that the raven-haired girl only thought of herself as something that Piper might want to throw away when Alex was the best and most precious gift she had ever received.

Alex grabbed her leather jacket that hung over the chair that she sat in. Too swiftly for the blonde to even react. As she passed Piper, she threw the hardest punch yet.

"_I trusted you._" Alex snarled with a voice so rough and cracked it couldn't conceal that massive amount of agony that hid beneath the harshness of her tone.

Finally, Piper found her voice, but it may have been too late. But it didn't matter, she broke like a dam in the spring. Breaking from all that she had tried to stuff away. Overwhelmed by how quickly and harshly Alex had reacted to Piper's attempt to save herself the pain of their separation. The inevitable doom hurt like a lightning through her. Sharp and looming, like the pain reverberated in her bones causing them to crack on impact.

"No, God no." Piper sobbed out, closing her eyes, hoping that the other would hear her and stay. God, how could she be so stupid, thinking that her words wouldn't hurt the other? Or cause this massive forced breach between them. Once again she had ruined everything, too caught up in her mind to even consider something else and assess the situation.

"I'm sorry..." Piper felt the tears stream down her cheeks and couldn't stop the sobs from ripping through her body. The "sorry's" fell from her lips in between sobs making the pain in her pulse like a disease. At last she was broken. Truly and openly broken. She was so tangled in her own messes that she couldn't see the end of it.

"Please don't leave." She hopelessly threw out, clinging to the hope that the other would stay like a cliffs edge. A last desperate attempt to untangle herself. _To save herself._

She didn't hear the footsteps approaching her. She didn't hear the thud of the leather jacket hitting the floor. She didn't hear Alex's hushes. All she could feel was being in a warm embrace all of a sudden and a hand in her hair, slowly stroking it. And she cried even harder when it felt like she didn't deserve it. Alex continued to hush her, continued to comfort her while Piper's tears continued to paint her cheeks, surely creating a puddle against Alex's collarbone. They stood like that for a while, the blonde trying to get her breathing to cooperate.

"Hey." Alex gently tried to get Piper to raise her head from its hiding place in the crook her neck, but Piper didn't want to let go. The raven-haired girl's voice was cracked and still uneven. The blonde hated herself for making the other be the strong one when Alex was still so fragile. It was so unfair of Piper to make her take care of her instead of the other way around.

"Look at me, Piper." Alex said gently, voice heavy and hurt. And Piper's first instinct had become to protect the other whenever she was hurt, so she raised her head, even though she wanted to stay hidden in the crook of the other's neck and never come back up again.

"I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to. Okay?" Alex said, soft green eyes studying Piper with gentle worry. There was a flicker of hope in the eyes and the blonde needed to feed the flicker. There was no way she wanted to ever let go of the other again.

"Please don't leave. It's just... I'm- I'm just..." Her voice cracked and broke. She wished so badly that she could explain herself, but she simply couldn't.

"I'm sorry." Piper shut her eyes again and took cover in the other's neck.

"Okay, let's go." Alex stated and grabbed Piper's hand, picking up her jacket and lead them to the door. The blonde didn't question it, trusting the other completely.

They walked slowly, hand in hand, towards a destination that was unknown to Piper, but it didn't matter. Alex was leading them with purpose and at that moment she would follow the other to the end of the world. Her head hung low. Some stray tears making their way down, feeling like winter stroked her cheeks. But Alex was there, leading her away from winter and all that was cold.

It had begun to darken outside. Only the streetlights illuminating them with their cold, harsh light. The asphalt beneath their feet glistened with the autumn wetness. Piper felt so tired, like she had cried out her energy. Letting it puddle against the other, like she spilled out a piece of her soul through them. Everything the past few weeks seemed to suck the energy out of her. She was always so tired, but lately she had begun to feel exhausted, like every time she exhaled a bit of her soul escaped. And the thought of what awaited her at home felt so draining. The thought of running away with Alex struck her again. They could do it. Live together somewhere far, far away from it all. Alex suddenly stopped and Piper was a little startled by the abrupt halt, which broke her out of her running-away-thoughts. She looked at the other girl to see what was wrong, but she just looked right ahead of her. Piper directed her gaze to the same place and only saw a little house that looked run down. It had a couch hung in a big tree, covered with a tarp, like some sort of makeshift hammock. It looked to be a house that could belong to a trailer park, but it had to be on the outskirts of one, since there wasn't many houses around and the naked forest stood tall behind it. The house looked kind of crooked and the paint was peeling. It looked kind of eerie in the early night, like it was that kind of house that people would talk about and say that it may be haunted or junkies would sneak in and shoot up.

Piper was confused as to why they had stopped in front of the house, maybe Alex just wanted to tell a story about it to lighten the mood.

"I figured you didn't want to go home... So, I thought we could go to my place..." Alex said with a hushed voice. Piper stiffened when she heard the raven-haired girl's hushed proclamation. Her cheeks reddened, ashamed of her previous thoughts. She wanted to step on her own foot, thankfully her clumsy thoughts never left her head. It was so sweet of the other to think about her messy rant from before and considered the fact that she didn't want to go home. Alex cleared her throat and the insecurity from the other girl could be felt in the air between them.

"I know it isn't much, but... Yeah." Alex trailed off and Piper looked at the other with big eyes. She didn't know how she should react to ensure the other or what she would say to take away Alex's obvious anxiety about the situation.

"Thank you. I appreciate it." Piper said. She thought that by showing Alex that her house wasn't a big deal, which it really wasn't, that it would appease the other.

"I really like the hammock. It would be nice to read in it during the summer." Piper said and smiled a bit, trying to divert the tension. She really like it, it looked so comfortable.

"Yeah, it's nice. It came with the house." Alex said, still kind of hushed, but she sounded a bit relieved. They stood still for a while, like the other was gathering up the courage to ask Piper to go inside. The blonde exhaled, thinking that maybe it was better for her to suggest something so the tension would ease a bit.

"It's kind of cold. Maybe we could go inside?" Piper said and gently squeezed the other's hand to encourage action from the other.

"Yeah, sure. Of course." Alex husked out with a distant voice and started to move over the lifeless lawn. The front porch creaked when they stepped onto it. The floorboards of it were dark and worn down, showing the deep cracks in the dry wood that even the night dew didn't seem to cure. Alex put the key in the lock, letting go of Piper's hand as she went to gently tackle the door. The blonde's hand felt so cold all of a sudden, like Alex's hand had transferred heat to her body, like it was her life link. The door clicked open and they both went inside. The raven-haired girl turned on the light and the room, a combined kitchen with a living room, was illuminated by a dusky yellow light. The walls around them had a light wooden panel that seemed to suck up the light from the lamp, making the rooms looking even more murky. Alex took her hand again, returning some of the warmth that she lost, and lead her in the opposite direction of the living room. The short hallway lead to three doors and the other girl lead her to the one on the right.

The room was kind of cramped up with a twin bed, desk, closet and a tall bookshelf. Posters with various rock bands littered the walls and the closet. The bed was unmade and some clothes were scattered on the floor. The same kind of yellow light lit it up. Once again the other let go of her hand, leaving Piper to stand on her own as she sat down on the bed. The blonde took it all in, the various posters and the bookshelf. She slowly walked to it, trying to avoid stepping on the clothes that lay in her way. She quickly scanned the books, trying to evaluate the other's taste, feeling Alex's eyes on her. There were classics, such as 1984, The perfume, How to kill a mocking bird and The great Gatsby, but she also saw new ones as The hunger games, Harry Potter and the likes. Somehow she wasn't in the least bit surprised by the other's taste. Classic's mixed with modern ones, so wide and worldly. Even though the blonde hadn't known the other that long it felt just like Alex.

"You have a really broad taste." Piper said and stroked the back of a book. The shelves were stacked to the brim. Some were even stacked on top of others.

"Yeah." Alex hummed out. Piper continued to scan the shelves for a while until she felt the other's gaze so intensely penetrating, almost demanding her attention. The blonde turned around and noticed the shift in the atmosphere as Alex studied her from her place on the bed. Piper could still feel how her eyes stung from her previous tears and how they had dried on her cold cheeks. It felt like dried up rivers painted her face. She met the other's gaze. Almost immediately wanting to turn away from it. It was so sympathetic and worried and she so didn't deserve it. She was the one who was supposed to be worried for the other.

"So... What happened in the library?" Alex softly asked and looked at Piper expectantly. The blonde swallowed hard. She didn't really want to talk about her embarrassing breakdown. It was just so petty and irrelevant. Alex was so much more traumatized and she was the one needing support and not Piper. The blonde sat down on the bed, suddenly feeling so tired. She didn't know how to explain herself. Didn't even know where to begin. She met the other's gaze, trying so hard to tell her there wasn't any words for what had happened. Her eyes were wide and her throat felt so dry, mind going so fast trying to grasp at some kind of explanation.

It started to feel like that time again. The time where the rest of the world just fell away. Where secrets floated to the surface and nothing else mattered. It was that special kind of seriousness. The air felt thick and Piper felt the tears pressing on again. She had to try and give some kind of explanation to the other, no mater how ugly it may be.

"Sometimes... I talk without thinking and sometimes I think too much and it just sort of... Implodes... and explodes at the same time." Her voice felt so dry and strained. A stray tear made it's way down, but the mood made her just let go of her inhibitions. Nothing mattered. It didn't matter who was the most broken one or who deserved what.

"And when I start I can't stop. It's like chain reaction." Piper continued, feeling the tears stack in up in her throat. She was overflowing, the library had been the tipping point. The blonde just couldn't seem to stop.

"And then I just sort of persuade myself that what I'm thinking is true. It's like my mother does. She tries so hard to just stuff shit away and then convinces herself that it's all fine and nothing is ever wrong." Piper whispered out, her gaze turned down towards her fiddling hands just spilling her soul onto Alex's messy covers. They were just as messy as she was it was only fitting that she would expose herself to them. The tears started to blur her vision since her eyes seemed to just be unseeing mirrors of her pain.

"So you have just talked yourself into liking me then?" Alex softly asked, no hint of resentment or accusation in her voice. Even so, Piper's gaze snapped up to the other so fast, making the tears fall like waterfalls. No matter how soft the other's voice may have been it still felt like guilt pierced through her stomach with an ice needle. That was what guilt felt like; lightning cold ice. And her stomach twisted sickeningly.

"No. No, no, no." She breathed out, her eyes glued to the other set.

"I really do like you. You're the closest thing to home I have." Piper squeezed out through her constricting throat. The floodgate was open. She couldn't hold them down any longer or anything else for that matter. It had to be let out.

"You're the only one I have left, but that's not only why I like you. You're so genuine and funny and just so... great. You're the only one I want to be around." It started to hurt to speak, but she wanted to say so much more. Wanted to explain further how much the other meant to her. She closed her eyes trying to gather the strength she needed. But she only managed to break down even more.

"And-and..." The sobs took over her failing voice and she felt Alex's arms around her again and she just let go of everything, clinging to the other like she had needed on so many other occasions, digging her fingers into Alex's shirt. She felt the other do the same, like she wanted to hold her together. It was so tender and nice, like she was finally home again.

"It's okay, just let it all out." The raven-haired girl whispered out and held her tighter.

"It's just so stupid..." Piper sobbed out, burying her head deeper in the other girl's neck. Piper felt one of Alex's hands start to stroke her hair and it was calming. It felt like lazy waves that continued to softly stroke the shoreline.

"Nothing is stupid if it's hurting you." Alex continued to whisper. Piper really tried to believe the words. Tried to allow herself to feel how much she hurt. She had done it a few days ago, so why couldn't she just allow herself that when the raven-haired girl offered her the opportunity? Alex offered her the tape so why just not accept it when she was so obviously broken and needed to be taped together?

"Mom just drinks herself to sleep every night. And she sits at dinner, drunk out of her mind, and laughs and makes jokes and dad just... Sits there like it's not happening." Piper whispered, clutching Alex harder to herself. Dinner scenes from the past week started to flash by and the tension from the memories almost smothered her with their lack of air and pure hostility. It always felt like if she moved just a tiny inch in the wrong direction they would come down on her like the wrath of a thousand thunderstorms. She felt so powerless to stop any of it. Piper always wondered how Cal handled it. If he drowned himself in weed or if he also had someone like Alex.

Piper took a deep breath to shake it all away. There was more of that to come, more smothering ugliness.

"And dad just acts like it's my fault. He keeps staring at me with such blame and it really feels like it's my fault since I lashed out on them. I'm not supposed to do that. I'm just supposed to go with it. But I can't. I'm so tired..." Piper sat up, dragging herself out from the other's grip, but Alex didn't let go. She took both of her hands and stroked them just as softly as she had stroked Piper's hair. It gave her courage to continue to spill her secrets.

"And I don't know how he does it. He comes home basically every night smelling of different perfumes and with that stupid satisfied small fucking smile and I just know. I know he's been cheating on her again. And then he blames me?!" Piper sobbed out and bent her head, like the weight of the thoughts were pushing her down into the bed.

"And it's all so stupid and petty, but I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to stop it from hurting." More tears crashed down on the bed. Sobs wrecking her body further forward, like she was finally bowing down under the pressure. She's at the breaking point. Only one more thing would make her snap and fall down and crash.

"Hey, Pipes... Stop it, okay? I already told you, it's not stupid okay?" Alex let go of her hands and put them on her cheeks, lifting her head to engage eye contact. Piper lifted her broken mirrors and met Alex's. The blonde just shook her head and leaned in again to bury her head in the other's neck and the raven-haired girl just embraced her again, letting Piper cry out the final bit of hurt in her.

After a while, when the tension had left them, it felt like they were back in their protective bubble again. There was nothing outside of it and no worries inside of it. Piper didn't have to worry about her dad coming home late smelling like whiskey, cigars and oriental perfume or seeing her mother passed out somewhere in the house smelling of gin. When Piper finally calmed down, Alex got up and got a book and started to read from it. That was the most soothing thing she had ever received in a long while and it made her feel completely safe again. Sure, the hurt was still there, it wouldn't ease up in just one night, but it felt a lot easier to carry around. And Alex was still there. She wouldn't go anywhere.

Unknowing of the time, they stayed still and soft just existing in each other's presence once again. It wasn't until Alex received a text from her mother, that would be arriving home shortly, that got Piper to acknowledge that time was existing and a thing that makes the world spin and not just the other's warm heartbeats.

"What time is it?" Piper softly asked.

"10 pm." Alex answered. Piper practically jumped out of the bed, panic searing through her body, too aware of what the consequences of her late arrival at home would cause.

"Shit. I need to get home. I'm still grounded. Fuck, my dad will kill me." Piper blurted out and kind of froze in her place, a bewildered and wild gaze painted her face, heart racing fast with terror. She was so on edge and it felt like she had been chocked to life again, harshly awoken from a gentle dream.

"Fuck." Piper forced out and put her hands in her hair, grasping it hard. In just seconds their bubble had burst, again, and forced her to violently crash back into reality. For once in her life she desperately hoped that her dad was out with some woman and that her mom was passed out somewhere in the house. She closed her eyes again and whispered out:

"Fuck."


	15. Chapter 15

**AN**: I'm kind of back to my regular update pace again. I hope you all are still interested in this story, since I don't really think I can work this out in one or two more chapters. I think I need a couple more to wrap it up. But it's hard to tell in advance.

Anyway, thanks to all of you who are still reading this and to you all who left reviews, favorites and followed the story. Thank you so much for still being interested in this. I hope this longer than normal chapter makes up for all the waiting you've all been forced to endure.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Ethereal darkness**_

Piper just stood there in frozen panic, hands still in her hair, not really sure what to do, even if the most logical thing she could do was to start heading home. But something in her just wouldn't compute, making her unable to move or think. Yet again, she was in a situation out of control, brought upon herself, by herself. Her inevitable talent; to tangle herself even further, harder in a web of helplessness. Unable to see the beginning or the end of the coil, paralyzing her further. She knew that there would be consequences to her decision to stay at the raven-haired girl as long as she had. Sometimes it almost felt like no matter if she followed her parents rules or didn't, there were always consequences. Other times it wasn't even the matter of breaking _their_ rules or social rules. It almost felt like no matter what she did, she was always in the wrong. Forcing her to almost constantly walk around on eggshells as not to step on those landmines that were her parents delicately constructed reveries.

Alex rose from the bed and gently touched her arm, pulling her out of her paralyzed state. Her wild eyes snapped to the raven-haired girl's calm ones. Alex's eyes softened even more and a sliver of worry could be seen there. They were so inviting and warm and Piper would give anything to forever be able to drown in them. It made her relax enough to release her hands from her hair and made them slouch at her sides.

"Do you want me to follow you home?" The other said softly, stroking her hand down Piper's arm until she reached her hand and took it in hers. The simple movement calmed her down, but made her chest constrict and her throat dry up. She didn't want to leave again, not knowing when they would see each other the next time. She suspected that she may have abandonment issues. At least it started to look that way around the raven-haired girl.

"Yeah..." Piper whispered out, almost close to tears again, but mostly so relieved to be able to postpone the moment they had to part. Alex nodded and took a step closer while she gave the blonde's hand a light, reassuring squeeze, managing to spread a little bit of warmth in Piper.

"Okay, let's go." Alex said softly with a slight smile, but the blonde saw how her eyes became a little colder, but it wasn't in spite. It was like the frost that coats the grass on early autumn mornings. It was sadness that seeped in, like the nature mourns the changing of seasons and drapes itself in blue. She hated herself for causing the other to feel like that, but she had to go home, even if the raven-haired girl felt more like home than any other place had ever been. Piper could only nod, at a loss of words since there really was nothing more to say. She had to get going. God did she hate musts. They were always so intrusive and always in the way. She wanted so badly to just break free from the chains of musts and responsibilities. It was like she was always walking in upwind. No matter what she did, her parents always expected her to succeed and abide to every little unspoken rule there was. They also confined her to _their_ social clique. It felt like someone had thrown her down a well and she was tirelessly trying to tread water, but she always felt herself drowning a little bit more whenever she was forced to follow those rules. She felt herself so close to go down beneath the surface, exhaustion vibrating through every fiber of her body and she was so close to just give in to it, give in to the sweet bliss that drowning would mean. But if she just let herself relax enough to just float free, no longer fighting to stay above the pretense surface, she may find some peace. Breaking free from the imprisonment of it all. But she couldn't really do that until she turned eighteen and she was determined to move out of the house as soon as the clock struck twelve after the sixth day of June the next year. But she couldn't be so sure that she would actually make it that far as her parents could kick her out before she turned eighteen. She had already made one landmine explode and that was strike one. Once she hit strike three, there was a chance that she would no longer be considered their daughter. But that was only a big _what if_ and she hoped to never see it come to life. She sighed heavily and followed the other teen to the hallway to enter the cold night.

The door creaked when Alex opened it, like it wanted to proclaim to the world that they were entering the night. The cold air hit Piper's cheeks like a waterfall; heavy and all at once. The sensation of the air woke her up like she had been cozily asleep before, like all of her confessions were just a dream. Her heart rate increased as if she had been thrown into a body of cold water, making every nerve of hers stand up tight against her skin. She could almost feel her pupils dilate and grow accustomed to the darkness that hung over them. It was always strange how darkness made every little sound expand and sound like war. At least being outside made them less harsh, but it was still like every detail in the darkness mattered a lot more than during the day. She clung a little bit harder to Alex's hand. That contact would always matter, no matter the time of the day.

They stayed quiet as they walked. The seriousness clung to them like a hot cotton coat during the summer. Stuffing their every pore with it. They had reached so far that day, but it also brought them a lot more to think about, or at least Piper felt so. How had their bond developed? What did it really mean that they both liked each other? How would their bond evolve? When would they meet again? Would the distance and forced separation affect their bond in any way? Could they continue to grow stronger? Piper just sighed heavily again, feeling as if her shoes were bottomless. Like she would walk holes in them any minute.

"Don't let that mind of yours get to you, kid." Alex said out of the blue. Piper snapped her eyes to the other's, feeling like she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"What?" Piper asked. She hadn't quite heard what the other said, it was like she had zeroed in on just the new nickname the other seemed to have given her. It felt so effortless coming from the other and it didn't feel uncomfortable or degrading being called that either. It was more like her heart fluttered for a second and made her whole body tingle.

"I can see you spinning around in circles in there from a mile away." Alex said and gave her hand a light squeeze as if showing Piper that it was okay and that she wasn't taunting her. She was just there to ease the burden her mind so often brought her. Remind Piper that she wasn't alone. Remind her to not let her head get the best of her.

"Oh, sorry." Piper lowered her head and studied her feet as she walked. Lately it had been so easy to trade the real world for the world of her thoughts. It was so easy to just go there and just kind of sink so deep into it that she almost fell away from the world.

"It's okay, just don't let it get to your head." Alex brushed her shoulder against Piper in a gentle way trying to lift the mood. A smile formed on her lips and the blonde just felt her body soften. It was almost like she could fall asleep. Feeling so content by the other's comforting words. She took a step closer to the other, letting the safety of Alex wash over her and placed her head on her shoulder. They couldn't walk like that, though, so she had to lift her head again. She just wanted to show the other that she appreciated her effort. And maybe it was because she wanted to feel Alex against her. She always felt so good.

The streetlights above their heads shone down on them with a kind of sterile light. As if trying to dissect both of them and identify if they were a threat to what ever social rule existed out in the air that night. It felt intrusive and so damn cold. It started to feel like the darkness pressed tighter, even if it was more inviting than the harsh light form the lamp posts. Piper guessed it was the pressing feeling of returning home to what could be considered a cold war, that made everything, beside Alex, feel hostile. Piper closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. Come what may, she thought. There was nothing in the world that could prepare her for it, so it might as well just come. Once again, the raven-haired girl interrupted her thoughts with her deep voice so gentle and warm, dragging her back into the protection of their bubble.

"You need to start talking instead of thinking so much, Piper. Just bottling it up inside isn't healthy." Alex dragged Piper tighter against her, as if she wanted to shield the blonde from whatever threat that was out there.

"You said so yourself. And now, you have someone that will listen to you. Use that." Every word that the raven-haired girl said just made it harder. Harder to know that she couldn't spend every minute with her. But it just felt so childish to feel that way, she just had to suck it up. She couldn't change reality. She nodded and added for extra clarity;

"It's just hard sometimes to even like... Formulate it." Piper slowly started, swallowing hard before her breath mixed with the cold night air and ascended to the eternal sky. It looked so free as it floated higher.

"And my mind just runs so fast that I can't always catch it before it's too late." Piper said in a hushed tone. She knew she was an absolute mess. Always had been, she had just been better at suppressing and hiding it. But it didn't matter anymore, she had fallen apart completely and the other girl had been there to pick up her pieces and offer her the glue to puzzle them back together. But it wasn't that easy, she had never attempted to do such a thing. She didn't know where to start or even how to do it, but Alex would be there to guide her fumbling hands. Maybe she could be somewhat whole again. Together with Alex. _Together_. The word made her heart flutter and release warmth throughout her whole body before she could focus again.

"And then I just can't stop. And how do I even begin to start to explain it?" Piper pushed on. She felt herself getting worked up again, feeling how the words were toppling at the edge, ready to fall down at any second. She managed to stop herself, sighing heavily.

"Just start where it hurts the most and _slowly_ walk from there. Remember to breathe and there's no need to rush." Alex said gently. How was it that she always managed to be so soft and gentle? Piper guessed that something so soft and precious really needed to be hidden behind thick and heavily armed walls for it to not get hurt or become roughed up. She was just so glad that she had gotten to see that softness and feel it beneath her fingers. Piper was also so damn grateful to have found a _real_ friend. Someone that depended on her as much as she depended on the other.

Silence fell upon them again, but it didn't feel as pressing. It was just them and the sleeping world around them. Their feet dragging against the asphalt. Slowly but surely scuffing the rubber soles of their shoes, leaving imprints of their walk. Something that would be erased with time, ground down by future walks, hopefully together.

Too soon they reached Piper's house. It looked alive and almost vibrant with its warm lights that stood in stark contrast against the autumn darkness. Piper turned to the other, too aware that they needed to say goodbye again. Flashes from their previous goodbyes painted her memory like a vivid dream, leaving her so breathless once again. She felt like she was shrinking, making her head all dizzy, like she was losing control of everything. And it ached all over. She just wanted to sink to her knees. It was so heavy to feel and she had already felt heavy enough to last a lifetime. At least she didn't have to fear for the other's life or worry about the other not wanting her around. Her previous calm state was just so easily erased. One little bump in the road and she was up and running again, heart beating fiercely with every dying breath in the other's presence.

"Okay, I'll leave you here." The raven-haired girl said and tugged on the blonde's hand a little.

"Let me know how it goes with the parents." Alex said while she turned to Piper. The raven-haired girl's eyes were searching, almost as if to make sure she left all the pieces of the blonde so she could be as whole as she could be.

"Yeah, I will." Piper swallowed thickly, her breaths feeling weaker and weaker. Her hands begun to shake ever so lightly. Soon it would escalate and travel through her whole body, like she was a dying leaf. Holding on to a branch for dear life as a cold wind swept in, harsh and unforgiving, trying to drag her down to the ground. She really tried to breathe. Tried to calm herself down. Alex wouldn't leave, she would be right there beside her.

"You're not going to go on a rant now, are you?" Alex lightly laughed and Piper pressed herself against the other's neck when she heard the words. It had become so familiar to hide in the other girls neck, like it was a safe zone. _A home_. Piper could actually feel a small genuine smile form on her lips and a bright blush creep over her face despite the heaviness she felt at being separated from the other.

"Hey." The raven-haired girl softly coaxed, trying to gain Piper's attention, pulling away from her to be able to catch the blonde's eyes. All fun and games gone. Jokes paling, like thin and weak clouds slowly dragging their way across the sky a lazy day. They studied each other. Probably etching each other into their memory. Even though it wouldn't matter. Memories always fade. Faces always become bleak as if they've been burnt in the sun for too long and lose their color to the unforgiving rays. Touches loses their warmth all too quickly. And eventually, they would be just a gray mass, like a flickering image on the TV. It would just be a silhouette. But the possibility that Alex's face, lit with only the cold light, would fade out, made the seconds count even more. Everything was so gentle. The only thing that felt harsh was the cold. Their steady breaths, white smoke against their dark surroundings. Almost like their breaths contained the time that was slowly ticking away from them. It was becoming later and later, but it didn't really face Piper anymore. Every second she could savor in the other's company was worth any agony she was about to face.

Piper felt herself run out of breaths. It was time. She needed to go. Even though she had never before felt such a strong urge to just stay in one place and let it feel like forever. Just soaking in the feeling of the moment. She felt herself tremble again and leaned in to the other's neck once more. Seeking one last bit of strength and stability as she wrapped her arms around the other.

"Please, keep in touch." Piper whispered against the other's neck. She hugged Alex harder, like she wanted to imprint what home felt like. It was hard to tell when she would be able to feel it again. It felt so desperate, but she felt the raven-haired girl wrap her arms around Piper just as tightly as she did.

"I will and promise me that you will call or text me whenever that mind of yours is spinning out of control. Okay?" Alex whispered and turned more into the hug. Piper could only nod as she let herself soak in the moment for just a few seconds longer before she basically had to force herself to let go, like she was convincing herself to jump off a high cliff.

She waved tentatively at the other as she put more distance between them. Alex mirrored the gesture, but stood still and watched Piper walk closer to the house. The blonde tried to maintain eye contact as long as she could, but all things come to an end. She finally turned around and faced her house alone, drawing a deep, cold breath. The house looked so big and proud, standing out in the darkness. It kind of looked like a fortress for the untrained eye, like the paint on the house wouldn't even peel against nature and time. But for the trained eyes it was all just ruins that Piper stood in front off. She closed her eyes, trying to collect and prepare herself for what would come.

Piper open the front door carefully, like she didn't want to disturb whatever mood that existed in the house previous to her arrival. Or maybe more like she didn't want to detonate a bomb. She was only met with dimmed lights and silence. It almost felt like a Christmas evening. The darkness from outside leaked in and blended warmly with the dim and soft lights from inside, but it wasn't time for an exciting adventure to search for Santa Claus. It was more like she was entering a haunted house. Everything was still and quiet, lacking the Christmas magic. It was just too quiet to be considered safe or settling. There was no Santa to be found. And the warm lights that were supposed to be welcoming and homely only gave off a hollow glow. And all one could feel was coldness. The kind of coldness that emptiness is. Everything in her house was hollow and shallow. Pristine and perfect, like a house straight out of a furniture catalog, nothing that was meant to be lived in. It was all just for show.

Piper took off her jacket and hung it up, carefully listening to potential sounds of the oncoming storm that was her parents. Everything was still, though. Maybe she had been right and everything was like it had always been since she caught her dad cheating on her mom. Maybe her dad was out on a _business dinner_, as he liked to called it. Even though they all knew that he was out wining and dining some other woman. And maybe her mom was passed out on the couch, trying to numb the truth. She exhaled again, not wanting to believe that she wasn't going to get a consequence for her late arrival home and to get rid of the thought of having to see her mom passed out drunk.

She warily walked into the kitchen, catching a glimpse of the coffee table. Piper sighed when she spotted the half empty gin bottle on it. But something strange happened; she felt herself relax. The tension in her body just disappeared. Succumbing to the fact that her mother was drunk into oblivion again. Like always.

Continuing through the kitchen and walking into the living room, Piper saw her. Sprawled on the couch, laying on her stomach. The glass she had been drinking from stood on the floor beside her limp hand. A magazine was spread out on the table. An article about what seemed to be the newest celebrity gossip was displayed on the glossy pages. A bottle of tonic water stood beside the magazine and the half empty gin bottle, its cork lay discarded beside it. Carol's hair was a bit disheveled, but other than that, her mother looked as representable as ever, beside the fact that she was passed out on a couch.

Piper felt herself deflate, the calmness she felt, dissolving like a sandcastle in a storm. Washing away her energy and will. Ruthlessly eating away at her hope. She almost felt dizzy, like the hopelessness in her had stared to feed off of her very skin and bone. Completely draining her, hollowing her out even more. She didn't know how she would be able to cope until she turned eighteen. Boneless, she sat down on the couch next to her mom. Piper just stared at her, wondering what it would take for her to actually do something about her situation. What would be her limit? Dad actually inviting one of the women he was sleeping with into their house? Finding one of them in bed with him? Or would that just push her further down in her destructive spiral? Piper wondered if her mother ever thought about how she was hurting her children with her behavior. She knew that it wasn't easy for her mother and kind of regretted going after her so hard that time at the dining table, but at the same time she didn't regret it at all. Carol needed to face the reality and see that her drinking and nonchalance caused actual pain for all of them. Even so, she wished she would have been harder on her father and she hated that she had such a soft spot for him. He was the one who had caused all of the pain. He brought it upon them all.

"Mom..." Piper said softly, stroking some of her hair back into place, trying to wake her mother. The blonde had to repeat herself a couple of times as she gently shook one of her shoulders. Eventually she felt her mother wake up with a jerk, looking disoriented.

"Piper...?" She turned her head to look at Piper, her eyes so unfocused they almost looked like glass marbles. She closed her eyes, a surge of pure ice shot through her, settling in her throat, pushing hard against the lid she had so firmly put there. The facade she had so carefully built up, everything that was holding her together was slowly burning down to the ground. Even if her mother had done very little for her growing up, she would always be her mother and she still needed her. Some nights she would ache. Ache for her mother to come and take care of her. It was just so childish to ache for her, but it was there and it was real. She was so tired of coping on her own. And to see her mother so drunk, so drunk that she couldn't even focus her eyes made her ache even more for her mother to just be there for her. The ice layer that coated her veins just got thicker when her mother interrupted her.

"Where have you been? It's late! Young lady, you're grounded and..." Her mother slurred out, trying to sit up, probably to try to continue her lecture, but stopped as she almost fell down. Her mother swayed for a moment while a hiccup echoed around the empty living room. The ache just got sharper. Her mother would never change. It wouldn't have mattered if Piper had just saved her life, she would always focus on wrongs and how she could maintain the perfect facade. But Piper was so done with it. She wasn't going to play into her mother's hands anymore. Wasn't going to abide to her stupid fucking rules again. She had felt what something unconditional was and she wasn't willing to trade it for anything in the world. Even if she didn't want to buy into her mother's bullshit anymore, she still felt bad for her mom. She too was suffering from Bill's continued cheating and treating her mother as an accessory.

"It doesn't matter, mom. Come on, you need to get to bed." Piper croaked out. It felt like her voice was running out of sound. She had done so much talking that day. It felt like she had traveled the world around and then back again. And having to deal with her drunk mother so up close really just poured the last bit of strength out of her.

Piper wrapped an arm around her mother's shoulders and dragged her up, steadying the older woman with her body. She felt how her mother leaned into her and just knew that deep down Carol appreciated the help she was given. But maybe that was too much to hope for, maybe her mother just needed the stability of her to be able to walk straight and nothing more than that.

She slowly lead the other woman up the stairs to her bedroom and laid her down on the grand bed. Piper couldn't refrain from stroking a blonde lock behind her mother's ear when she had slumped against the comfort of the bed. It was getting harder and harder for Piper to ignore the force in her throat that only kept pushing harder and harder. She was at the tipping point once again. A single tear slipped out from her tightly held control. That's when she couldn't stop the gentle words that she should have voiced a long time ago from escaping.

"Mom... You need to stop this. It's hurting us all, but you're hurting yourself the most. Dad's not worth it. You're worth so much better and you know that." Piper practically sobbed out and bent her head down. The sheer force of control it took for her to not break down in front of the older woman could probably have moved a mountain.

"Hush, darling." Carol slurred out. It was almost as if she answered out of habit. Autopilot being her last line of defense.

"Please stop pretending." Piper forced out, so sick of not being able to reach out to her. Carol didn't answer, she just turned around so her back was against Piper. The blonde had to accept that there was nothing else that she could do, no matter how frustrating it was. If she'd had more energy she would have been angry, but there wasn't a trace of fire to be found inside of her. It had all burned out, leaving only the black and burnt out coal in her and all she had as fuel was tons of water.

She exited the bedroom, that felt more like a mausoleum than a place of comfort, and felt her stomach tug sharply. Even if she wasn't in the mood to eat something, she knew that she at least needed to fill the hole that was swirling around there. Hoping that making something quick to eat would take her mind off of the messes around and inside her head, she went down to the kitchen.

She poured hot water into her favorite mug and felt the aroma of the tea fill the air around her. Piper exhaled, finally feeling as relaxed as she did in Alex's arms. _Alex_. Her constant safe haven. The only one that had ever felt like home and comfort. Such a broken soul that was gentle beyond the laws of the universe. The one that she wished could be by her side all the hours of the day. She was so grateful that she almost got to spend an entire day with the other. It was surprising how whole the other always seemed to be. Even in the darkness she looked as sound as a great cliff. Even so, the other girl had been through traumatic things and Piper didn't wish one single bad thing to ever happen the raven-haired girl again. She started to wonder if the other had gotten home okay. She wrote a quick message asking the other.

_Thank you so much, Alex. For everything. Did you get home okay? _The blonde started at the message for a little while before she decided to send it. She really needed to relax, she had broken down in front of the other. There was no need to worry about a small text. So with determination in mind, she pressed send and turned back to her very late dinner.

While Piper sipped her tea, as not to burn her tongue, her phone buzzed with an incoming text. It was from the other.

_Yeah, no problem, kid. How did it go with the parents? You okay? _Piper felt warm all over. There really was no limit to Alex's concern. She started to type out a reply when she heard the front door open and close, her father's voice swimming into the kitchen. He was talking on the phone. _Fuck._ She didn't need another mess. Didn't need to confront her father about talking to one of his _mistresses_. The blonde lost all interest in her tea and the rest of her food. She could hear him laugh. He had the _fucking_ guts to come home late, talking to some other woman, while her mother lay upstairs, passed out from having to numb her pain with alcohol. Suddenly all the water turned into gasoline, igniting the fire with such power she felt it roar through her veins. She pushed the chair out with force, needing to direct the energy somewhere. Fuck her dad. Fuck everything that he had put them _all_ through. Fuck him for hurting her mother. Piper felt the emotions bubble through her, not really knowing where to put them all. She wasn't supposed to lose her composure. Wasn't supposed to be uncontrolled. But she couldn't _control_ herself. The anger just flowed through her, like a wild river tearing through a landscape. She could still hear him talking out in the hallway. It only fueled the fires inside of her more, but she couldn't find anywhere to put it. There was nothing within her reach that she could burn but her dad. Grinding her teeth while she clenched her fist so hard she could feel them ache. She needed to do something. Needed to channel the furious energy somewhere. Onto something, but there was a catch; she couldn't break anything and it just frustrated her more. She just wanted to smash her fists onto the table, like a fucking three year old. There was just no other way to vent her feelings. She looked up, seeing the late dinner she had made, and just decided that she was _done. _Maybe not done with dinner, but just done for the moment.

Like she was demonstrating how to best be passive aggressive, she started to throw away her tea and food. Setting everything down extra hard and straight out throwing her sandwiches into the trashcan. When she almost slammed the door to the trashcan, her dad interrupted her. Just standing behind her, looking a bit shocked at her display. He had obviously seen some of it. That only made her angrier. There was no place on earth were _he_ had the right to judge her.

"What are you doing up this late, Piper?" He asked tentatively, like he always was. Pretending to be some kind of gentle and humble man. That was so far off the mark that the blonde could almost taste the disgust on her tongue. He was like a wolf in sheep's clothing, luring in the dark to finally let out his claws, thinking that the darkness would serve as an invisibility cloak so no one could see who caused the damage.

"What are you doing coming home so late?" Piper retorted, venom practically dripping down between them. Her mother had taught her well. She clenched her jaw. She didn't want to play some passive aggressive games. Carol had done that for far too long without much progress. But she couldn't help herself from wanting to cause as much pain to her father as she could. He would not be granted any leverage in the conversation what so ever. Piper would fight to turn his every word against him.

"Business dinner with a very important client. And it's Friday, you know how it is." Bill smiled as he moved to take a glass and filled it with water. That's when she could smell it; the cigar and oriental perfume. Piper almost wanted to laugh. Her dad was as predictable as the clock, always striking twelve at midnight.

"Oh, I didn't know you were so intimate with your clients that their perfumes rubbed off on you. _She_ must've been _really _interested in _your_ services." Piper threw out, wanting her father to know she could see through him like a crystal clear glass.

"She was, but you know I can't talk business with you. Client confidentiality." Her father smiled and drank up his water, putting down the glass on the counter ready to walk to his study. But he wouldn't get to escape the conversation. He had burned all of his bridges.

"Yeah, because business for you is seducing women. Taking them to bed after having wined and dined them. As a lawyer, isn't it kind of dumb to be cheating with all of these women? You know mom would win against you and get all of your money and you would loose your credibility as a lawyer. Who would want a corrupt lawyer who has defied _the holy bond_ between two people, you know?" Her dad stared at her with concealed surprise, he looked more sad than angry. At least she had managed to wipe that fucking satisfied smile off of his face.

"Piper, don't talk like that. You know that isn't true. I'm good at my job." She was surprised that he didn't bite back and tried to defend himself. But that just made it clearer what a slimy fucking snake he was.

"You know what? Fuck you. I hope they're all fucking worth it. Worth knowing that you're causing so much pain to _all of us_." She clenched her fists harder, so hard it started to hurt from her nails almost piercing her skin. But she couldn't stop. He deserved to hear it all. He wasn't a hero. Had never been.

"And I hope that your satisfaction, which causes so much fucking pain, by the way, is really fucking worth it. I hope you're happy with it." The more she almost spat out her words, the more _bored_ he seemed, like he had heard it all before. Almost like he didn't even listen.

"You're the reason this family doesn't work. You _are_ the problem." He didn't even flinch when she threw the hardest punch yet. He still looked kind of bored.

"Fuck you!" Piper stared at him for a second before walking away. Her throat hurt. He didn't even seem bothered by what the blonde had said and that made it all worse. Walking in to her room, she locked the door and just sunk to the floor. Her window was as black as ever and everything around her was just still. Nothing even mattered anymore. It was clear, she basically didn't have a family. No one cared for her, beside the raven-haired girl and Cal, her sweet little brother, but he wasn't as present as the other girl. Her mind went black. There was nothing more to think or consider. It just was what it was.

She didn't know how long she sat there, just shut off as the world slowly continued to turn, staring into the murky darkness of her unlit room. Eventually, her phone woke her up when it buzzed with an incoming text.

_Pipe__s__?_ It was Alex. Only then did she realize that she still hadn't replied to the other girl's text. The few words she had managed to get out were still staring at her. But they weren't true anymore. It had been such a long time since she had typed them. Without thinking much, she just spilled out everything she was feeling.

_No, I'm not okay. He doesn't even care. Even though I basically caught him red handed. I want to get out of here... I just want to run away from it all. There's nothing else for me here. Would you follow me? Please follow me. You're the only one that cares. _


	16. Chapter 16

**AN:** I am so, so sorry for the huge delay again, but this story is so hard to write and life just tends to get in the way. It's hard being an adult.

It's starting to get closer to the end of this story, only two or three chapters left. So there's that. Let's get to it, shall we? I really hope you like this chapter. The next chapter will be uploaded soon, it just needs to be proofread, but it is really long so it will take some time.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Falling again, I need a pick-me-up**_

She stared at her phone while it sent the text. After just a few seconds, it was delivered. The loading circle disappeared and was replaced with a time stamp; 10:47 pm. A tremble went through her body. It was on print. There was no reason for her to stay anymore. It had all escalated so quickly. She thought she could endure more and pull through for a longer time. But no, her body constricted, cutting off her ability to breathe. She dropped her phone on the floor and fought for her life to supply her lungs with air, but they wouldn't accept it. They just kept pushing it out again. Her cheeks felt wet, adding to the feeling that her body was slowly shutting her down and taking control. She felt so cornered, like there wasn't enough space in the world to give her the room she needed. The darkness felt like cold sweat; sticking too tightly to her skin. It felt so cold. She was almost surprised to see that her short and panicked breaths didn't turn into white clouds of smoke. Her body shook, trembled like a violin string being gently stroked to life. But she wasn't being brought to life. It felt more like her body prepared for the eternal rest and it just clawed it's way deeper and deeper into her, etching its way through her veins, moving the oxygen deprived blood cells deeper into her body as her heart kept beating despite it lacking something so essential as air. It was consuming her so much that there wasn't a single inch of her that wasn't infected.

She tried to stand up, tried to get away, but she was kept in place, held prisoner by all the panic. Panic always sticks around, like glue rests from an old band aid. Sticking to her skin even if she tried to wash it away. It felt like she wanted to peel her skin away, separating herself from her flesh prison. The feeling was so engrossing that everything just stopped, paused, her body stiffening with the rest of the world so that the only thing she could do was to curl further into herself. Almost like she wanted to compress herself into a tiny atom so she could just meld with the air, melt away until there wasn't a trace of her left. Somehow that felt easier than trying to breathe.

Her mind was so useless and her thoughts so meaningless. Nothing of value or use passed in there and she couldn't even hear herself, even though she screamed at the top of her lungs inside. The only thing she could hear was her forced gasps. They sounded so hollow, making it seem unnecessary to even breathe. The world was completely background. Only her four bedroom walls existed. Slowly, she felt how everything fell away, fell into the darkness and just wasn't anymore. No one but Piper breathed, encapsulating her further.

But there was a flaw. There was more out there. Alex was out there. She existed. Piper needed to get to her. Everything was just background when it came to Alex, even the entire world. There was really nothing else that mattered.

Still shaking like a dead leaf in the wind, she finally forced herself into a standing position, aided by the door. The room felt darker than before, smaller than before. She needed to get out. Needed to get to Alex. Closing her eyes, she tried to gain control again, but the motion only made it worse. The panic gripped tighter around her throat and seeped into the rest of her body. She opened her eyes again, but it only felt darker, trapping her further, like it didn't matter if her eyes were open or closed.

She tried to focus, tried to focus on _Alex_, on _getting to_ Alex. But her breaths were like heavy bombs dropping around her. And panic still held her in an ice cold grip, vice like, almost like death probably would. There seemed to be no end. No end in sight of her self-induced war. Again, she couldn't move, trapped like a doe in the headlights of a speeding car moving towards her, shaking with fright at the looming pain rising at the horizon. Her eyes hurt, stinging with the salt of her tears, but she didn't dare to close them to stop the flow. She didn't want to get trapped in the skin tight darkness again.

Without having any way of counting the minutes that had undeniably passed around her, she couldn't know how long she had fought with her panic. But some time must have passed since her phone began to vibrate and the screen lit up a portion of her room. It became another focal point, something that gave her even more stability in the floating darkness around her that had felt like a bottomless pit. When it lit up, she closed her eyes. There was something else than complete darkness. As she opened them again, her screen turned black. But not even five seconds later, it lit up again. Even if it hurt to look at, she did it. It was her lighthouse, making it feel like her lungs finally accepted the air around her. But she didn't dare to move yet, not trusting her body to not throw her under the bus.

Her loud gasps echoed flatly against the walls around her, making everything duller than it was. The sharp thuds of her heart almost created a rhythm with her breaths. It was yet another thing to focus on, something that didn't involve her mind actively. Hearing that her body still functioned was calming, even if she had felt so detached from it. Slowly, she could start to feel how her door felt against her back. How the irregularity of the pattern cut into it pressed against her. It surprised her how normal it felt and how she could take something like that for granted every day. She closed her eyes again, bowing her head down.

The phone screen was black, had been for a couple of seconds, or even a minute or two. It became easier to breathe, even if her room was still dark. As long as she kept focusing on Alex, it would be okay. No more suffocating. No more trips down that black hole in her head again.

Slowly, she could hear how her heartbeats became less sharp, fading against her eardrums. The echo was gone and she could hear the wind caress the outside of the house. The phone vibrated again and lit up. She knew that it have been must be the raven-haired girl. Slowly bending down, she picked the device up, but didn't open it to look at the received messages. Rising on unsure legs, she reached out and turned the light in her room on. At first, she had to recoil from the light as it was too strong by closing her eyes. It hurt, feeding the burning sensation in her eyes from the tears further. Clutching the phone to her chest, she forced herself to look. She was met with the black window. The gaping hole to the world. It looked intimidating, but she had to go there, had to get out. Without thinking further, she started moving, grabbing her bag and throwing things in it.

She was on autopilot. What she was doing was just something that she needed to do. It was the only logical thing to do. Alex was the only one that cared, the only one that could make something feel okay again. After all, the raven-haired girl had said to call her if she ever got stuck in her head again. It wasn't exactly what Piper planned as a simple phone call wouldn't get her out of the suffocating feeling that was her _home_. She just couldn't exist within the walls of the pristine and perfect anymore. It had retained her for too long and freedom tasted too good to just give up.

With just a few things packed, she swung it over her shoulder and exited her room. Once again clutching the phone to her chest, she descended the stairs as quietly as she could. She could hear her heart again, so obediently thrumming on. It felt like she was alive again. The collapse in her bedroom so far away and gone. Flushed out of her system.

Alert on any movements, she made her way to the door. Step by step getting closer to be on her way. Finally feeling the cold metal of the door handle, she opened the door and took the final step out into the solid night.

When the door was locked and she had asphalt under her feet, she relaxed. Not enough to not feel the pressure pushing in her chest, but enough to look at her phone and steer her feet into a walking motion. She had three unread messages; they were all from Alex. The first one was the longest. It was kind of a calming pep talk, trying to talk some sense into her, but it was too late. The clock had ticked away too many minutes and she was already on her way. The second one was a kind of follow up and a reassurance. "_You don't have to run away. Call me if you feel like __it__ will help._"The third one was the worried one. A simple word, her name. A cry for attention. She must have Alex worried since she had yet to reply. Her clock read 11:04 pm. Seventeen minutes had passed since Piper had sent her text. She wasn't usually so slow to answer the other's messages. She opened her contacts and didn't even hesitate to click on the other girl's name. As the ring tone echoed, she continued to walk in the night. The streetlamps had been shut off so the sterile light from before was replaced by the thick darkness the night had to offer. It was a wonder that she could see at all. Although, porch lights from the surrounding houses helped uncloak the darkness so she could see where she was going. They gave the street a surreal look, almost dream like. But it still didn't feel like any dream she'd ever dreamt and yet it was strangely familiar. She had almost put her finger on how the street felt when she was interrupted.

"Piper?" Alex voice was worried, stressed. In the background she could her ruffling sounds. She suspected that it was the raven-haired girl's sheets. She tried to find her voice, but it was stuck. Stuck beneath all of her tears and panic. Her name was repeated again, a plea for her to say something. If only her voice wasn't so lost, Alex wouldn't need to sound so distressed. Alex paused, static filling the void in her ear while her footsteps against the ground vibrated through her body. The dream like setting of the street only made it worse. She was alone. It was dark and cold. She had basically ran away from home. It felt good, but disorienting. What if Alex wouldn't let her stay with her? How on earth had Alex felt when she ran away? When she didn't have anyone to turn to. It must have been insufferable. A soft plea traveled through the static noise in the receiver. Her name again. Once more she felt so damn overwhelmed. How hard did everything have to be all the time? And how many more tears did she have to cry? It was so tiring. All she ever did was cry. She exhaled shakily, blowing a big white cloud to the stars, like it was a wish.

"Can I stay at yours tonight? Please?" Piper forced out, voice breaking halfway through. It was rough and dry, like her esophagus was covered in stone dust. She exhaled again, but this time it was as broken as her voice. There was another meltdown on its way. She couldn't handle that and Alex didn't answer her for what felt like an eternity. The static silence was almost all consuming, drowning her in it's complete stillness, making everything seem bigger and closer, forcing her to stop dead in her tracks. What if Alex said no? What would she do then? Sleep somewhere in the forest? She hated being desperate, but she couldn't deny that she was, she had no other alternatives.

"I can't be home. Not now." Another broken plea, sounding like cracked asphalt, making the world even bigger than it already seemed. She felt even more disoriented and the vibrating stillness of the phone call wasn't a compass either.

"Of course." The silence was broken. Alex answered. Another big white cloud sailed towards the stars. The other girl's soul just grew and grew in her eyes. She didn't know how anyone could have such a big heart.

"Of course. Where are you now?" The raven-haired girl sounded more awake, like she had realized the situation.

"I'm walking towards your house." Piper was surprised that she managed to formulate the sentence coherently.

"I'm coming." Alex sounded so sure and the blonde could feel the panic evaporating, floating up into the dead space.

"Thank you, thank you." Piper almost sobbed out, relief washing over her.

"Do you remember the way?" Alex continued to talk, and it just felt so calming, soothing. It kept her from falling down into the dream like setting of the street. She didn't want to get caught in it. It felt dangerous being caught in something like that. She breathed out, slowly winding her free arm around her stomach as if trying to hold herself together. Or maybe shielding herself from her surroundings. It was a weak defense, but it was one, nonetheless.

"Yeah, yeah." She kept moving towards the other, glad that she could actually remember the way.

"Good, just keep walking. Don't stop for anything. Okay?" She nodded, forgetting that the other couldn't see her.

"Yes." It wasn't louder than a whisper, but thankfully the other heard her.

"Good. Do you want to keep talking or should I hang up?" Alex was so soft and thoughtful, so sincere and oh so gentle. She thought of everything and Piper just wanted to kiss her.

"No, I need to hear you." _And hug you and kiss your breath away._ Piper closed her eyes.

"Okay." The other's simple reply hung in the air for a moment and the blonde refocused her thoughts, or what was left of them, but she couldn't find anything to say.

"Do you want to talk about what happened earlier?" She could hear a creak and a thud in the background on Alex's end of the phone. It must have been her door. It was easier to focus on background objects. They didn't need much attention or evaluation. They were just there, there to smooth out the chaos. Even though she kind of owed it to Alex, going through all the chaos just wasn't something she had the energy to do. She was yet again causing a scene without much explanation. But it would have to come later, the raven-haired girl was after all very patient. Hopefully Piper wouldn't spend it all up too soon.

"No." It came out weak.

"Okay, it's going to be okay. You know that, right?" Even if she wanted to believe the other, she just couldn't.

"It doesn't feel like it. I'm totally losing it. I just can't." Piper started to shake. Again. She really needed to rest, but it didn't feel like she could do that until she had the other's arms around her. Why was she always such a slave to her feelings? She needed to be more like the raven-haired girl; in control. Not let anything push her down and keep her there.

"I have destroyed everything." It just slipped out of her, the realization feeling like a stab to her guts.

"No, you haven't." Again, Alex sounded so sure. So softly firm, but the blonde just had the hardest time believing it. How could she not have destroyed everything when she was the reason behind the shitstorm that had taken place the last couple of weeks?

"But-"

"No." It was just a tinge harder, but still so endearingly soft.

"You haven't destroyed anything between us." Again, she said it so gently that she could have just as well hugged Piper.

"But I almost did." It was so silent. It really did feel like she almost had.

"Piper... It doesn't matter. You saved me. Focus on that instead." Piper just nodded. The tears were too near again and she was so tired of it. She needed background details, something to smooth out the chaos with.

"Just tell me something."

"Sure, like what?." Alex said, but the blonde hesitated. She didn't really know what she would ask.

"What would your perfect day be like?" She could hear the other girl chuckle lightly and it kind of intrigued her.

"Well, now you're kind of taking all of the mystery away from me." Piper actually chuckled as well at the silly answer.

Alex's perfect day would be spent on the swinging couch they had, reading a good book with a good cup of coffee. She even described the weather that would make it the perfect day. It would have to be summer, but not on the hottest day. Just a day were the sun played hide and seek with the clouds and a warm breeze played in the grass. It would have to be morning, around ten am. The time of day were everything is just kind of lazy. Alex's description of the day was so vivid and alive Piper almost felt like she was right there beside the raven-haired girl on the couch reading as well. And for a moment, the dark street disappeared, making way for the green grass and lazy breeze.

"That sounds so nice. I would like that too." Piper said, feeling a lot calmer.

"Yeah, you joining me would make it even more perfect." Even though the cold had already colored her cheeks pink, the blush that crept up on her added a deeper shade of red.

"It would've been so nice." The blush warmed her face and crept through her chest as well, settling in the middle.

"I think I see you now." Piper lifted her gaze, she wasn't even aware that time had passed. She had been so busy living in the little world Alex had created with her words that she didn't even feel her feet against the asphalt. In the darkness she could see a figure emerging. A tall figure. Her heart started to race.

"I think I see you too." She stopped in front of a house. The lights had a slight orange glow to them. Slowly, but surely, she could see the figure clearer in the murky light. It was Alex. Without thinking further of it, she took a few big steps in the other's direction and embraced her hard, phone still clutched in her hand.

"Thank you." Piper whispered into the other's neck. Alex's leather jacket creaked under the pressure from their embrace. She could feel the other girl's arms around her and everything fell away again, but in that good way.

"Sure, kid." Alex whispered and hugged her tighter.

During a few still minutes, they stood there in the orange light and just absorbed each other's presence. It didn't seem to matter how many hours they spent together, they always needed each other. All that matter was their contact. Their safe haven. Piper's safe haven. It wasn't until that moment that she realized she'd never had one before she met the other.

"Come one, let's go home." She nodded against the other's neck, but thought _I'm already home. _There was no place in the world that would feel like home if Alex wasn't there. She felt the other place a gentle kiss on top of her head before letting go.

They walked in silence, hand in hand, like they were rewinding the tape. The night was darker and colder, but Piper was feeling much more relieved. She was with Alex and wasn't going home to inevitable doom. Even if she was going to her safe haven, she couldn't stop but feel like a heavy weight for the other. Alex had been forced to endure so much and was finally free from her oppressor. And then came Piper. She was someone that the other had to take care of since she seemed to be entirely incapable of doing that herself. It just seemed like such an effort considering that Piper felt like her problems weren't actually considered to be problems. They seemed so small and it just didn't feel right to weigh the other down like that.

"I'm sorry for being so annoying..." As always, the filter between her brain and mouth were nonexistent. Alex stopped dead in her tracks and trapped Piper with her gaze.

"Piper, seriously stop. Look at me."

"You are not something that I consider a burden. I'm glad that I can help you." Before the blonde could even take the next breath, the other continued.

"And I'm not doing it because you have helped me. Don't get me wrong, I'm so, so grateful for all that you've done, but I'm doing it because I care and can see how much pain you're in." So gently, Alex stroked her cheek with her free hand and the blonde couldn't have felt safer.

"You're worth every minute in the world, Piper. Please stop thinking otherwise." Even if the night was dark, she could see the glimmer in the other's eyes, like they belonged to the stars. They probably did.

"I'll try." They hugged again, intertwining themselves a little further, digging into each other a little deeper. It was no warm summer day, but that moment felt almost perfect to Piper.

In a matter of a few silent minutes they arrived at Alex's. The same creak of the door greeted her as they stepped into the tiny house. When they got inside the warm light felt so welcoming. It wasn't pristine and had a certain homeliness to it and it just spread through her. With their hands still linked they followed the same path as before. When the other closed the door to her room all that was outside of it fell away. It was just her, Alex and the surrounding walls. It didn't feel claustrophobic, it just felt so, so safe.

The same yellow light from a couple of hours before shone softly in the room. The other sat down on the bed and put her glasses away.

"We have to share my bed. Are you okay with that?" Piper nodded and put her bag down. The other girl started to undress and she did the same. She didn't have the energy in her to wonder about anything, really. The raven-haired girl moved to the wall and got under the covers. When she was comfortable, she looked at the blonde. Piper sat down on the edge of the bed in just her t-shirt and held the eye contact. There was a million things she wanted to say, but there just wasn't enough words or time to say them. She sighed heavily and the raven-haired girl lifted the covers. She accepted the offer immediately and embraced her. Alex was so warm and safe and Piper had come to find out that her arms offered the best comfort. Feeling the other's lean body against her own made her heart race. It traveled throughout her body, making her tremble. The other girl noticed it and brought Piper even closer to her. It only resulted in her breath increasing in speed and the tremble growing worse.

"Relax." Alex whispered out before placing a kiss on her forehead. Like it was the magic word, the blonde let her whole body go completely lax, no longer fighting against anything. She was safe. She was away from the home without the capital H. Nothing could do her harm in the raven-haired girl's arms.

"Thank you." Piper mumbled out, but the words were so simple. Too easily forgotten or taken for granted. They couldn't express how truly grateful Piper really was. She wished there was some other way she could express her gratitude, but everything in the universe seemed so small when compared to the other's constant kindness. Her heart didn't stop racing, but she wasn't trembling. And maybe that was the best way to show it. Show how fond her heart had grown of the other. Piper started to feel the warmth from the other transfer to her, Alex's soft breaths making her chest raise and fall. It was rhythmic, like a gentle lullaby. Before sleep's heavy tug finally dragged her under the surface of dreams she could only think that Alex's arms was a place she could stay. Stay and just exist in and it would be heaven on earth.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN:** I'm sorry it took me so long to post this, it's just that me and my beta reader has been very busy and hadn't had a chance to read through this.

Either way, I will post a second chapter since I just felt like I needed to chop them up, seeing as there is a lot going on in them. So double update for you! I hope you like it.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**You brought me out from the cold**_

Timid sun rays stung her eyes as they passed through a gap in the heavy curtains. They cast long and heavy shadows across the room. The tentative rays didn't give off any warmth, but Piper still felt warm and safe all over. The panic from the day before was almost washed away. She could still feel a tug in her stomach, but she didn't regret leaving, she knew it was only temporary, but it still felt like the escape she had craved. _Needed_. The tug made her feel heavy and a little uneasy, like she was out of place, but Piper knew that she was right where she wanted to be. She could hear Alex's calm and heavy breaths behind her. Somewhere in the darkness of the night, they had untangled from their embrace, but she could still feel the warmth from the other, making her feel safe.

She turned around to study the other's sleeping form. It was a struggle to move without making too much noise as not to wake Alex. After little hardship, she was met with a divine sight; the other's face completely relaxed and almost angelic. She lay on her back, mouth slightly open, letting the used air pass by them. Her rosy lips stood out against her light complexion. Alex's raven hair was a mess around her. One arm rested on her stomach and the other had to be somewhere underneath the sheet. It was almost soothing to take in the picture of the raven-haired girl. She had seldom seen Alex so relaxed and trouble free. The only thing that disturbed the serene expression of the other was sleep twitches and creases that dreams caused. Piper hope that those dreams were peaceful, she deserved nothing less. The blonde felt how heavy her own eyelids were and it didn't seem that her sleep had been of any quality. The blonde could almost feel the circles underneath her eyes. Piper didn't know what time it was and she didn't want to wake Alex since she looked so peaceful. She was beginning to struggle with keeping her eyes open and decided to just give in to it.

The bed moved and she rolled over due to the mattress dipping. She opened her eyes and saw Alex moving over her and stood up beside the bed. She squinted her eyes, the room was a bit darker than it was when she woke up the first time, which was strange. Maybe the weather had changed, but the thick curtains made it impossible to tell. She saw the other grabbing a pair of jeans and putting them on.

"Good morning." Piper croaked out, sleep still lingering in her body. The raven-haired girl turned around and smiled.

"Sorry for waking you up." Alex said as she sat down at the end of the bed as she tied her hair up in a messy bun. Her eyes seemed brighter without her glasses. When her hair was collected, she looked at the blonde. Piper couldn't help but smile, something she seemed to do a lot when she was alone with the other without the world disturbing them.

"It's okay. What time is it?" Alex reached for her phone. It was 10:32 am. Piper sat up in bed. She felt a lot more rested, even if she could still feel traces of that ever present tiredness she always seemed to carry around.

"Are you hungry?" Piper only nodded and pulled the sheet closer to her body to savor some of the heat.

"We can make breakfast together and watch some TV, if you want?" Alex looked almost shy when she asked.

"Sure, that sounds nice." Piper's smile grew wider.

"Come on then." Alex stood up and got her glasses while she waited for the blonde to dress.

The tea cups and bowls of cereal stood on the coffee table and the small TV flickered images before her. Piper sat curled up on the worn brown couch not paying attention to the program that was playing out; a rerun of some badly produced sitcom. Alex was in the kitchen, putting away the milk and cereals. The blonde felt so small in the unusual environment, but at the same time she felt so at home. The interior was kind of comforting. It didn't matter that the wallpaper and wooden panel made everything look like it originated from the '70s or something. The furniture was a strange array of old worn pieces probably purchased at a thrift shop. The furnishing should've felt heavy, but it didn't. It felt more warm than any interior design she had seen. Piper suspected that it strongly had to do with the fact that it was Alex's house.

The raven-haired girl came back and sat down next to her. There wasn't much space between them seeing as the couch was so small, but she didn't mind, it was just another comforting thing. Alex reached for her cereal bowl and the blonde did the same.

A few minutes passed by of them just eating and mindlessly watching the bad sitcom. The lame and old fashioned jokes seemed so silly and not worth laughing at. Alex commented on a few of them or just the general fashion in the show; it seemed to be from the '90s. The mom jeans spoke for themselves. Piper only hummed in agreement as she held her tea cup with both her hands. The other girl put her cereal bowl on the table and turned to Piper.

"You're awfully quiet." Alex's eyes were so clear and green as soft moss. The blonde put her cup away and sat fully back against the couch.

"I'm sorry." It was her automatic response and she knew that she wasn't a fun person the be with. She didn't know why she was so low and withdrawn. The whole shit show that took place the day before was gone. It was left out by the door as soon as she had stepped foot in the raven-haired girl's house, as if she had hung up a heavy coat. She was supposed to be happy, but it was as if the looming feeling stood outside the door, trying to get in and chase the happiness away. Also, the fact that she hadn't explained everything that happened kept pulling at her attention. She wanted to explain, but she didn't really know how, like always.

"That's not something you need to apologize for." Alex said and raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"It's just..." Piper closed her eyes and sighed. Why were words so hard? Why was explaining something she felt or thought so much harder? Sweeping things under the carpet always seemed so much easier, at least it had felt so.

"Hey, you need to stop apologizing for everything. You have nothing to be sorry for, okay?" Alex turned her whole body towards Piper and leaned in a little further. One of her soft and gentle hands came up to stroke a stray piece of hair away from Piper's face. She wanted to lean into the touch, just listen to what the other had to say, but she felt like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Didn't she have everything to apologize for? Like how she demanded to come to Alex practically unannounced, crawling into the other's personal space. How she had destroyed everything with her parents. How she always apologized for everything. The list seemed so long.

"Yes, I do" It wasn't more than a whisper. The sitcom in the background roared with its distant canned laughter. It was dead voices still haunting the TV screen to show the audience at home when to laugh so they wouldn't be the only ones laughing. Alex withdrew her hand and furrowed her eyebrows. Maybe her patience was running out after all. Piper seemed to cause inconvenience after inconvenience.

"What could you possibly have to be sorry for?" Her voice was still soft, more puzzled than fed up. Piper lowered her head and took a shaky breath. Confessing was always so hard, no matter the crime.

"I haven't told you anything about why I came running to you. I just keep doing that and you're completely left in the dark." She was more or less talking to the couch instead of the other, seeing as she couldn't stand to face her. Shame was probably the word for it. Looking into the Alex's deep eyes seemed so impossible, like they would steal all of her words.

"I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you." Again the canned laughter bounced around the room. The terrible jokes filled the silence around them while her words still hung in the air. It almost felt like a surprise that they could hang in the air since they were so heavy. The couch's brown color didn't feel as comforting anymore. Even more suspense filled the room since the audience gasped, waiting for the flat plot to stretch even thinner. She felt a soft but urging finger underneath her chin, making her finally meet Alex's eyes. Still so undeservedly soft.

"I don't see it like that. I'm here as a friend, someone who will listen to you and be there for you in any way you might need me." If Piper were to guess the meaning of the raven-haired girl's name, it would mean what soft, gentle and humble would be combined. If her soul didn't have a place in the divinest after life then no one had a place there. And Piper just kept on being unfair to her. How was that right? She was such a coward, a scared rabbit running for her life in the opposite direction of every little fear or bump in the road that came her way.

"But it just feels so wrong not letting you in when you've been brave enough to do that." Her gaze returned to the worn brown of the couch. Even if it wasn't as comforting as the other's eyes it felt easier to talk to something that wasn't living. Then her words didn't have to meant as much as they actually did.

"Listen, I respect the fact that you don't want to talk about it. I understand that Piper, but I can see that it doesn't do you any good keeping it in. But I'll always be here. Whenever you're ready." Piper took some deep breaths. The tears were standing ready on the front line, ready to become rivers down her cheeks. She was struggling to find words, meanwhile the sitcom had gone to commercial. The advertisement of the workout gear sounded as old as the sitcom. It was preppy and as forced as squeezing out the last bit of toothpaste. And that was what it felt like; trying with all her might to force the confession out. She just didn't know how to put it into words and it just felt so overacted. Almost like she had built up some kind of suspense to Alex that she had to live up to. And she had to take the leap. The raven-haired girl was always so ready to do that for her, so she needed to jump with her, trust that the other would hold her hand during the fall.

"It's just... It's just so hard seeing mom _so _drunk all the time." The tears ran down her cheeks, silently and still. And she took another jump, forcing herself to meet the other's gaze. Making the words mean what they actually meant. Her whole life, words had always meant more than what they seemed to and she was sick of having to decode them all the time. If Alex was honest, Piper needed to be too. Not that she hadn't been, she just needed the words that came out of her to sound as heavy as they felt to her.

"I had to... had to follow her up to her bedroom. Sh-She could barely sit up on the sofa when I found her." Her tears pressed on more firmly now, making the words thick and hesitant. But the floodgates were open, there was nothing that could stop the rush that came.

"And I said... I said to her that she needed to stop this. That it's _hurting_ her, it's hurting all of _us_, but she just s-scoffed at me." The sobs came like winter always comes after autumn and it was surprising that she could keep her voice as steady as she could. Alex sat still and just listened to her.

"But she's hurting _so much_ and... I-I can't do anything about it." The salty drops obscured her vision so bad she could hardly see anything but the darkness of the other's hair. Piper covered her eyes with her hands, feeling arms embrace her and the softness of Alex's body. A hand stroked her hair in calming motions, but it couldn't calm the raging sea within her. The storm had been brewing for too long and hadn't fully had the chance to bloom out in all its might. All she could see behind her closed eyes were the flashes and stormy clouds releasing its anger inside her. Everything was just swirling around, mixing together and growing larger and larger, threatening to consume her for good.

"And I've been so hard on her. Yelling... being so angry with her, but it's all _dad's_ f-fault. She doesn't deserve this." The words were like waves calmly crashing against the shoreline, effortless and tired, nevertheless, they just kept coming.

"E-Even if she hasn't been the best mom, no one deserves to be treated like that. Like she's just... just some _thing_ that can be thrown around."

"And he... he just doesn't care. I told him what I thought, what I know, but he just... he just walked away."

"It's my fault." She continued, like a broken record.

"I created a bigger drift between them." By the time she finished, her whole body shook so terribly even if Alex tried to contain her in her arms. She did a good job with it and hushed her and placed gentle kisses on top of Piper's head.

"It's okay. It's not your fault." The raven-haired girl continued to whisper soothing things while Piper's tears continued to fall and make the other's shoulder wetter and wetter.

"It's my fault." Piper didn't know when, but she had moved her arms so she clung to the other.

"It's all my fault" The words drained her, making the sobs subside and nothing but stillness came over her again. But Alex didn't falter, she was firm and attentive in her consoling. The other kept whispering that it wasn't her fault and Piper hoped that she would be able to believe that soon.

Carefully, Alex helped her to her bedroom, laid them down on the bed and covered them with a blanket. Piper felt so empty all of a sudden. It was hard to determine if it was a good or bad emptiness, but it must've been good, since she had just rid herself of all the bad that had happened. At least in the sense of words. She wasn't the only one to know what was going on anymore, but the feelings were still there so it was just kind of a vacuum. Something between good and bad.

She continued to cling to the other, breathing in her warmth and tried to wash away everything that wasn't Alex, letting the other consume her completely in the stillness of the room.

When she woke up, the room was even darker. A light rain tapped at the windows, while the wind howled. Another storm. Autumn really wanted to show what it was worth. She pulled the blanket tighter around her, thinking she could feel the draught in the room from the wind outside. It was only then that she noticed that she was alone in Alex's room. Confused, she sat up in the bed and looked around her, but found no evidence of the other's presence.

Piper ventured out of the room, feeling a little unsure; she could hear hushed voices. She could tell that the voices were female and one of them was Alex's husky tones. Logically, the other would be the raven-haired girl's mom but it could also be one of her friends and the blonde had totally gotten in the way of the other getting to spend time with them. Hesitant, she took the few steps left to enter the combined kitchen and living room and was met with two raven-haired women. Alex spotted her right away and smiled softly. The other woman turned around immediately and it was almost a mirror image of Alex, or more like the raven-haired girl was a mirror image of the other woman. They both sat with cups in front of them, what was in them was hard to tell though.

"Mom, this is Piper." The raven-haired girl said. Her mom smiled and nodded, like she was approving what she saw or just confirming what Alex said. Piper actually felt a little intimidated, almost like she shrunk a little under the older woman's gaze. It almost always felt like that for her. The parents of her friends were the authority and meeting them was always scary no matter how nice they were. It felt like she had broken some rule when she was met with the parents, especially if she had arrived before the parents were present. It didn't matter that she was seventeen and almost an adult. She would probably always feel inferior to other adults.

"Hey, I'm Diane. Nice to meet you." Diane got up from the chair as she spoke and approached Piper. Alex's mother didn't seem mad or anything that the blonde was there unannounced, which made the blonde feel a little better. As Diane got closer, Piper was almost floored with how much the raven-haired teen looked like her.

The older woman hugged Piper hard. It was welcoming and whispered of warmth. She could see the good heart in the other woman.

"Thank you." Diane whispered, before letting her go, the blonde only nodded, understanding where the gratitude came from. She seemed as soft and caring as Alex and Piper already liked her.

"Are you hungry? I was just 'bout to make some waffles." Piper nodded, too shy to say anything. Diane seemed to be the essence of a mother. Not at all like her own mom who never even bothered to interact with her friends more than a cold "Hello", much less ask if they were hungry.

"I've heard so much 'bout you, honey. This one can't shut up 'bout you." Diane said fondly, casting a glance over her shoulder at Alex while she stood by the counter searching for the ingredients for the aforementioned waffles. Piper looked at Alex and could she that the other was actually blushing a little bit.

"And now I get why." It was Piper's time to blush, although more heavily than Alex. She could see a smirk tugging on the raven-haired girl's lips. Still feeling a little unsure, she stood awkwardly at the opening of the kitchen.

"Don't be a stranger, sit down! I won't bite! There's coffee in the pot if you'd like some." The older woman moved around the kitchen and started to prepare the food.

"Thank you, that would be great." Piper said shyly before she got up and poured some in a cup. She really needed the caffeine, even though she had slept through most of the day. She really wanted the bitter liquid to wake her up and besides, she couldn't remember the last time she ate.

"You wanna watch some TV?" Piper nodded and they sat down in brown couch again. Piper couldn't help but slightly cuddle up against the other, feeling like she needed the warmth. Or that's what she told herself, but she knew it was because she liked to be near the other. And they had really practiced closeness for better part of their relationship, so it would almost be weird not sitting so close to the other. Yet again, Piper paid little attention to the TV, she was more focused on Alex's running commentary of it. She also tried to do it, make observations that she thought would make the other laugh. After a while they ended up developing their own conspiracy theory of why the family had signed up for the show. Piper ended up laughing so hard she could feel it in her stomach.

Too soon, the smell of freshly baked waffles made its way into the TV-room across the half wall that separated the two rooms. Together, Piper and Alex helped set the table and the blonde could feel the tug in her stomach, or rather the hole in it roar angrily.

At the first bite, Piper was in heaven. She almost moaned out loud by the taste. The waffles were perfectly crispy and had a hint of vanilla in them and the cream and jam only made the experience even more divine. Diane laughed and asked her if she'd never tasted proper waffles before. She asked Piper to come by the diner where she worked sometime so she could get the full experience with the maple syrup they had there. The blonde nodded with a mouthful of heaven and continued to indulged in the divinity under Diane's amused gaze.

Piper lost count on how many she ate, but it was enough to properly fill her stomach and then some. She almost felt a little drowsy, but in that good way that makes one feel a little warm. The older woman had made another batch of coffee for them and poured the rest in a thermos so she could bring it to the night shift. They were indulged in light conversation and Piper didn't feel as shy in front of the older woman. The wind seemed to have subsided a bit, but the rain fell hard against the windows.

"Alright I'll leave you kids to it. Imma go get some sleep before the next shift." Diane rose from the chair and planted a kiss on top of the raven-haired girl's head and squeezed her shoulder.

"It was good meeting you Piper." Diane gave the blonde a hug and a meaningful pat on her shoulder before she went to her bedroom. The blonde almost felt a little jealous of the other for having such a good mother, but the warmth from the older woman's gestures chased the demons away. Alex smiled warmly and the blush rose high on Piper's cheeks.

Yet again, they found themselves in front of the TV. They sat even closer and Alex had brought them a blanket. Even if Piper fought with all her might, she couldn't keep her eyes open. The fullness from the food and the warmth from the blanket made for the perfect sleeping pill. And the fact that she had shuffled down a little in the couch and laid her head on the other's shoulder didn't help her fight against sleep either. She couldn't remember the last time she had ever felt so content. Everything was just dimmed, warm and soft, just what she needed to feel safe.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Trigger warning:** Physical and verbal abuse

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Kiss me hard in the pouring rain**_

She woke with a start. It felt like seconds ago that she closed her eyes, but was more realistically several minutes. Heavy and aggressive thuds coming from the door was probably the reason she woke up. She sat up and stared at Alex, her eyes probably as big as the other's. It was ongoing and it wasn't long before they heard a rough voice yell, muffled by the door.

"Hey! Open up!" She saw the raven-haired girl's eyes grow wider while her posture deflated. The voice sounded familiar and it took Piper a couple of seconds to connect the dots, but when she did, her blood froze and it traveled at an alarmingly fast rate through her body. It was _him. _The abuser.

"Open the fuck up!" The banging continued and it almost felt like it shook the whole house. Alex was completely frozen in place, totally paralyzed by the man's harsh voice. Piper didn't know what to do and the ice in her veins didn't help her to move either. It was like they were in the middle of a hurricane, despite everything standing still.

"Alex, go to your room, take Piper with you. I'll call the police." Both of them jumped at the older woman's appearance and Piper felt the force of her heart pulse through her. This man was seriously dangerous and there was no telling what he would do if he managed to get inside the house. Boosted by the hard shock waves that her heart kept washing over her, she shot up from the couch and held out her hand to Alex. The other looked so small and scared, brows furrowed and her eyes were so glossy.

"Come on, Alex." Piper whispered and she was surprised the air let the audio waves transmit her gentle words in the hostile environment, even though the other didn't react to them. The man continued to shout and bang on the door. The thuds seemed even more aggressive and heavy against the door than the minute before. Piper only hoped that the door would be enough of a barricade to keep him out.

Diane's voice swam over the cacophony of thuds, she was talking fast, almost like the words were raining out of her mouth. Her shoulders were pulled up and her posture was tense. The raven-haired girl was as stiff, almost like she had turned into stone, immortalized by bleak marble. The blonde continued to stare at the other, hand still out stretched. The urgency of the situation had taken away her ability to communicate. She wanted to obey Diane, move to a much safer location, even if it would still be in the same house, but fear paralyzes its victims so deeply. His voice was so menacing, like a big thunderstorm that was just above.

After what seemed like an eternity of the older woman's hectic words and echoing profanities from the abuser, Alex finally stood up. She was stiff like a marionette puppet and fear held her strings so tight. They started to move towards the relative safety of her room, almost crouched down as if the loud bangs would attack them. The raven-haired girl walked behind her and when she moved to open the door she saw that Alex lingered further down the corridor, looking back at the kitchen. Piper was about to tell the other to come to her, she felt so unsure without her, but the sudden stillness stopped her. The banging had stopped. Alex looked bewildered at the door and Diane emerged from the kitchen, phone still in her hand. It was a big old wireless one, almost as boxy as a brick. The antenna poked up behind the older woman's head. The cream white color of it was obscured by the dim lightning in the hallway. Diane was still talking to the operator, but seemed less urgent about their situation.

Suddenly, the sound of wood on wood crashed through the room and it was like someone had turned up the volume of the world. Alex backed up against the half wall and Diane looked so shocked. She dropped the phone onto the ground and the rest passed in slow motion. The man barged in and went straight for Diane, kicking the phone down the hall. He pushed her up against the wall, placing his forearm against her throat. He towered over her, almost a head taller. He was just huge and square like. The rain dropped from his worn leather jacket onto the floor and his jeans were stained with the rain, making the bright denim fabric darker in some spots. Diane tried to claw at him, but he was determined. He kept shouting just inches from her face. Alex chest rose and fell in heavy breaths. Diane managed to get a few punches to his face. Piper wouldn't stand a chance if she tried to intervene. Even if she hadn't been stuck to the floor boards beneath her feet, she seemed too small to matter. She wanted to help, just standing and watching felt so pointless and wrong. There was no telling how long it would take the police to get there and if she did something, that could potentially escalate his violence further.

Piper could hear Diane's sharp breaths. They seemed so strained and the blonde began to worry. She looked around her to find some kind of weapon, but couldn't find any. The white phone looked so small in comparison to his boxy figure. It would be like smashing it against a cement wall. The phone would probably shatter against him, doing little damage. He continued to shout, demanding answers from Diane. Piper looked up and saw the raven-haired girl charge straight for him. She wanted to call out for her to stop, but it was too late. Alex collided with him, but didn't manage to take him down to the floor, but he lost balance and Diane managed to escape his hold. It didn't throw him off for long and he easily pushed her away. The push was so hard that Alex fell backwards and hit the ground hard. He was going after her, possibly to kick her or something equally violent, but Diane stopped him with forceful punches to his back. Piper could hear his booming voice as he turned around and fended off the older woman's flailing hands. It was an easy match for him, just simply taking the hits to his chest and before either of them could react to what was about to happen, the flat and meaty sound of a fist colliding with skin and bone dully echoed around the house. The older woman grunted and stumbled backwards.

Piper saw him raise his fist again.

Diane crumbled under the impending weight of the gesture. Before he could raise it further, Alex's clear voice rang through the house. Piper had never heard a more raw and broken "no" in her whole life. It cut through the air and it sounded like nails being dragged against a chalkboard. The sheer force and desperation of it shook Piper down to her soul, grazed the surface of it and made ripples that reached her skin, eliciting goosebumps. The next thing she saw was Alex, once again, charging towards the man, slamming into him and started to punch. The blows weren't better aimed than Diane's, but they seemed harder since he actually crouched down a bit and huffed when Alex's fists hit him.

The "match" didn't remain one sided for long. He straightened up and caught one of the raven-haired girl's hands. She gasped in surprise and tried with all her might to free herself from his grip, but it was too strong. She saw Alex's body twist in pain by his strong hold around her wrist, but it didn't stop her from trying to break free as she desperately tried to tug her hand loose. Again, Piper felt a surge of energy through her body. She wanted to reach out, wanted to run to Alex and help her, but she didn't trust her fist to do anything good. She had seen the other women fail, nothing seemed to affect him so what could the blonde's small hands do to him that would save the others? Nothing. She was just a prisoner to the icy prison that was so paralyzing, cursed to watch the violent and horrific scene play out before her. She had never felt so heavy, like lead was pumping through her veins instead of blood. The air had never seemed so thick when she saw the man practically drag Alex to the wall and slammed her against it. He brought his free hand to her throat and applied pressure. Even if she stood a couple of feet away from him, she could see the veins in his hand bulge as he squeezed harder.

Hearing Alex gasp for breath was like taking a cold shower. That cold autumn day flashed before her eyes. How their feet thudded against the leaf littered ground. The rough surface of the stone that they hid behind and the other's shallow and suppressed breaths. But with the other up against the wall with the hand of her oppressor around her throat, it was more or less a matter of life and death. The mans sharp voice cut through as he screamed at Alex, accusing her of being the reason Diane left him. It was almost like his voice was the action call to all of them, seeing as the older woman started to tear at his arm, only to be pushed away. That didn't stop the other from trying again and again. It just rendered the same results, Diane being pushed away and his grip staying firm around the raven-haired girl's throat. Piper knew she needed to at least try to do something. Her eyes landed on the phone. It was the only thing that might be able to have an effect on him. Forcing herself into motion, she swiftly picked the phone up and ran towards him, just shutting every sensible thought off. She didn't know what to do, but she didn't need to know that. The only thing that matter was that she tried to do something.

She almost had to jump to reach his head, but she managed to smash the phone against it with all of her force. As she had predicted, it shattered and the plastic pieces separated from each other. Thankfully, it was successful, but only in gaining his attention. He turned his head towards her as she stumbled backwards from the force of her stunt. Piper quivered; his eyes were hard as steel and vicious as a melting furnace. His shoulders were broader up close. A wicked smirk tugged at his lips as he released his grip around Alex's throat. The acne scars were deep and viciously red against his pale skin and the short stub on his head just added to the maliciousness he seemed to radiate. He took a couple of steps towards her, but Piper wanted to keep her distance to him. She could hear Alex cough and gasp in the background.

"So, you're the girlfriend, huh?" He smelled of beer and cigarets, the stench so overwhelming that she could smell it despite the slight distance between them. It was so pungent that she almost wanted to retch. He continued to walk with big steps toward Piper and it felt like the air was about to run out, like he had laid claim on it all.

"I wonder what lies she fed you. Poor little thing doesn't know what's right sometimes. Always in another world with her books and shit." His voice was like a snake's, low and raspy and so threatening. It dripped with venom, like the words he spoke would invade her brain and take over. It felt almost calculated, like he knew that he was provoking her and wanted to see the reaction from her so he could beat it down. The only thing that was missing was the flicking tongue, poking out to taste the fear in the air. It was so sickening to observe and to think that she'd had to put up with this man on a regular basis was unimaginable. It was yet another testament to how strong the other girl was.

She kept backing away from him, but she knew that the corridor would end soon, too soon. There was no way out, beside sneaking into Alex's room and seeing how badly the front door held up, she had no hope of a long lasting refuge. Her breaths were hard and fast and the man came closer and closer while she tried to keep the distance equal between them, but soon enough she felt the wall against her back. His silhouette towered over her. She raised her clenched fist to her face and sank down into a ball. She had given up the hope of being able to protect herself in any other way. She wondered if it would hurt and how long she would have to endure it. Her whole body was so taut, strained to the point where she thought she would shatter into a million pieces, blowing up like a firework launched into oblivion if someone were to actually touch her. Maybe it didn't have to hurt after all. Her eyes were shut so hard she could already see the starts she was about to be flung towards. She almost found herself longing.

Before she could think anything else, she felt herself being dragged up and slammed against the wall, her head banging against the wood. Surprising her so much that her eyes flew open. She grunted out, the force of her head connecting with the wall rang in her ears, disorienting her for a moment. Before she could react or try to get out of his grip he took a hold of her shirt with both of his hands. His stare was even harder up close. She felt his rough hand squeeze her jaw hard. The spit flew from his mouth and landed on her face as he yelled at her. He wanted her to tell him what Alex had said. The foul smell of the man hit her even stronger when he was so close. His other hand held her shirt firmly, rendering her incapable of escaping. The hand fisting her shirt disappeared for a few seconds and she heard a thud before it returned.

His claw like grip on her jaw was so hard that she couldn't answer even if she wanted to, but he didn't seem to realize as he continued to yell at her, demanding answers. It started to hurt and she tried to twist and turn her head to get out of it, his nails digging into her flesh as she did and she yelped when he hardened his grip. Tears started to form in her eyes as his nails seemed to dig even deeper into her cheeks. She closed her eyes as she waited for another wave of verbal abuse to hit her face, but it never came. Instead, his hands disappeared from her and she took her chance and sank down into her protective ball again, shielding her face with her fists again.

Loud voices screamed like sirens, but it all swam around in her head. They were so urgent and hard and the words they shouted didn't make any sense. The floor shook, almost like a herd stampeded on it and then a hard shockwave traveled through the floor, before it calmed down, the floorboards still creaking under the weight of whoever just entered. She trembled, still expecting the fists of the other man to connect with her body. Time seemed to pause and loose its meaning. The voices were still there, but seemed to be fighting with the man. The fact that his attention seemed to be elsewhere made her open her eyes. There were two people laying on top of the man while a third seemed to restrain him. Blue and red flashes blended with the dim yellow light flooding down the corridor. Stunned, she watched the scene play out in front of her. The police officers raised the man from the floor and escorted him out of the house. She heavily exhaled a breath she didn't even know she had been holding and it felt so refreshing to be able to breathe again. Her hands shook, but it didn't matter, the man was taken care of.

She was so focused on the air rushing into her lungs again that she didn't hear anything that was going on around her. She could see feet moving around before here, but feet are just feet. There was no way of telling who was who. She saw a pair moving toward her, but she didn't have the strength in her to raise her head to actually look at the person who the feet belonged to. It was a paramedic. All sympathetic eyes and gentle hands. Not as gentle as Alex's, though. The paramedic escorted her down the hall and passed the kitchen. She could see Diane, a medical cold pack pressed to her jaw while a police officer talked to her. An image flickered before her eyes and for a second she could hear the meaty sound echoing again. She drew a sharp breath and trembled even more, so much that she had to lean into the paramedic. It was comforting having someone to lean on, but where was Alex? She wanted and needed to be in the other's arms. That would've been more comforting instead of having to lean on a stranger, even though the woman was nice and tried her best to console Piper.

She tried hard to move her legs again after the involuntary flashback and the paramedic waited patiently for her to compose herself. The woman kept leading her all the while asking a lot of questions. The questions were simple: "What's your name?", "How old are you?" and the like. They echoed distantly in her head and she answered them automatically, no thought behind them. The paramedic explained that she was in shock and went on to tell her how to breathe and stroked up and down her back. When they got out, she could see a big white ambulance. The woman steered her quickly toward the vehicle, pulling Piper closer to protect her from the cold. It did little to nothing as the sky was still an open faucet. The rain hit her hard in the face and it felt like waking up on a Sunday.

She could see Alex being examined by another paramedic in the back of the ambulance, sitting upright on a stretcher. A wave of relief washed over her when she saw other, but it was washed away as quickly as bad mascara in rain. The man pressed and squeezed at her throat and she could she the other girl wince at the pain it obviously caused. He scribbled down something on a clipboard and said something Piper couldn't hear. She wanted to run to the other girl and just hold her. She didn't need medical attention, only Alex's arms would put a patch on her soul. She wanted the paramedics to only focus on the other, she was the one who needed it. Nevertheless, the woman's grip around her remained firm. The blonde was told to sit down opposite Alex inside the ambulance and never for a second did she tear her gaze away from the raven-haired girl.

Her cheeks were wet and she was shaking too. She looked so terrified and small under the red blanket. The blonde could only focus on the other, trying to convey comfort and that they were okay. But her focus soon shifted. Piper hadn't seen the bruises that Alex had gotten. The marks form _his_ hand on her throat looked so vicious in the too bright light of the medical vehicle. It looked like he had tied a red and purple ribbon around her throat. That thought formed a hard knot in her stomach and she had a hard time looking away from it, but the paramedic kept poking at her attention with more questions, wondering if she was hurt somewhere else. Piper answered shortly and said that she was fine, hoping to be left alone with Alex soon. However, the woman was persistent and started to examine her face and asked if she had neck pains. The woman felt around her head and stated that she had a swelling on the back of her head. Piper frowned and raised her hand to feel said lump, but when she opened her hand she saw blood. She froze, staring at the dark red mess, opening her other hand to see if it looked the same. It did. She must have clenched her fists so hard she drew blood. The paramedic also saw this and cleaned them carefully, putting on compressors to cover them up. She watched as the woman prepared another alcohol soaked wad of cotton, wondering what they were for. As the wad made contact with her cheek she felt a sharp sting and winced, his nails must have scraped her cheek. It was only then that she really realized how sore her entire jaw was. The paramedic told her that her chin would be bruised, but that it would fade after a couple of days. In other words, she would be fine. Physically.

Soon enough they were both cleared to leave and the both exited the ambulance and walked towards the house again, but didn't make it that far. Finally, Piper felt herself relax and circled her arms around the other, burying her hands in Alex's soft hair. She could feel the other flinch a little and she immediately released her from her grip. She had forgotten about the red marks around her throat and the embrace put pressure against the swelling. The air seemed to be gone again as images of Alex being pressed up against the wall with the man's strong hand around her throat flashed before her eyes. Her vision blurred and she desperately reached for the other again. She mumbled out apology after apology. She hadn't done anything, had just stood passively and watched as the abuse went on. Her apathy shouldn't have smothered her as the hand around Alex's throat had. She should have done something sooner. There wasn't supposed to be a red mark around the other's throat. Alex's hushed reassurances shouldn't have sounded so hoarse and broken.

Alex untangled herself from her grip and carefully stroked her cheek. She smiled a sad, but relieved smile. It was over, truly over. Tears were still painting her cheeks. Sounds slowly returned to the world, but the blonde couldn't pin point the moment they had disappeared. She could hear police officer's talk around her. The atmosphere was still laced with seriousness, but it felt so much lighter than it had.

It was so cathartic to feel the icy drops against her skin. Almost like it could wash away every image that was etched to her eyelids. The images would forever be burned into an ugly scar with acid. She closed her eyes for a moment. Even though she saw that damn _scar_ every time she did, she tried to think that the darkness would hide them. The thing with darkness is that it just _hides_ things, but it doesn't erase them and their presence always lurks around. At least it was a comfort to just pretend that the darkness swallowed and killed them.

The air's icy tinge gave her a rush, almost like she had forgotten how it felt to be alive and to be breathing. She hadn't realized how suffocating the warmth of the house had been. The only warmth that felt comforting was Alex's body that was tightly pressed against her. She opened her eyes and looked at the other. Her green pools reflected the slowly flashing lights. The tears that was collected there, but tightly held, created a glassy layer on the retina, but they still looked so dull. The other girl didn't really seem to be present, like she had checked out. She took one of her shaky hands stroke the other's cheek, trying to wipe the tears and rain away. Of course it was futile, but it gave her purpose and she hoped that she could wake the other, bring her back to the dark and cold world that surrounded them. Again, she was so selfish for wanting the raven-haired girl's attention all to herself, but she knew that what ever land the other was imprisoned in, it wasn't better than reality. As soon as her hand made contact with Alex's cheek, she blinked and squeezed Piper tighter to her. Her eyes seemed more awake, like she had found a purpose.

The scars, physical and mental ones, would never leave her, neither would they leave Piper. If their bond had been a chain before, it had evolved into a tattooed on their skin. Marking their skin forever.

Even though the rain was freezing, it couldn't bring her out of the trance the other always lured her into. The world fell away. It was just them, nothing else, not even the rain. She couldn't feel how cold her hand was, only the warmth it met every time her thumb moved over the damp skin. Without her glasses, which must have fallen off, she seemed ever softer, but sharper somehow, like she had all of her cards on the table. It was so much easier to drown in the soft and mellow, green eyes.

Even in her broken state, she was still so effortlessly beautiful and it took Piper's breath away time and time again. She felt her body beginning to tremble, like it had the night before, heart moving into her throat and settling there. She had to part her lips to be able to breathe somewhat properly. The flashes of the police sirens pulsed over the other's skin and colored the rain drops on her cheeks. She couldn't stop the trembles from extending further and become noticeable, and Alex probably mistook it for her freezing as she squeezed her even tighter against her body. Their clothes started to soak through, clinging tighter to their skin, but it didn't matter. Her hearth began to beat faster and faster, the night in her couch flashed before her and she couldn't stop herself from leaning in a little bit, her eyes fluttering down to the other's lips. She couldn't have been more obvious if she had said the words, but she didn't need to. Ever since that first contact between their lips she had craved it again, like an addict craves a fix. There didn't need to be any reassuring words or hesitant pauses, she was so sure of it.

Alex leaned in and everything just stopped moving as their eyes fluttered shut. Piper's memory didn't do Alex's lips justice; they were softer than any fabric in the world and gentler than she remembered. With just a simple touch she was breathless, but gasping for more. She leaned in further, even if it wasn't really possible to be closer to the other than she already was. Her hand tangled in wet locks and brought her mouth closer. It was like a shock wave had emitted from their connected lips, blasting through her body and waking every nerve ending, making them greedily strain against her skin. Almost like she had been hit with a defibrillator. She didn't even know that her heart had stopped beating and it almost felt strange to feel it thump again. Her breath was tangled in her throat and she tried with all her might to calm it, but the fullness of Alex's lips was just too much. The kiss was slow and as intimate as a wedding waltz, but so raw and desperate. Alex took her time moving her lips, but she moved them with purpose. The raven-haired girl had moved one of her hands from Piper's waist to her cheek, but the other clung to her waist like she was a life raft.

She wanted to give back as much as the raven-haired girl gave her, wanted to be equally caring and thoughtful when she kissed back. She strained so much to just feel everything the other gave her and she had to stand on the tips of her toes to be able to reach properly, her hand gripping tighter in the raven locks trying to give back as much as she could. The last time Alex kissed her, she had been too mesmerized to really reciprocated as much as she had wanted to. Being a little more grounded, she could really show how much the kiss meant and how much Alex meant to Piper. She wished she could pour her heart into a cup and give the other. Maybe she already had. At least it felt that way. When she had lost that first game of Scrabble, it had been like she had put her heart in the pot and her brain making her loose on purpose just so she could give the grand price to the other. She had come to learn that it all had started that night. That night, she'd started to fall in love with Alex.

Even though her pulse was beating faster than a speeding train, it felt like she was being enveloped by silk that caressed her in the most gentle way. It was like a balm to her soul and she couldn't think of a single thing in the world that she had needed more than she had needed Alex's lips against hers. The kiss just cleared her mind, no creases or edges could exist when she was being handled so carefully and softly. She finally felt awake, aware of even the tiniest molecules around her. Alex tasted so light, as light as air felt. The raven-haired girl's breath came in tiny little warm puffs against the blonde's cheeks. It just sent light through her body and it was like she was being resurrected. It was completing, nothing else would ever feel as right as the kiss she was given.

Breathless, she leaned her forehead against the other's, just basking in the embrace. She didn't open her eyes, wanting to pretend that the world was just her and Alex. Slowly, the sounds of the world came back to her, almost like the rain was washing away the moment. All of the voices around her kept talking seriously, but it didn't override Alex's warm breath that kept fanning over her cheeks. She just wanted to stay a little longer in oblivion with the other. Piper was still trembling, but the rain wasn't the cause of it, nor did it feel uncomfortable. She only wanted more and her whole body was buzzing, feeling more alive than ever. Without thinking much else, she leaned in again and claimed what she wanted. It was even softer and slower, just tying their knot even tighter. Equally breathless, she had to tear herself away from the other's lips again. She opened her eyes, meeting those mellow, green ones.

"God, I've wanted to do that for such a long time." Piper breathed out, a blush coloring her cheeks when she realized what she had said. She could see a smirk growing on Alex's lips as she nodded, a raspy chuckle making it's way out into the air, but is soon died out. The raven-haired girl's face contorted into a grimace and she closed her eyes. Piper did the same, trying hard to erase the loop that played in there of Alex against the wall with that meaty hand around it, the veins bulging out from it and the hard eyes she had come face to face with.

She was almost grateful that an officer came and interrupted the loop, although she wanted more time alone with the other. The officer wanted to take their statements so Piper spoke for both of them. The growing marks around the other's throat glowed in the lights from the patrol cars. After he took their statements, he also took their names. When Alex said hers, it almost sounded like someone dragged a knife through the other's throat. The cop went to his car and they turned back into their little bubble again, but it was soon shattered when he returned after a while and looked sharply at the blonde. She felt her stomach sink.

"Miss, I've informed your parents of your whereabouts and I am going to take you home." The officer straightened his back, making him seem a little taller and more authoritative.

"What? Why?" Piper felt like her whole existence molded itself into a question mark, but dread started to gather in her. It settled hard in the pit of her stomach.

"They reported you missing this morning." Piper closed her eyes, guilt washing over her like the rain. It pierced through her veins hard, shooting out from the ball of dread. All she had wanted was to get away from them, but all she had managed was to yet again create a bigger mess of it all, her selfishness striking and hitting home as always. The cruelness of her actions set like a bitter and heavy layer around her, but she still didn't want to go home. She just wanted to stay with Alex. The other girl needed her and she did too. After everything that had happened, how could she just go home? She squeezed Alex tighter to her.

"I can walk home, there's no need for you to drive me." Piper said, and she felt Alex's hand stroke her uninjured cheek, but she just wanted to hide in the other's neck. She just wanted to be left alone with the other so she could crawl back into their bubble and never see the light of reality again, just sweep her shame under the carpet and pretend it didn't exist in the first place, but the tug in her stomach would always be present. That little voice ringing in her head, screaming in the distance that she had done something wrong. All she did was cause problems, not even the tender hand on her cheek could keep her calm. If she could just get a little more time with the other, it would feel a little better. She could even call her parents and tell them that she was fine and coming home, but she was interrupted in her wishful thinking by the officer.

"Miss, if you would please just follow me there won't be any problems." The officer stepped closer to them and Piper felt herself shrinking. There was no way out of it. She descended into that cloud again, like she always did when she was forced to be separated from Alex. It felt so unfair. She didn't want to leave the other, but how could she refuse an officer, an enforcer of the law? She couldn't and it made her deflate completely. She looked back to the raven-haired girl, the tears stung her eyes.

Even though they stood close, it almost felt like she flung herself towards the other and gripped on to her in a desperate and fierce hug. She tried to mold herself into the other, so that they could become one. Maybe then she didn't have to go back.

"I'm so sorry." Piper forced out in a frantic whisper.

"I'll text you... I'm sorry." She just felt the other nod and squeeze her tighter. Piper made some space for herself, she couldn't leave without feeling the other's lips again. The kiss was hard and rushed. The clock was ticking away too loud and it was as if they both were trying to pour their life into it. Piper was gasping trying to breathe it in, so she could survive without the other.

The officer cleared his throat after a while, pulling the rope and sending the blade down the tracks. Every little fiber and nerve ending in her body was screaming at her to not let go of the raven-haired girl, it almost felt like she tore away yet another bit of her soul and it was exhausting. She looked at Alex, and hoped that she could see how much she didn't want to go back to her parents' house. Alex was her home, how could she want to be somewhere else? The blonde turned to the officer and nodded, but she couldn't look at him. Her body weighed too much it was just an effort to move away from Alex. She wanted and needed to be near the other, but the world was completely set on separating them time and time again.

"I just have to go get my bag." The officer stopped in front of Piper and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Just follow me. Officer Shaw can get it for you. If you, Miss Vause, can guide him to it." The raven-haired girl nodded, but didn't take her eyes away from Piper and Piper didn't take her eyes away from Alex either. The blonde felt so ripped. The police had torn her in half, or rather, her parents had since they were the ones forcing her back. She felt the tears again. They felt like ice, but at the same time they were of fire. She was so angry with her fate, of not being an adult, not being able to do what she wanted and of other people holding _her_ strings.

The hand on her shoulder was heavy and intrusive, forcing her to turn around and practically rip her gaze from the other. She wanted to shake off the hand, but that would most likely create problems, so she quietly walked to the car and resigned to her fate, hoping that she would soon get to see the other again. She tried to turn around and catch a last glance of the other, but she could only get a quick glance as the officer more or less steered her in the other direction, forcing her to turn away.

**AN:** I am sorry, I feel like the ending was wrapped up too quickly, but I just couldn't capture it the way I wanted to... Alright, only one/two more chapter's to go. If I decide to do a second chapter, it is going to be an epilog, provided that you guys want one, so please let me know if you want one. Thanks again for reading, you guys are the best and most patient readers. Thank you. Love always.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN:** It's official, I freaking suck. Completely and utterly suck. Life is has been way harsh, but I know, excuses, excuses. Anyhow, just beware, this chapter is _very_ dialogue heavy. And... I've come to the conclusion that I need another chapter between this and the epilogue. I have no chill and don't know when to stop either so... It was not the way I had planned it. But this isn't the happiest or best chapter to end a story with and it just wouldn't feel right to end this story on this note. I'm guessing that you don't mind, hopefully. Anyway, to the reading!

Thanks for reading. Love always.

_**Those autumn nights seem long ago**_

The ride home in the police car was silent. The worldly sounds, such as the hum of the motor and the static chatter over the police radio, drowned out everything else. It became like a woven net. A net that trapped her, forcing her to just focus on the world, but she didn't want that. She wanted oblivion again. Wanted Alex's safe arms around her again. Wanted the TV in the other girl's living room to be the only reminder that the world kept turning around her and Alex's slow breaths. Not the streetlights flickering in the rain drops that dripped down the car window nor the distorted voice over the radio. They were too real.

At first, the police officer had tried to keep a conversation with her, but when she didn't reply he gave up. Piper just wanted to be left alone, wanted to get rid of all of the authority in her life that kept her apart from Alex. Coming home and explaining to her parents where she had been and what had happened was like strapping herself to a bomb, and her parents would push the trigger and make it blow up, killing her freedom once again. She doubted that her parents would understand what had happened. She didn't even know if she should tell them. They were going to demand answers, but she wasn't so sure that they would like them. They never did and how could they understand what she and Alex shared? Her mother would not be understanding of what the raven-haired girl had been through and her father would have that stupid disapproving look on his face. Like he had the right to judge her. It was so belittling and she was sick and tired of being treated as a child in all situations that weren't about her accomplishing something. Then she was expected to be an adult. And her falling in love with a woman? That was not in the stars for her, at least not according to her parents' picture perfect lifestyle, so telling them would only cause more problem.

She clenched her fists, feeling the compressors against her nails.

But God, did she want to tell them about her. It didn't seem fair to refer to Alex as her friend since they had clearly moved beyond that. And it was scary, but it was something that she couldn't deny and quite frankly, she just wanted to stop her shitty family tradition of denying things. She had fallen in love with Alex. She was _in love_ with Alex. So deeply. It was that simple. Hard and scary, but so simple.

Even if she told the truth, it would be disregarded by her parents, but they disregarded pretty much anything else that she wanted. It wouldn't matter to them, their opinion would not change, but it would matter to her. So she would tell them. They needed to hear some truth once in a while and she had stopped subscribing to their way of life. She would tell them exactly what had happened, exactly what she felt. And they would just have to listen. They just didn't need to know how she had met Alex. That would do more harm than anything.

Piper sighed. Even if she had a game plan, it still felt like she had to climb Mount Everest in flip flops.

She was completely still. Moving or even looking away from the car window felt so pointless. Maybe if she was completely still, she would go numb enough to float out into oblivion. Sweeping the looming hell under the carpet for a few minutes. Clinging to her family traditions for just a minute. She could definitely use the break.

Her breaths became fog against the window. A fluctuating condensation. Something that moved in a steady rhythm. Something to focus on. Something that didn't require anything of her. It was just a small detail. She felt herself finally retreat further and further away from the world. Thinking about yet another dramatic return home was draining. Piper wondered if she would ever feel fully rested again when she kept being pulled from the raven-haired girl's arms. That was the only place where she could truly relax. But the night's event hung close in her mind and wasn't so easy to obliterate. Alex's eyes pierced every layer of her mind. How they had looked as she had to walk away from her. How she had looked in the back of the ambulance. The mark around her neck. But they kept being distorted. The man's angry face flashed in between Alex's. It all closed in on her so fast that she had to refocus her eyes so the images didn't burn onto her retina. She sighed deeply again and wondered how Alex was coping. Did she also have bursts of images that just jumped at her whenever she was relaxed enough? Did her throat pulse as a constant reminder? Could she breathe okay? The blonde wasn't sure that she herself could do that. She couldn't when she thought about what had happened. Piper hoped that Diane didn't go to work so Alex would at least have someone there to take care of her. Someone to hug her.

Her jaw continued to pulse from where the man had gripped her. The paramedic had told her to take an aspirin if the pain got unbearable, but it rather felt like a welcomed distraction, something that kept pulling her back to reality, something that prevented her from relaxing. It was strange how she just minutes ago had a burning wish to escape from the world, but it seemed that her escape was tainted by that fucking man. He was a rotten piece of wasted flesh that should've been deprived of his liberty a long time ago. At least he was taken care of and would hopefully spend many years behind bars.

The ride back home seemed to take an eternity, but at the same time was all too short. But one can't postpone the inevitable and she had made up her mind. For everyone's sake, the truth needed to be said.

The officer walked her up to their door with a hand on her shoulder. She wanted to shake his hand off, wanted to turn around and just run away, run until she finally met Alex again. But she had done that enough already. She needed to face the consequences and get it over with. Just rip the band-aid off.

When the door opened, she was not met with relieved eyes, but she hadn't really expected that either. Her father looked more stern and angry. She could smell the whiskey off of him, but the police officer didn't seem to mind, even though the odor was quite heavy and wasn't something that could be dismissed as something else, like cologne. She wanted to roll her eyes. Her dad was so predictable. Maybe she had disrupted his plans of going out with one of his booty calls. But a missing daughter had put a halt in his plans so he had needed to stay at home, trying to calm his, most likely, drunk wife, who was probably acting more worried than she was as an excuse to drink. That's why he had drank so much too; because he was forced to stay at home, not being able to satisfy his _clients. _It was her theory, at least.

The officer and her dad talked a little bit, so she just walked passed her dad, holding her breath. When she had passed him, she finally exhaled, mostly due to lack of oxygen, but also because she just needed to release some tension from her body. She was in an active war zone that could blow up any second. The imaginary bomb west she was strapped to seemed to tightened around her chest, making it feel like she was trapped in a tight space that could barley fit her body. She couldn't afford to panic, there was no way she trusted her parents with that spectrum of emotions. Once again she was forced to take a deep breath, the only thing that felt somewhat calming.

As she hung up her jacket, her brother came down the stairs. His eyes were big and worried, something she had seldom, if ever, seen in his kind eyes. He gave her a once over, as if the assure himself that she had arrived home in one piece. Piper was beginning to worry since her little brother didn't say anything. He just stood there and seemed to consider his next step. She could still hear her dad and the police talking, but it seemed to be happening in another dimension, something that felt completely unrelated to her.

After what seemed like an eternity of them being completely frozen, Cal walked up to her and put his arms around her.

"I'm glad you're alright, sis." Cal whispered into her ear as he hugged her a little bit tighter. She returned the sentiment and just breathed in the only friendly and homely thing about the house. He was a shelter. A bulletproof shelter. No matter how it would all go down, he would remain the same. At least, that was what she hoped for.

When they let go of each other, she saw his eyes glimmer as if unshed tears lingered. He looked away, clearing his throat and rubbed his eyes.

"Shit, your soaked. You should change before you get sick. Plus, mom would freak if she saw you like that." Cal said and turned to her. Piper just nodded and headed up the stairs to her room. She hadn't even thought about her clothes being wet from the icy rain. It hadn't mattered. There was so much else she'd had to focus on. But after her little brother's comment, she could actually feel how cold and heavy they were, just like the night's events, sticking to her like a second skin. The only light thing about the day was the time before and after the man barged in. And the kiss. A kiss that made her feel whole and safe. She was happy that Alex had wanted to return it and that she seemed to harbor the same feelings as Piper did. It made her feel warm, despite the damp cold her clothes exuded.

Cal knocked on her door a while later, saying that her dad wanted her to come down to the living room.

"Mom's been up the wall all day, pacing a hole in her precious Persian carpet. So you know, tread the water carefully." Cal whispered, and chuckled weakly. Piper smiled, glad to hear the sarcasm. She was also thankful for the warning. Her mother was difficult to handle at the best of times, so her being agitated would not help her case at all.

"I will." Piper said, but they both paused, unsure of how to continue and the blonde just wanted to postpone her descent to the living room.

"Are you okay, though?" He carefully asked. And she felt some of the pressure around her chest vanish as her heart beat heavy with the sentiment in his voice. He was the first one in her family to ever ask if she was okay. The first one to ask and _mean _it.

"Yeah. Mostly, yeah." The blonde looked down at her feet and fought hard to keep all of the images out, tried to narrow them down to only the one of Alex's sleeping face, trying hard to imprint it so it was the first thing she saw whenever she closed her eyes. She sighed again as the calming effect of the raven-haired girl's angelic face flooded her veins with serenity. It slowed her racing heart so she could turn to look at her brother again.

He nodded and turned to leave, but she gripped his hand. She couldn't go through it alone and seeing as he was her bulletproof shelter, he was vital to the operation. He simply nodded again, catching the hint, and followed her to the living room.

When she entered the scene where the actual war would take place, she saw her dad with a generous glass of whiskey, leaning against a bookshelf looking out the patio doors. He didn't even seem to pay attention to his upset wife who was indeed pacing the length of the room with a high glass filled with what was most likely gin and tonic. Why did he always have to be so passive? It was as if he existed in another world. She closed her eyes for a brief moment before she announced her presence with a heavy sigh.

"Piper!" Her mother exclaimed and turned towards her and finally stopped her pacing. However, she didn't approach Piper to maybe hug her or something. No, her mother was good at keeping distances, even to her daughter.

"Dear Lord, what have you done to your face?!" Carol gasped and actually took a step closer. Shit, she had forgotten about the marks. She raised a hand to cover them up as best as she could and felt the compress on her hand. Fuck, the situation would get even more complicated than she thought. The bruise and scratches on her chin pulsed even harder, like a huge, ugly zit, just waiting to burst the infected truth out there for everyone to see.

"It's... it's a long story, mom." Piper sighed and braced herself. She had to be brave, no matter how they reacted, or rather her mom, since her dad didn't even flinch when her mom raised her voice.

"Well, start explaining yourself then, young lady!" Her mother shifted her weight over to the other foot, jutting her hip out, raising her hand and pointed to Piper.

"You had us so worried!" Carol said, but Piper wasn't so sure. Her father hadn't even looked in her direction and continued to drink his whiskey as if he was alone in the room.

"Where have you even been?" Her mother demanded in a steely voice, letting the hand fall to her side.

"I was..." And here the truth would come. She felt herself starting to shake. It was so scary, but she was determined to do it. She was tired of being a pawn in their social life game show.

"I was outside the... the trailer park." There. It was out. One part down, one more to go. She hated the way it sounded, because she knew how her mom would take it. And seeing her raise the glass to her mouth and take a large gulp of the transparent liquid confirmed how she would react. It was always the same old story. We and them. The poor and rich, but no one dared to take those two strong words in their mouths unless they knew that they were amongst the same type of people.

"What on earth were you doing over there? In that... that s_lum area?_" Carol practically spat out. Piper rolled her eyes. So fucking predictable. Enter the word vomit, the most delightful quality she and her mother shared.

"Were you taken against your will?!" Her mother's eyes grew larger and she just started at Piper, silently demanding answers for a split of a second. However, Piper wasn't granted any more time to answer the question as her mother continued.

"Was it even a house they found you in? Or, uh... some... some kind of shed?"

"Thank the Lord that the police came and got you out of there."

"You could've been killed!"

"Or... or sold to some _pimp_ to be his-" Carol gasped and put the hand that didn't hold the gin glass over her mouth. Her mother hadn't even stopped to take a breath in between her outrageous statements, but what she was about to say was such a terrible thought that her mother couldn't say it. _It was a terrible thought _as it was something that could have happened. However, just because she had been in a less fortunate area, it didn't mean that only criminals and thugs lived there. Her mother needed a reality check and frankly the blonde had heard enough.

"Mom, stop." Piper raised her voice, not enough to yell, but enough to pull her mother out from her spiral of thoughts. Her dad hadn't even blinked as far as she could see.

"I'm okay, alright? Just... Look. It's complicated, okay?" Piper sighed and slumped down on the couch. The whiteness of it seemed like a stark contrast against the couch she had been in just a couple of hours earlier, and it felt so stiff, nothing like the comfort she had experienced before the whole _incident._ Piper took another breath before she looked up to asses the room. Her mother was finally quiet and her dad as immobile as before. She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from lashing out on him. He would get his piece eventually, but she needed to focus. Her mother's tirade had messed up her whole line of argument.

"No. It was my decision, no one forced me or took me." The blonde finally scoffed out. Her mother's line of argument made it all sound like a movie, like some bad guy showed up to their house to steal their _precious_ daughter. It was clear that she had also gotten her patience from her mother, seeing as she had been so pushy with Alex to tell her what had happened. The shared characteristic reared its ugly head when her mother couldn't even wait for Piper to explain further before she felt the need to fill the room with her voice.

"What on earth made you think that you could walk out of the house like that? You didn't even say anything, not to mention that you were- _are_ grounded!" Carol took another large gulp out of the glass and Piper saw her sway a little bit.

The blonde clenched her jaw. It felt so unfair that she was treated like a child. Being restricted by stupid rules and what not and the fact that her mother had chosen to point this out didn't help at all to ease the feeling. She'd had enough of it and she needed to say it. To give even more power to her upcoming argument she rose from the couch, assuming her fighting position.

"I'm almost eighteen and I need to-" Her father's slightly hoarse voice interrupted her.

"You still live under our roof and our rules!" Her dad finally decided to chime in and his voice was low but vicious. He had even abandoned his safe place beside the bookshelf and took his place beside her mother. The glass of whiskey was firmly held in his right hand and his eyes seemed to cut holes through her. But his words were the worst, they were so predictable. As if he'd read a book on "_how to raise your teenage daughter" _and decided to use a quote from the first page of "_good defenses against you child's rebellion_".

"Are you serious? You-" Piper was cut short by her mother's shrill voice.

"No! No, you have no excuses! You had us worried and, and... You've been acting out so much lately!" Carol raised her voice so much that even Piper was a little shocked, but she quickly came to her bearings again. It was time for the truth and the blonde could feel the fire start to burn in the pit of her stomach.

"And why do you think that is?" Piper said slowly. She wanted to see if they would actually realize what the problem was or just continue to deny it. Her father had gone back to staring down at the carpet, as if he had nothing else to add.

"What do you mean?" Her mother snarled as if it was Piper's fault that she didn't understand.

"I'm sick of living under _this roof_ were everything feels like a fucking cold war!" The blonde almost growled out. She was so angry with her parents' lack of understanding.

"And your idea of _making __it __on__ you__r__ own_ was to go to some... some trailer park?" Carol swallowed the last of intoxicating drink. Piper rolled her eyes once more at her mother's incessant need to bring up where she was found and clearly point out what a filthy and horrible place it was.

"That's not what I meant." Piper closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"So you were just going to sleep outside? Outside that- that _filthy_ place?" Carol snarled, looking the picture of disgust.

"No! You're not listening!" The conversation had completely sidetracked and her mother was taking words out of her mouth and completely ran her over.

"I understand you just fine, Piper." Her mother's indignant tone implied that she wanted the discussion to be over, which just made the blonde angrier. The conversation was far form over. Carol was so thick and kept interrupting and made her own truth of what was being said, not giving Piper the chance to properly explain. Her mother ruled that Piper's explanation wasn't valid and didn't matter. The only thing that mattered to Carol was her own opinions, ruled by everyone else, and how she perceived what the world should be. And her "understanding" of the situation was that Piper's behavior was just a rebellious act, just a passing teenage phase. It could never have been anything else than that. In Carol's world, there never was a need to escape from reality, even if she herself did that on a daily basis. It may have been because she was so deep down in denial that she couldn't see where it began or ended.

"I wasn't going to sleep outside! I was with-" Piper had to stop, take a short breathing pause, to convince herself that she was going to tell the truth. That it was the right thing. It was the right thing. They needed to know. She _wanted_ them to know. Alex didn't deserve being hidden. If she could, Piper would shout to the whole world that she was in love with the raven-haired girl. But there was another thing that stopped her. Were they really girlfriends? It wasn't like they had passed a note to one another and circled yes on it. They hadn't even spoken about it. There had never been time for it. But for all she knew, they were. At least they were going to be. She hoped.

"I was with my... Girl... Friend." She felt like such a cowered for not even being able to pronounce the word. Angry that her parents could still make her scared. Scared over the power they had. That their opinions still matter that much to her, even if hers didn't seem to matter that much to them.

"We called your friends and they didn't know where you were! And neither of them lives there, so stop lying, young lady!" Her mother's cheeks became rosy and her breathing starting to get heavier. The alcohol in her system was probably not helping her increasing blood pressure. It wasn't really a surprise that her mother didn't catch the meaning of girlfriend. Of course she would presume it was a friend, anything else was completely unthinkable to her mother.

"No, but my _girlfriend _does." She let the words hang in the air for a second, feeling empowered by the fact that she had finally pronounced the word. However, there was a slight tremble in her whole being. She saw her mother take a breath, probably to yet again scold her for trying to lie.

"Girlfriend as in someone you're in love with." Piper quickly added. There was no way that they wouldn't understand that. She had practically drawn them a picture and printed out the dictionary definition of the word. Her pulse pounded in her ears, completely drowning out anything else. Suddenly, she felt boneless. Breathless. It was out.

"What?" Carol whispered, staring bewildered at Piper. "You're a lesbian?" Her mother clutched her chest, looking almost offended. Her dad took a swig of his whiskey and looked down at the carpet.

"No, more like bi? But that's beside the point." The blonde sighed, at least it didn't turn into a screaming match, but of course her mother would get stuck on the fact that she had a girlfriend and potentially was lesbian. Piper bet that her mother was already thinking about what the neighbors and her friends in her book and country club would say if they knew her daughter was gay. It would most likely be a scandal. She rolled her eyes and felt her anger flare up again. Sometimes it was like trying to beat a nail into a cement wall with a pillow when she was talking to her mother. Nothing went in. Before Piper got the chance to get to the point she was trying to make, Carol seemed to have gotten over the shock of her daughter's confession.

"So your _girlfriend_ did those marks then?" Carol's eyes were hard. Unforgiving. Piper felt as if had breath had been knocked out of her, like her mother's words had been a punch straight to her chest. She had determined that whoever had lead Piper into "lesbianism" had to be some kind a bad person, to have something to blame them for. Of course, Piper hadn't given her parents' all the puzzle pieces and she knew how it looked. But she was so protective over the other.

"No!" Piper almost shouted, outraged with her mother. Just the inclination her mother had used when she had said the word "girlfriend", clearly showed how she felt about her having a girlfriend. It dripped with contempt and she was sure that her mother pictured Alex as the biggest baddest cliche of a butch lesbian there was; stone washed jeans, wife beater tank top, leather jacket and littered with tattoos and of course she had to have short hair. In her mother's narrow minded world, that was probably the only way lesbians looked. The fact that her mom also thought that Alex inflicted her bodily harm probably just added her dislike for the raven-haired girl despite not having met her.

"She had nothing to do with them." She talked fast, wanting to brush over the subject as fast as possible before her parents could object further or make up what had happened.

"It was her uh... stepfather? Kinda..." She cringed a little when she said it. That man was so far from a father figure a person could possibly come.

"Well, if she lives in such a dangerous environment you are not allowed to see her again." Carol raised her head a bit, as if to signal that the discussion was over. Probably pleased with herself that she had saved her daughter from the lesbian that lived in a dangerous area and affiliated with bad people.

"Why'd you think the police came? To have coffee?" Piper couldn't help the sarcasm, already sick of the endless conversation.

"He was arrested, caught in the... act. He won't be a problem again." The blonde added and sighed, trying hard to keep the man's face out of her mind. She tried to remember the raven-haired girl's instead. Her girlfriend's face. _Her girlfriend_. Her girlfriend that was not guilty of her injuries.

"And none of this is her fault what so ever." She wanted to underline that Alex wasn't at fault, make sure that she was free from any charges her parents might have had against her. It was a shame that she couldn't explain to her parents, no matter how hard she may have tried, what Alex meant to her and how good she was at calming her. They wouldn't accept the other no matter how many praises she sang to them. The least she could do was to make sure that they knew that she hadn't laid a finger on her, not in a violent way at least.

"Why did you go there even though she has a violent stepfather?" The disdain in her mother's voice hadn't faded, but she at least seemed interested in knowing what had happened, which was more than could be said about her father. Beside from taking sips of his whiskey every so often, he was just a detail to the room, nothing else. However, his disapproval was painted over his face and no nonchalance in the world could erase that. It hurt. But lately, it seemed that whatever had dad did it hurt. There wouldn't be many pages left in her "good book" about him if he kept it up.

"I didn't know he would be there!" Piper exclaimed, exasperated.

"You didn't know... But you went there anyway. Just to be with your _girlfriend_." Her mother's tone was even harder, like she wanted to patronize Piper for her stupidity.

"No and... yes." Piper sighed again. It was all or nothing. She just hoped she wouldn't do a repeat performance of that time at the dining table. But if she did, it wouldn't matter as long as she got to say what she had to say.

"I ran to her because she makes me feel safe, him being there was just a coincidence, but I ran from home because you two are toxic." She pointed to her mother and father. Trying harder to blame them both equally even if it was easier to blame her mother since her behavior hurt the most and directly effected her. Her father's behavior was more hidden and it wasn't like she always encountered him when he got home after a romp. It was also the fact that she had always had such a soft spot for him, his betrayal should hurt the most, but he always managed to slither his way out of her "bad book". But she was done handing him get out of jail free cards. He needed to stop being so fucking passive and own up to his faults.

"You don't mix well and it's affecting all of us." Piper felt the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. It was so frustrating. She didn't want to give them anymore of her tears. The only thing she wanted from her parents was their understanding and their realization that their play pretend wasn't working anymore. They had to realize that their reverie was in ruins and everyone could see it.

Neither of them said anything. Her mother's shock seemed to have washed away, but the fact that she had turned around to make another drink was evidence enough that she was still somewhat shocked. Bill on the other hand, stood as still as before, swirling the whiskey around in his glass, looking at it like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. Almost like he was hearing a colleague's preposition for a new strategy or something. The disinterest was visible on his relaxed face. She just wanted to slap some life into it or at least stir a human reaction from him. The urge was so strong it almost manifested itself into action, but watching her mother make another drink, stopped her. She could see her mother pouring the gin halfway up the tall glass before she added the soft drink. Piper wanted to stop her.

"You need to stop this. We're all suffering." Her voice had died down. The anger didn't serve any purpose since nothing she had said previously seemed to stick with them. It was tiring to see that her words were no more than hollow echoes, forgotten the minute the sound waves reached their brains.

"Seriously guys, Piper's got a point." Cal chimed in. Piper had completely forgotten that she had brought him and the fact that he was standing behind her. She swallowed and turned to him. It was a breathtaking relief that he agreed with her. She gave him a half smile as he walked closer to her.

"And by the way. Way to go Piper!" He raised his hand for a high five, looking expectantly at her. Piper furrowed her eyebrow, starring back. Her brother could really not read a room.

"Really?" The blonde whispered in disbelief, furrowing her eyebrows to try to get him to take a hint. He looked puzzled for a moment at her reluctance to high five him, then it seemed to dawn on him why it was an unfit gesture.

"Oh, right. Sorry." He cleared his throat awkwardly and turned around to face their parents again who just stood like statues and didn't even look at either of their children.

"Look, it's just not working for you two." He sighed again. Bill had actually looked up from his oh-so-fascinating whiskey glass, but the vacant and bored expression was like molded to his face. Carol was busy making it seem like she was only taking small sips of her newly filled drink, when she was almost gulping down the liquid like it was a race of who could finish their drink the fastest unnoticed.

"You're like two politicians, shit talking one another behind each other's back, only playing nice when it's for show." Cal gestured with his hands and took another step towards them. He seemed to ponder what to say next, like he was making up a poem at a poetry slam event as he went. He then looked up as if he had just had the brightest idea. His whole face shone, like he thought he had solved world hunger.

"You belong to two different parties. Republicans and democrats doesn't blend well." Cal continued with his analogy and his hand gesture seemed to grow even larger, as did his eyes. She had seen her brother become completely indulged in ideas that he really believed in and once he started it was hard to stop him.

"And you're making this home feel like a debate night, but no one ever says anything!" He started to talk faster as if not to drop the fine red line he had picked up.

"It's just so chaotic living in the midst of a fucking election all the time. It's just so tense." Her brother's voice had risen and his face had turned a slight shade of red, not like their mother's face would blossom into a fully rose red shade when she was angry or worked up about something.

"And we don't even get to vote on core issues!" Cal exclaimed exasperatedly, taking deep breaths. It was silent for a while. No one moved or said anything. Their parents looked almost dumbfounded by Cal's outburst. Piper thought it was a powerful analogy, she just hoped her parents would get the gist of it.

The silence lasted half a minute before her brother had seemed to collect himself and just sighed.

"It would be nice if you could just agree that things aren't working between you two." Cal said with a slightly softer tone. It seemed that they had entered the aftermath. And hopefully they would begin to craft a peace treaty soon.

"Whatever it is that works... Just do it." Piper sighed out. All of their cards were out on the table. Their side of the story was brought to the witness stand and it would be shocking if their parents didn't find themselves guilty on all counts. But the silence from their parents grew longer. They were seemingly unsure of how to handle the full frontal assault from their children. It seemed like they weren't prepared for the onslaught and it was slightly alarming that both their parents had dug their denial so deep that they couldn't even see out of the hole. It was so sad that they had normalized such a destructive relationship, seemingly oblivious to the devastation it caused.

Frankly, Piper was so tired of running around in circles. They didn't lead home and she'd done it for years. She was just taught to put up with it, but meeting Alex had completely change all of that. And it wasn't fucking okay any longer to pretend that everything was fine. It wasn't.

"It's so ruinous and I'm so tired of seeing you two just existing in two completely different places." Piper continued. Maybe more honesty would wake her parents from their slumber, if it was even possible.

"Like yesterday. I had to help you up to your bed!" She pointed at her mom, who shrugged at the comment, but there was something else there. Defeat? Or just realization? Maybe it was just embarrassment over the fact that she had let it get to that point and had gotten caught with it.

"And then I met you, dad. Coming home from one of your _mistresses_." Her voice was bordering to desperation. All that she had painted her dad up to be when she was a kid, it was just peeled paint by her feet, dry and crushed into dust. The pages in her "good book" weren't just becoming more sparse, they were burning, crumbling to ashes before her, leaving nothing but a memory of what used to be.

"And the snide comments, like just shout or something." She was slowly running out of fuel. It was seeming more futile to keep trying to get her parents to understand, but she wanted them to know how much it hurt her.

"I can't take living in this house another second with you two continuing to wage war against each other." She hadn't even noticed when the tears had started to fall, just that her cheeks had become wet. It felt like she hit a wall, like there was nothing else she could say.

Piper sat down on the couch, letting her head slouch down into her hands. She was so tired. Tears fell into her palms, sobs making their way through her body. The room fell into silence once more. Piper clenched her jaw, feeling the bruise pulse and the pain radiated along her bone. The anger settled to more of a slow burn, almost like it was smoldering in her bones.

"You will." Her father's voice echoed around the room. It was empty, like it was no effort from him to say those words, like those words didn't deny Piper her freedom. He was completely denying her feelings and the fact that she was slightly depressed about the conditions she was forced to live in.

The blonde lifted her head from her hands and just stared at her father.

"Now, both of you will go to your rooms." It was so final. Cataclysmic to everything Piper had tried to do that night.

"And Piper, you're still grounded." Bill stared at them both to make sure that what he was saying hit home before he turned around to leave. She couldn't believe the fucking nerve of him. The hot tears burned on her cheeks. She wasn't going to just let him walk away again like he had done the day before.

"What, no-" But she was rudely interrupted.

"Upstairs, now!" Her father raised his voice and turned around, his eyes even more vicious than before.

"But-" Piper didn't dare to say anything else has her father raised his hand and pointed in the direction of the stairs. She had lost. Hard and humiliatingly easy. It was a harsh lesson that she didn't matter. Whatever might have been going on with her didn't matter to her parents. The only thing that mattered to them was their reputation and public image. If that wasn't in danger, then nothing would have to change, not even them, even if it was better for their children.

Her mother had gone to make another drink, so her back was once again turned to them. Some of the transparent liquid missed the glass and she spilled. Her dad continued out of the room and it wasn't soon before Piper could hear the door to his office slam shut.

She wanted to storm off like a child, flip the table and damage everything in sight. But the pointlessness of it all was so crushing. It was like she couldn't get the air into her lungs, like all of it in the room had simply vanished. It was paralyzing, numbing. It was a wonder that she even managed to move herself up to her own room. Well, she'd had years of training mastering the art of just shutting off, only leaving the most essential functions in working order. But she just couldn't feel. Feel the air in her lungs or her own heart that she knew was just going to keep beating. Even if it felt like she was completely dead.

She dropped down on her bed, just starring up at the ceiling. Come tomorrow, the war would still be raging and she had spent all of her ammunition. It was only the waiting game left, but she wouldn't wave a white flag. She would continue to fight, albeit silently. There was not going to be anymore pretense from her side. She was done dancing around her parents. The ball was in their court and they didn't have any ammunition either, beside the fact that they were her legal guardians until she turned eighteen. Only eight months left, Piper thought, closing her eyes. They wouldn't have any power over her. She wouldn't let them. If she had to play the part of the rebellious teenager that defied curfews, then so be it. She didn't care anymore. And her birthday was going to coming sooner rather than later.

It was only eight months.

**AN:** I'm assuming the wait for this chapter felt like eight months. I suck, I know. But only two more chapters left and I promise they're going to be a little lighter. I think you're all kind of done with this broody text anyway. So onward to more light and happy things!

Thanks for reading. Love always.

Just a quick, but super big, thank you to my beta, Maugurt. She's everything. Without her, this story wouldn't be anything but a confusing mess of a text. She's to thank for this story being what it is. So go read her stories and send her some awesome reviews, she's worth everything good in this world. :)


	20. Chapter 20

**AN**: Much more time than usual, **_finally_**, is going to be covered in this chapter and this will be the last one. Fear not, **_there will be an epilogue chapter_** since I have promised you one and there is just one particular scene with these two that I can't get out of my mind and it needs to be added to this story. These two have endured their fair share of hardship. They need a little light as well.

But seriously though, thank you so much for being so patient with me. I know I must be the shittiest writer to follow, but it means so much to me that most of you have stayed.

Thanks for reading. Love always.

Take off you winter coat, it's too heavy

Piper didn't leave her room that Sunday. There wasn't any point to it. Her room was the only place that still felt somewhat normal and sheltered. Nothing had changed in there. It was all still the same. Even if her pillows didn't smell of Alex, her presence still lingered in the room. Her copy of_The Old Man and the Sea_ was still placed on her desk instead of its usual place in her bookshelf. It was the small details. They made it seem like her room was itself, like it didn't belong to the rest of the house. Those small details reminded her of Alex and it made it feel like a safe zone. The rest of the house, however, was her parents' space and she'd had enough of them. Besides, she needed the time to figure out how she would best cope with having to live in that hollow house until she turned eighteen.

Strangely, she didn't feel as lonely as she thought she would. It was mostly due to Alex. They had texted back and forth the whole day. She would've called the other if it didn't make her think about that red and purple bruise around Alex's neck. Her ribbon of death. Piper couldn't imagine that talking would've been easy or even comfortable while her throat was sore. So instead, she was slightly worried that her swift fingers over her screen would soon wear the display down, since they somehow managed to keep three or four conversations going simultaneously. It all started with a text from Alex. She had gently asked if she had gotten home okay and if she got a lot of shit from her parents. Piper tried to keep it as brief as possible, downplaying the whole thing. Instead, she shifted the focus onto the other. It felt as if Alex had been her cliff too often and Piper wanted to show her that she could also be someone to lean on. And she really didn't want to think about it too much. There was just too much messy things in her head as it was. She just needed to press the pause button and engulf herself in Alex's pixelated words.

Later that night, Piper told Alex the whole thing. From the very beginning. It felt good to let it all out, but the feeling was only temporary since it didn't change anything. The problem still persisted. It was frustrating and no matter how she twisted and turned her situation, it was still the same. The thing was, she couldn't just up and leave the house. Her parents would call the police again and make it even worse for her. It just wasn't worth the trouble. She had seen enough of the inside of a police car to last her a life time. So, she would just have to endure eight months in a passive aggressive hell. But she didn't want to just endure it, the problem was that she'd yet to figure out a way to fight it.

Dinner wasn't hard to avoid, surprisingly. Neither her mother or father had called out to her around the time she knew dinner would be served, but she didn't care. The less she had to be around them, the easier the wait until her eighteenth birthday would be. She'd had to sneak down later to grab something to eat.

Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday rolled around. The fog had seemed to clear a little, but it was as if she just floated along, doing what she had to do be able to just stay afloat. She didn't have the fight in her to be anything but slightly conscious of what was going on around her.

When Thursday came, Piper noticed that she had developed a routine. The first thing she always did in the morning was to text Alex. It was just a simple and brief good morning text, but it felt necessary to send it, almost like it gave her the energy to stand up from the bed and get dressed. She would then walk to school, numbed with blurred and distant thoughts. The only thoughts that seemed focused were those about Alex. She was always the lighthouse in her mind storms.

As soon as she got home, she would go straight up to her room and camp up in there until she was sure no one was in the kitchen and then she could finally go and eat. It was almost like playing a twisted form of hide and seek.

She didn't know how long her punishment would go on. She already had to live with her parents, and they with her, so she didn't see the need in extending the torment further. However, neither her mom or her dad hadn't even breathed a word in her direction about anything since that faithful Saturday night. Everything in her house was always so quiet. Even more so after the fight. She could barley hear anyone, beside Cal, go up and down the stairs, but no one said a word. So, Piper thought it better to play it cool rather than to stir the pot further. She kept to her routine and kept to her room. That way, her parents could continue to play pretend and she could keep focusing on herself.

The only constant thing was that their fridge always contained something to eat. Sometimes, she would catch a glimpse of her mother or her father, but she could never see their eyes. It was always just a piece of clothing or the back of their heads. It was as if they knew when she was coming into a room and decided to turn around in the last second just to spare themselves from having to look at their daughter. Even if she pretended that it didn't hurt, she could still feel the knife twisting around in her stomach and the looming, throbbing pain lasted long into the night. But there were never any tears. She'd run out of them long ago.

Three weeks after the _incident_ a thin, thin layer of snow had settled on the ground. It seemed to be the beginning of a really cold winter. It already felt like Piper had went through a winter rather than autumn and the prospect of having to actually live through one felt incredibly heavy. She'd not even been able to see Alex again. They'd talked so much on the phone, though, but Piper needed her physical presence more than she needed the static vibrations of her voice. It was always comforting to hear the other's voice, of course, but it was only so much of a band aid. A voice can't really hug you and winters always felt so lonely.

She still hadn't taken out her winter shoes. Her white converse did nothing against the cold, but the snow had fallen over night and she'd overslept that day, barley managing to make it to class in time, let alone having the time to regard the weather. But she didn't really mind the cold. Everything around her had started to feel so cold, but there were always clothes. The only thing she minded though was the loneliness. One can't dress for loneliness.

Piper was thinking about stopping by the library, she had a huge test coming up in biology. Her room had started to feel more and more infiltrated by the hostile silence in her house. It was getting harder and harder to focus. Why was silence always so loud?

She figured that enough time had passed for her parents not to care if she got home a little later than usual. Not that they seemed to care at all about what she did since they hadn't cast her a glance or even uttered a word in her direction in three weeks.

With determination, she started to walk towards her beloved library.

When she entered the familiar building she was brought back to her latest visit. It was an ambivalent feeling, but she still smiled a little at the memory of Alex and her walking out together, even if she had come so close to losing the other at the time.

She walked past the check out counter and saw a little sign. It caught her eye. In red all capital letters the sign said "HELP WANTED". Piper looked around. There were a few people there, mostly middle aged women. She approached the desk and cleared her throat. The woman behind it had to be at least sixty and her gray hair sat around her shoulders. She wore a forest green cardigan with a golden brooch. The lady seemed to fit right into the library, as if she had not been outside the building since it was built. It wasn't that she seemed dusty like the shelves, she just seemed frozen in time, much like the library.

"Excuse me." The blonde whispered out in a hushed tone. The lady behind the desk seemed friendly, but Piper didn't want to take any risks.

"I was wondering about the sign." Piper pointed to it and the older woman smiled.

After about twenty minutes the blonde had landed herself a job. It was perfect. The fact that she hadn't thought about getting a job before was astounding. It was the most brilliant escape plan. Every weekend, she would help stack up returned books and new arrivals. If it worked out well, she could even work on weekday evenings. She would finally have a good excuse to spend as little time as possible at home.

Her second last semester in high school was approaching its end. It was beginning to be even more stressful to keep up in school, but she kept mostly to herself and just focused on getting the best grades that she could. Her old friends had seemed to have noticed that she was different so they hadn't even bothered to talk to her. At first, the blonde hadn't even thought about it, that's how "close" she and her old friends had been, but it felt like a huge relief when she noticed their absence. However, Piper had gotten a new set of friends at school. They were more acquaintances than friends, but it never bothered the blonde. There was never a discussion about who had what or who did what. Piper was so thankful for it. Even if she didn't say much, she always felt included in the group. If one would categorize them according to Mean Girls, they would be the "greatest people you would ever meet", but Piper always thought of them as the "artsy" ones. They were fun and lovely and had similar views to Alex, which was the best comfort. She would imagine how the raven-haired teen would respond to their arguments. It always made her smile.

The days seemed to blur together. Sometimes it was hard for Piper to tell if it was a Tuesday or a Friday, it was only school that made it possible for her to be able to tell the days apart. Sometimes it was painful to get out of bed, but she knew that she had to. Every day that she could cross out on her calender was a day closer to her eighteenth birthday.

That first thin, white layer of snow had stayed and soon it was a couple of inches thick. It wasn't even the middle of November, but it felt more like January. Darkness seemed to cling to every available surface and it was like the earth had stopped turning. It was like an eternal night. Piper felt so damn tired all the time.

She had just said goodnight to Alex. She had seemed particularly solemn. The raven-haired girl had talked about a letter they had received from the police department, calling them to witness against the man. A public defender had even been assigned to them. Alex and her mom would have to have a meeting with their attorney the following day. Piper was a bit nervous, she wondered if they would call her as well. She even thought about whether the letter would be addressed to her or her parents. As usual, her mind was racing a million miles a minute, but for once, it wasn't focused solely on herself. Piper thought back to their first conversation they'd had after the police had arrested that awful man. It had been two days after, the raven-haired girl had finally somewhat regained the ability to talk again. It had sounded strained, like she was in pain. Piper had constantly asked if she was okay to continue to talk, but the raven-haired girl continued to assure her that it was fine. There had been a lull in the conversation when Piper blurted out in her usual way:

"I um... Called you my girlfriend." Piper had whispered out. It felt so preschool-like to say it in a way, but she really just wanted the other to know.

"What?" The raven-haired girl chuckled. "To who?" She could hear the other clear her throat. It must've still been sore.

"My parents and my brother. I didn't know what else to say but..." Piper trailed off, unsure of how to continue the conversation. She really did want Alex to be her girlfriend, but she just didn't know how to say it.

"Do you wanna pass me a note and have me circle yes or no?" Alex said before the blonde could hear that raspy chuckle again. It sounded so easy, like it was a simple breath. Piper actually blushed. She could feel the rush of butterflies cloud in her stomach.

"No. I'm just... I didn't know what to call you." The blush on her cheeks felt warm.

"But, I think we're more than friends, you know." Piper sighed, the nerves were taking over. What if the other didn't think of them as more than friends? What if the kisses were only the product of extreme situations? The walls in her room seemed to crawl closer. They seemed to be shrinking. It got hard to breathe. She needed to be more than friends with Alex. There was no one else. No one else that she could ever imagine needing as much as Alex. Piper guessed that she would have to learn how to live with it. There wasn't any possible world where she could survive if the raven-haired girl wasn't there, girlfriend or not. She took a shivering breath. The static silence seemed to fill up the room.

"Yeah, it feels that way." Alex finally said. It sounded like she smiled.

"But let's work up to it." The other continued. Her voice always seemed so calm and sure.

"Get to know each other better and all of that kind of stuff." A light chuckled carried over the radio waves and vibrated into her ear. Piper also smiled. The weight of her imagined horrors had been instantly lifted.

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea." The blush on her cheeks warmed her up, as did her heart. She couldn't have felt more happy.

That night was the first time in a long while she'd fallen asleep with a smile on her lips.

It had taken Piper almost four weeks to talk to her parents. In a way, it had bothered her, but it was also nice to not have been an active participant in their faked lifestyle. But, when the clocked ticked closer and closer to her first shift at the library, she had to let Bill and Carol know that she would be going out so they wouldn't just call the police at the first chance. The biggest problem was that she didn't know how to say it. Would she just casually go up to her mother and tell her? Or would she just go to her dad's office to knock and tell him through the door? Or would she just simply write a note? She had lain awake the whole night, thinking of the best way to say it. It shouldn't haves bothered her as much as it did, talking to her parents, but it really messed with her.

On a Saturday morning, Piper gathered the courage to go down a little earlier to have breakfast at the dining table. As soon as she walked out of her room, she didn't dare to take a breath. The whole way down the stairs, she held her breath. She could feel her heart pulse in her ears. Piper wasn't sure what she was afraid of. Even if they said she couldn't go, she would go. And her getting a job couldn't be seen as a bad thing. She could always claim it would look good on her resume. Her parents would never argue about something looking good, especially a resume.

When she entered the kitchen, her mother stood by the counter, dipping a tea bag into a cup. The steam from the hot water rose, disappearing into thin air. Carol didn't look up. Piper stopped a second in the kitchen entrance. Her mother looked tired. Her hair didn't look as smooth and arranged as it used to be. The blonde wondered if she'd hit the bottle harder than she usually did. It made her stomach knot into a tight ball.

With a deep sigh she entered the kitchen, trying to ignore all the thoughts raging in her head. _She was the reason her mother was in worse shape than before._ A lump started to form in her throat and put pressure on her tear ducts. She had to grasp the fridge handle hard to silence her mind. It was her mother's choice, not hers. _It was her mother's choice, not hers. _She swallowed hard and took out the milk.

When she was settled at the dining table with her bowl of cereal, her mother was still standing by the sink, dipping the tea bag over and over again. Piper sat with her back to her. She cleared her throat.

"I got a job... at the library." Her voice felt so thin, but it still seemed to fill out the entire house. Even if she wasn't talking directly to her, it still felt like she was hopscotching on a mine field, like she had trespassed into enemy territory. One step away from disaster.

"I start today." She didn't know if her mother had stopped her robotic movements, but she was in the same room so she had to be listening to Piper. Her pulse jumped against her skin and it was erratic, almost like she had ran for miles and miles. Or just balancing her footsteps close to a land mine. That was sure to make ones pulse race.

"Just so you know where I am, so you won't call the police." It felt like her heart would jump out of her chest and she had to force herself to shove the first spoon full of cereal into her mouth. The food seemed to grow when she tried to chew it, but she forced herself to continue to chew. She did that twenty times before she could swallow. It was completely tasteless, but she had to act normal. She couldn't let her mother see that her mere presence was affecting her. The blonde forced another spoon of food into her mouth.

All Piper could hear was footsteps growing more distant and a tea cup hitting the coffee table. She could even hear the couch cushions being pressed down, but that was all she got.

She spent almost every weekend at Alex's place, even when she was working. It was her new routine. As soon as Friday came, she went home, packed her bag and walked to Alex. It was pure bliss. At Alex's there was nothing to tiptoe around or listening to doors shutting and opening.

Over the passing weekends, their bond evolved, growing impossibly stronger. It was no longer a chain, it was woven into their souls. They were completely inevitable to each other.

To continue to keep her parents at an arms length, she would simply send a text to her mother, or leave a note saying where she was, knowing that they wouldn't want to come and get her seeing as her mother thought that Alex lived somewhere "dangerous". It felt like she finally had gotten her safe haven. A place where she could exist peacefully. It was like she could finally breathe.

In December, the eight of December to be precise, Piper finally got the courage to ask the raven-haired girl to be her girlfriend. Alex had chuckled loudly and exclaimed in her hoarse way "Yes, of course, you idiot". The raven-haired girl smiled so wide before she kissed her. Sure, they had kissed _a lot_ after that desperate rain kiss, but the "girlfriend" kiss felt completely new, like Alex reinvented the idea of what a kiss was. They had fallen back down on the other teen's bed, giggling like little kids. The raven-haired girl's eyes had sparkled so brightly. It was like watching fireworks bloom out amongst stars on the night sky. Piper felt her whole being flutter. She trembled, but it felt good. It felt like she was being restarted, like she was finally coming alive. That night, the blonde finally knew what it felt like to smile into a kiss.

On valentines day, Alex took her out to the diner where Diane worked. It was just perfect in its simplicity. They had ordered a big plate of fries and a burger for each of them. When Diane had a break, she would come and sit down opposite them, telling them about her own romantic adventures in her youth. Alex groaned many times and blushed slightly. It was really cute to see her squirm a bit, but Piper was so intrigued. During her many weekend stays at Alex's, she had become quite attached to Diane. She was a lovely mom and the other woman had in a way taken Piper under her wings. The blonde was eternally grateful for it. It wasn't even awkward when the blonde would arrive at Alex's house before the other teen when she had the late shifts at the record store that she worked at.

That first valentines contained more laughter than she thought could fit into one single night. Later that night, she finally got to feel the other's naked skin against her own. The moon had cast shadows over their bare forms, making everything appear like liquid silver. When Piper was on the edge of unconsciousness, she'd smiled and thought that this was their silver lining, literally. They were on the other side and they'd both come out stronger, but most importantly, they'd come out of it _together._

A week later, a letter arrived to Piper. It wasn't addressed to her since she wasn't eighteen yet. In it was a request for her to appear as a witness for the prosecution in the case against the man. A criminal investigator later called her parents to see if they would allow her to testify against the man. Her dad had promptly said no, but Piper had fought him hard and said that she wanted to do it. Eventually, he agreed, but told her he would represent her. She didn't really care if he did or didn't. The only thing that matter was that she could help put that fucking man behind bars and maybe extend his punishment. Her dad had only one condition, she would not appear in the courtroom. They would have her testimony videotaped. Piper wanted to protest. She wanted to be there for Alex, to be able to see her _girlfriend_, but her father wouldn't budge. Begrudgingly, she accepted his terms. At least she got to contribute with something.

The car ride down to the police station was silent. Her dad's jaw seemed to be constantly clenched. It must've hurt to keep it locked in that position. When they entered the old brick building that served as a police station, her dad kept one of his big hands on her shoulder. In a way she was thankful for it, she was starting to get nervous, but it was only a hollow comfort seeing as her dad was still so distant.

They were lead into a room and left alone for a while, but the camera stood ready to record her statement. Her dad walked her through the questions, coaching her how to most efficiently answer them. They were rough and the flashbacks she got from them were even worse. She had to grip the edge of the metal table, feeling how tiny sweat beads formed on her forehead. It was so important for her to nail her statements, it felt like they would make or break the case. Of course, she knew it wasn't really like that, but it was so important for her to answer them as well as she could. She had witnessed the effect of the assault on Alex. She had seen the other girl's bruises, seen her shy away from a helping hand. She had seen the other girl suffer and she would walk through hell to make sure that the other man paid for that.

There were two parts to her interview. First the prosecution came in and asked her about the assault she witnessed that night and what she herself had been subjected to. After that, the defense attorney came in. It was on old man with long, wispy, gray hair. He wore a beige suit. She was almost afraid that his stomach would pop one of the buttons on his white shirt. His questions were hard to answer since she knew that he was trying to defend the man. She was pleasantly surprised when he didn't ask that many questions. Even so, she still felt like a traitor for answering them.

As soon as she got home, she went up to her room and fell asleep on her bed, clothes still on. Her dreams were haunted by the man's face and when woke up, she called Alex. She had answered, even if the clock was two in the morning. Her voice was laced with sleep. Piper had fallen asleep with her phone pressed against her ear.

With time, her mother started to call out that "dinner was ready", nagging on both Cal and Piper to come down to have a _family_ _dinner_. At first it was only once a week, but it happened more frequently as time passed. Her mom would even make small talk, but her dad remain silent. There was really nothing to say, since nothing between her mother and father had really changed. She could still hear the front door open and close late at night, so Piper assumed that her dad continued to cheat on her mom. The blonde had already said that she was no longer going to pretend and play along with her mother's pointless small talk or keep adding plaster to her parents reverie. So Piper, let her mother have her monologues, hoping that they would keep her from drinking so late into the night.

When her eighteenth birthday finally arrived, the whole house was filled with cousins and neighbors. It was strange having to pretend again. Everyone was so oblivious to the fact that they were really attending a birthday party held in the middle of a ravaged battlefield. Even if the bullets had stopped whining around their heads, no one had waved a white flag yet.

Later in the evening on the day of her "liberation", Piper felt exhausted. All the fake smiles, greetings and "thank you"'s had been eating her up from the inside the entire day. She was sitting in the living room on the white couch. All of her presents lay on the coffee table. Most of them were gift cards, but other's were things such as pots, glasses and tea cups. Piper was grateful for them as they meant that she could soon start to make her own life with her own things.

A week before her birthday, she had started to pack things in her room into boxes and bags. Ever since she got her job at the library, she had tried to look for apartments. She had talked Alex's ear off about wanting to move out of her parents' house as soon as she was labeled as an adult. The raven-haired girl had always listened and suggested different solutions, but Piper had started to grow impatient since she couldn't find a place that sufficed. In the end of April, a lazy Saturday, Piper had talked about it again, but Alex had simply cut her off.

"Move in with me." Her voice was calm and even as if she wasn't just offering the most precious gift in the world to the blonde.

"What?" Piper had just started at the other, completely baffled and a little bit scared that she had heard the other wrong.

"Move in with me. It's easier for us to find a place together." Alex had smiled so wide and her eyes were so big and expectant. Piper had been stunned, but only frozen for a moment before she threw herself in the raven-haired girls arms, exclaiming yes over and over.

Piper smiled privately, when she thought back to the blissful moment. Her lips hadn't left the other's for much more than breathing and placing delicate kisses all over Alex's naked skin that night. The blonde felt her cheeks heat up, the intimate details of that memory consuming her body.

Her wandering thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. Most of the guests had all gone home, only a few of them were left out in the backyard. Piper went to answer the door. The blonde thought it weird for it to ring so late in the evening when all the other guests had arrived earlier. She shook the thought away and plaster one of her "friendly" smiles on and opened the door. But who she saw on the other side completely shattered her facade.

On her doorstep stood Alex, flowers and present in hand. She smiled so brightly and looked at Piper as if she was one of the seven wonders of the world.

"Happy birthday!" Alex sing sang and offered Piper the flowers. The blonde took them absentmindedly and threw herself around the other girl's neck. She felt small tears forming in the corners of her eyes as the other's arms embraced her as well. Alex placed a kiss on her neck and Piper squeezed her harder.

"Thank you." She whispered, suddenly filled with a new sense of energy. Withdrawing from the other's embrace, she felt courage surge through her as she grabbed the Alex's face and kissed her without abandon.

"Hey." Piper smiled so brightly, finally, finally feeling at rest. She was free. She was about to move in with her girlfriend and school was almost over. Most importantly, she was about to start her life and she would start it with somebody she loved.

"Hey." Alex smirked in her usual way, the corners of her eyes crinkling up and her green orbs were sparkling with life. She was simply radiating. Gone was the scared girl she had once found in her backyard. Gone was the hesitant girl that always seemed to fiddle with her glasses. It was as if life had returned to her body. The most important thing was the absence of bruises on her skin. The only thing that clad Alex's fair skin was freckles that the sun had let bloom.

"Oh, sorry. Come on in."

She basically dragged Alex inside and up to her room, sitting them down on her bed.

Piper opened the present gently as if to not destroy the other girl's handicraft. The present had been wrapped with old cartoon pages. Inside lay a black, hardback book. She turned it in her hands to look at the front. It was _Kafka on the Shore._ The blonde teared up a little bit, it was such a thoughtful present. Hopefully, though, they would be able to share the book under better and happier circumstances.

"I thought you could finish reading it to me." Alex smiled shyly, fiddling with her glasses. She must have thought long and hard about this present.

"Of course." Piper smiled widely before she leaned over and kissed Alex again, letting the book fall between them on the bed.

Two weeks later, Piper placed the final box of belongings on the floor. She didn't have much, but it still rendered in six boxes.

"Welcome home." Alex said as she walked up behind the blonde as she closed the door. Piper felt the other's arms snake around her hips and settle

"As long as I'm with you, I'm always home." She felt Alex smile through the kiss that was placed on her neck. They both were truly and finally home.

**AN: **We made it! They got their happy ending after all! So, as I mentioned before, this is the last chapter, but I have started to write the epilogue, hopefully it will be done before the fifth season is released for real.

But I just wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. This fic has been such a journey for me to write. It's been challenging at times, but also so rewarding and the amount of feedback that I've gotten is beyond what I could've imagined. So, thank you so much for reading this and having been so patient with me.

Love always.


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